i cant stop using ketamine

[ketamoeba]

it used to be a monthly thing but ive been going through so much shit recently that its become daily. its been helping me so much and i keep telling myself its okay because its just like if i had to use medication daily but deep down i know its not. im abusing it to feel better, to feel nothing and to feel safe. its the only thing thats comforting to me now and i dont know how to stop. it gets rid of all the physical feelings that come with my emotions and its beautiful and calming and i dont know how to cope without. if anyone has any ways to stop, or slow down a little that would be helpful?

 

[opheliaoveragain]

i've had times where i've abused it. once you start chasing a particular feeling or headspace and can't put it away, it's time for at the very least a tolerance break. you can communicate your desire to do so to wherever you get it (hopefully they are kind and not just after your money like most) and they might be able to help with advice etc.

for me, if I don't have k, or am taking a break, I smoke a lot more weed. obviously they aren't nearly the same.

but trust me, your body will thank you, whether it's your nose or entire urinary system (k abuse without breaking it down or having enough water while using can cause stones amongst other issues)

edit: I didn't include things like an official detox etc but if you're poly using you may need it. but ket isn't one that will kill or cause seizures (minus certain medical issues or complications) if you just cold turkey when you run out. it's chemical structure is not that of benzos/alcohol/etc. this is not medical advice, it's anecdotal. I am not in medical care.

but be prepared for depression etc flair ups.

if you have ANY urinary issues, it's time to get checked out. hospitals (US) do not care about your drug use, only honesty so they can treat you properly, which most likely would be fluids. definitely mind your water intake friend. you got this. it doesn't have to be forever but a good thing doesn't stay that way if it's constant.

 

[mossrabbit]

I'm so very sorry you're going through this, OP. K abuse can have some serious effects on your body, including deteriorization of your urinary tract. If you have access to a doctor or someone who can help you with addiction support, I would highly advise seeking help. This is a beast to get over yourself and the damage to your body in the interim isn't worth it.

 

[bankai]

I've said it before, I'm down to CTB. I am, however, not fine with ruining your health, intentionally or otherwise. You've got to take care of your health till you're here on this planet. And then exit in one fell swoop when you deem it necessary. But if you don't take care of your health, it will only compound your suffering immensely. You do not want that.

 

[Pale_Rider]

Thats one thing Ive never done. I drink daily now, with a good amount of weed, and kratom. Beer does not much for me. Has to be whiskey. I shake if I dont have some alcohol. So I identify.

 

[Edge_of_the_Grave]

What effects does it have on you?

 

[ketamoeba]

What effects does it have on you?

only relatively positive ones at the minute but i know it will soon start to affect my bladder and other stuff if it hasnt unknowingly already. but the positive effects are its literally keeping me alive at the minute, the feelings that make me most want to die calm when i take it, i dont hurt anymore, im just warm and floaty and at peace

 

[Sweetcheeks]

it used to be a monthly thing but ive been going through so much shit recently that its become daily. its been helping me so much and i keep telling myself its okay because its just like if i had to use medication daily but deep down i know its not. im abusing it to feel better, to feel nothing and to feel safe. its the only thing thats comforting to me now and i dont know how to stop. it gets rid of all the physical feelings that come with my emotions and its beautiful and calming and i dont know how to cope without. if anyone has any ways to stop, or slow down a little that would be helpful?

Find someone to talk to. Im here if you want someone to talk you through it.
I was hooked on K for a while.
I hope you get better. <3

 

[Griever]

Please take care of yourself and be safe

 

[G50]

If you can articulate the nature of the unpleasant mental or physical symptoms you get which ketamine obliterates, a doctor might be able to prescribe a safer drug for you. You mention the "physical feelings that come with my emotions". Are you referring to panic attacks? Physical anxiety?

 

[BadChanges]

How much do you take? do you inject it IM?

 

[ketamoeba]

If you can articulate the nature of the unpleasant mental or physical symptoms you get which ketamine obliterates, a doctor might be able to prescribe a safer drug for you. You mention the "physical feelings that come with my emotions". Are you referring to panic attacks? Physical anxiety?

you know that feeling you get in your chest when someone tells you bad news? or like youve been told someone important in your life has died? and your whole body suddenly just aches and it feels like youve been punched a thousand times in the chest and your head hurts. i get that, but i get that for such stupid things. i could just do something wrong, or someone could interact with me wrong or something and ill get that same feeling. its torture

How much do you take? do you inject it IM?

i dont measure, i take 3 bumps at a time from this little spoon i have and spread across both nostrils. my nose is fucked now though, wont stop bleeding. if i had access to IM that would be nice, especially if i could get it as prescribed therapy

 

[BadChanges]

you know that feeling you get in your chest when someone tells you bad news? or like youve been told someone important in your life has died? and your whole body suddenly just aches and it feels like youve been punched a thousand times in the chest and your head hurts. i get that, but i get that for such stupid things. i could just do something wrong, or someone could interact with me wrong or something and ill get that same feeling. its torture

i dont measure, i take 3 bumps at a time from this little spoon i have and spread across both nostrils. my nose is fucked now though, wont stop bleeding. if i had access to IM that would be nice, especially if i could get it as prescribed therapy

I bought it on Telegram. Vet grade from Germany.

I bought insulin syringes and inject 30mg to my thigh. It's the best feeling ever. I use it therapeutically, meaning that I take it twice weekly. I even do some microdose of LSD and take it at the peak. I love when I can finaly let go and cry and be able to forgive myself. I suggest that you find a liquid so you can inject. It's a completely different experience.

