Venting I Can't Feel Anymore

[You_are_forgiven]

I was going to spend this whole week spending time with friends and writing thoughtful notes before I CTB. However, I can't even get up in the morning anymore. I just want to sleep. I want to keep sleeping. I don't have enough energy to do anything. My friends had a film shoot today at our place, and I just stayed in my room the entire time. When I left to eventually go to the bathroom, I could barely find any words to say. I can't move anymore. I tried to cut myself but could barely move my hands. It's like my body is actively shutting down. I feel like I'm dying. I've cancelled every event I have for the rest of the month. I'm just rotting completely alone. I called the hotline and then the cops got called. I talked them away but now my roommates know to some degree. I don't know what to do anymore. I just wish there was a button I could push to CTB. I wish I could just disappear right now.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand just wanting to disappear, I also just wish to be gone as well, personally I'm always wishing for the option to just cease existing in peace. But anyway I wish you the best.