I am still alive! Haven't offed myself, IDK when I will but here I am, old forumer.

[Niko66]

Idk what else to say, here I am. Suicidal ocassionally still, things have gotten better but they are still awful, but better. So I guess there's some hope?
Pardon my tipsyness
AMA?

 

[underduvet]

Hey glad to know you are still with us, what keeps you going even amidst the depths of your ideation? What are you looking for in life or at least the short term?

 

[Niko66]

Hey glad to know you are still with us, what keeps you going even amidst the depths of your ideation? What are you looking for in life or at least the short term?

Hi, thank you:) coming out openly as queer and autistic and sticking to being true as possible to myself, as cliche as it is, that ended up in me making a couple of more meaningful connections with people than I ever had in my life, they are really keeping me going. So you could say love?

Long term I still can't imagine myself beign alive, short term I am just trying to not fuck up things due to my poor mental health leading me to self destructive behaviors a lot, trying to find solid grounds in these relationships. Trying to get more involved with the queer communities.

I was a bit ironically drunk out of it and having an awful day with suicidal ideations when I posted this thread, had forgotten about it.

 

[underduvet]

Hey, honestly think its really good you have found a way to be yourself, especially in this awful current world scape constantly demonising the queer community. I think being able to express yourself and being yourself makes life worth living a bit more. It's also good you've developed some connections as a result. Being a part of a community and having good people around you makes life so much more bareable. Giving back to the community is also something to live for.

I really do hope life continues to get better for you, even if it does get rough, so hang in there <3 The ideations will always be rough and it can be so tempting especially in this gloomy hellscape called earth. But being able to be yourself in this world of drones and sheep is something to strive for. I hope I don't come off too giddy or fake but seeing a win does make me a little happier. Like there still a ray of light.

 

[eternaldeath]

this is so real i leave for like 3 months with a last post like "okay im gonna die now" and then i dont

 

[Manaaja]

Hi!

Did you have a different avatar before or was I gone by the time you started posting ( I was gone for many years)? I can remember so many old users, but I don't remember you.