Venting i can't be the only this terrible with their money, right?

[iloveyouihateyou]

hello people i was just wondering, are you responsible with your money? if so, what do you do to avoid impulsive or reckless spending habits? what do you want to do with your money?

...and if not, what are you spending your money on and why?

i'll be honest recently i've been going through so much turbulence in my life and for the longest time i've held out on using my credit card for anything other than emergencies but genuinely my suffering was so severe that it all feels like a blur... but yeah skip to now and i've spent... oh i don't know maybe 300 almost 400 on things like weed, cigarettes, and alcohol. so much alcohol i've just been trying to keep myself in a neverending tipsy/drunk feeling cause honestly i can't stomach all this mental anguish every single day like i wake up and i immediately feel pain because i know i have to wake up and interact with people who don't care about how i'm feeling and getting drunk or high just feels like a big hug from someone who loves you whenever you want or request it.. it's so lame to say but over the years of my short life the only constant that was there for me in times of needs were drugs and i hate to say it but man i wish i had friends who cared about me. like i know your friends and even family can't hold your hand for everything but how i wish i had those tight knit friend groups or to be those people that are always invited out or remembered, or wanted around just anything like that..

i have dreams or more like nightmares where i'm reunited with old friends, or my phone is blowing up from people wanting to know how i'm feeling.. where i'm going to all these places i love with people who actually want to be there with me and oh my fucking god it feels so good that i never want to wake up. so when i do inevitably wake up (after sleeping in for an extra 3 hours) the immediate realization that everything i just experienced was just some cruel illusion of what i truly want instantly sends a stab into my heart. it's so cruel man like not even in sleep can i find peace on earth. sleeping just reminds me of what i don't have before i have to wake up and experience life without it firsthand. it makes me not want to sleep but at the same time i hate being awake, there's just no place the hours of the day for someone like me.

but yeah that brings me back to my spending habits, i don't have a job rn so i started running up my credit card thinking "what does it matter if i'm not going to be here eventually" or even "what does it matter if i'm gonna find a job eventually" so yeah i've just been closing my eyes tapping my card buying shit like i have admin privileges or something LOL and i know it's so dumb and irresponsible but i'll be lying if i said i care all that much cause i barely do... i just want to fill the void in my soul and if this is the only way then i'll do it cause fuck this life genuinely :')

i'm drinking 76% vodka if you're wondering and yes i am drinking right now!


if you read all of this, thank you for your time and i hope u have a good day...

 

[dembe]

same, well not exactly same but i do have spending problems also, and so does my mother, she does this thing where she puts the money in a special account with the credit union/bank or smthing where she HAS to physically go there and withdraw the money in order to get it, and the place is like in another city/town. Seems to work or her. mine is more personal and i doubt would hell but the only thing that helps me is actually putting a goal like "Im saving for those really expensive headphones" and then i actually do smhow force myself too once i realllllyyy want smthing but again that might just be personal to me.

 

[kunikuzushi]

I know that feeling too well of having those dreams. I suppress my true desires so well when I'm awake that they show up so strongly in my dreams. Just like you described. I'm sorry you have to feel this too.
And yes my spending habits are not good. I justify it by saying I feel so awful I should let myself buy anything that makes me feel slightly better. And for me it's often very expensive food and drinks. Sometimes hobby things.
Thank you for sharing and I hope you have as good a day as you can

 

[astr4]

too depressed to elaborate but uh yeah it's all fucked all my money goes to drugs it's whatever idc about living long term idk what the point of being good w money is

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I have spending problems, just the opposite of what you have. I barely have any clothes that fit me now but I can't bring myself to spend money on clothes because I worry I may need the money. Need to buy pillow cases as the ones I have are uncomfortable but I can't bring myself to do it. It's been almost 1 year since needing new clothes and I haven't done it yet...always going out with the same 2 trousers and 3 shirts...

I have the money, every month I save a lot as I basically just spend money on "musts" (rent, utilities, food, etc). I just have this thought that if I spend the money on something that isn't 10000% needed then suddenly I'll lose all my money and be homeless. I know it's irrational, makes no sense, but that thought alone controls me.

 

[RosebyAnyName]

I have some spending problems. I'm far from serious debt or anything, but I struggle to reach my financial goals in the time frame I want. My biggest expense is related to clothes and fashion (I indulge in the mid-luxury range), and my second biggest expense is other miscellaneous "entertainment" costs like going out to eat or buying small things. Admittedly I'm not too worried about those miscellaneous expenses, I'm a lot more worried about my fashion spending.

I used to keep a strict budget, but found that I just didn't care anymore since I was never going to reach my financial goals anyways, so I might as well enjoy the small things. Despite this, I actually do still keep a budget, I just struggle to follow it and often pull from my savings.

 

[LostLily]

thought I wasn't destined long for this world . So I just bought anything that would fixate on then move to the next fixation

 

[coolgal82]

im so bad with money i spent like 200 quid in london on a whim 2 days ago (i literally dont have the money to spare cus i eat takeaway every night amd im not gonna have enough) (theres other stuff in the house atleast but i'll feel guilty about using it tbh) i just went "i feel like going to london today" for a second so just did it despite it being a dumbass idea. i do that kinda stuff alot. not going to london reall but similarly bad choices

 

[lilah]

i just feel like there's no point to saving. because save for what? for who?

i stoped abusing substances but now i abuse other things...

how i wish i had those tight knit friend groups or to be those people that are always invited out or remembered, or wanted around just anything like that..

i feel the same

 

[Thisisnotaname]

I was always like that, even worst tbh.
I ever lived in basement during my working time so basically all my income was for pleasure. And I continue this life style while discharged. Now I live in a place I don't own and I'm an old junkie with troubles

 

[ZeroM24]

I always had plenty of savings, but not because I actively tried to save money but because nothing ever interested me enough to buy much of it. I was never addicted to anything, I get all the movies and series I watch for free from the internet and I eat cheap food. I dont give a shit about clothes so I also just buy what I think looks best, which is almost entirely cheap stuff. I was never on a vacation in my life so far, at least not voluntarily, just one time as a little kid. I dont want a car. I live at my parents house and I just sit in my room at this PC. That doesnt take much money.

 

[kitkat9234]

Im horrible with money. Between being manic going on crazy shopping sprees buying bullshit and then cigarettes/drugs/alcohol I've pissed away a ton of money. The money spent on cigarettes alone I could probably have a fucking Rolls Royce and huge mansion yet I'm almost 42 with nothing to show for. Was never taught how to manage money or grow wealth/investments. I don't know how I've survived this long but soon the little money I do have will run out. I'm barely able to make rent this month and Christmas is right around the corner. One of the reasons why I'm going to have to CTB because I'm not going to have a place to stay. Fml.