It does make me feel flat afterwareds and detached.. makes my anehdonia worse but a day later and i'm better. I still want to kill myself even when I feel better though. This won't change because it's a decision.

 

[ketamoeba]

I bought it on Telegram. Vet grade from Germany.

I bought insulin syringes and inject 30mg to my thigh. It's the best feeling ever. I use it therapeutically, meaning that I take it twice weekly. I even do some microdose of LSD and take it at the peak. I love when I can finaly let go and cry and be able to forgive myself. I suggest that you find a liquid so you can inject. It's a completely different experience.

It does make me feel flat afterwareds and detached.. makes my anehdonia worse but a day later and i'm better. I still want to kill myself even when I feel better though. This won't change because it's a decision.

ill have a look in to it. i used to microdose shrooms so i might consider looking in to doing something like that as well. how long have you been using for? does im still have the same effect on things like your bladder?

 

[BadChanges]

ill have a look in to it. i used to microdose shrooms so i might consider looking in to doing something like that as well. how long have you been using for? does im still have the same effect on things like your bladder?

Couple months.. I'll have to check my bladder as I have had some issues beforehand.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Are there any resources for addiction where you live?

 

[ketamoeba]

Are there any resources for addiction where you live?

likely yes but fuck if im using them. im not having any sort of addiction on my record thank ya

 

[EvisceratedJester]

likely yes but fuck if im using them. im not having any sort of addiction on my record thank ya

I mean, what's the point of complaining about your addiction if you aren't even willing to get help for it?

 

[ketamoeba]

I mean, what's the point of complaining about your addiction if you aren't even willing to get help for it?

for advice from people that have done it by themselves lol? theres so many reasons why. its not that im not willing to get help ffs its just that im not willing to use certain options. it doesnt cancel out everything

 

[EvisceratedJester]

for advice from people that have done it by themselves lol? theres so many reasons why. its not that im not willing to get help ffs its just that im not willing to use certain options. it doesnt cancel out everything

Yeah, I hate to break it to you, but most of us lack the education background and training needed in order to help those with addictions. Addiction can be complex, and generally it is better to see someone who has a background in treating these kinds of things first. Asking strangers online for help should really only be one of your last resorts after exhausting most other options. You have no clue as to whether or not the things that are being suggested to you will help you or make things worse. We can't provide you with an effective treatment plan.

 

[ketamoeba]

Yeah, I hate to break it to you, but most of us lack the education background and training needed in order to help those with addictions. Addiction can be complex, and generally it is better to see someone who has a background in treating these kinds of things first. Asking strangers online for help should really only be one of your last resorts after exhausting most other options. You have no clue as to whether or not the things that are being suggested to you will help you or make things worse. We can't provide you with an effective treatment plan.

you see though, i wasnt asking for an effective treatment plan. i was venting and i was asking if other people had dealt with a similar thing, and what they did. so i can pick and choose and try my own shit :)

 

[G50]

you know that feeling you get in your chest when someone tells you bad news? or like youve been told someone important in your life has died? and your whole body suddenly just aches and it feels like youve been punched a thousand times in the chest and your head hurts. i get that, but i get that for such stupid things. i could just do something wrong, or someone could interact with me wrong or something and ill get that same feeling. its torture

Do you think that you might have panic disorder (characterised by panic attacks). This condition involves physical symptoms such as:

Chest pain or chest discomfort
Racing or pounding heartbeat (palpitations)
Shortness of breath or feeling choked
Sweating
Muscle tension or soreness

Beta blocker drugs can help control these physical symptoms.

 

[ketamoeba]

Do you think that you might have panic disorder (characterised by panic attacks). This condition involves physical symptoms such as:

Chest pain or chest discomfort
Racing or pounding heartbeat (palpitations)
Shortness of breath or feeling choked
Sweating
Muscle tension or soreness

Beta blocker drugs can help control these physical symptoms.

it could be actually. i have a bpd diagnosis currently and i was just assuming it was that but now that youve mentioned it you could be right. thank you, ill mention it next time i have a psych appointment

 

[BadChanges]

it could be actually. i have a bpd diagnosis currently and i was just assuming it was that but now that youve mentioned it you could be right. thank you, ill mention it next time i have a psych appointment

Im suspected for BPD. Im a 34m. Just never got a diagnosis.

 

[notreallybored]

ב''ה,
I'm not sure I'd really recommend dextromethorphan, but since you're already deep in K, does putting the K somewhere out of reach and doing a reasonably deep DXM trip (oral, there are not really other ways of taking *that*) at least give your nose and kidneys a break?

I'm not familiar with K and probably glad I didn't dabble the way y'all get.

Anyway, if trying that, y'know, take what is a satisfying amount for you, and because decision making I'd recommend holding it down to just soda, cigarettes (if you can be responsible with while inebriated), maybe beer if you really feel a need, no re-upping with anything extra for *that* evening at least.

I imagine K is as bad for sleep quality as DXM (wherein you may be anesthetized but it's not fulfilling all the same needs as sleep), so again to just give your body a frickin' break, perhaps an ordinary amount of doxylamine (Unisom) and just sleeping for 24 hours a couple times a week will help you taper off the K, if your finances allow. But with DXM at least it takes 24-48 hours past using for sleep to really have the quality of 'sleep' and not just being in and out of the trip and afterglow/hangover muzziness.

 

[FruitsBasket]

It's been almost the same for me, but with coke. The only method to keep me clean is not buying/spending the money i would use on drugs. Have you ever read any material on addictions?

 

[ketamoeba]

It's been almost the same for me, but with coke. The only method to keep me clean is not buying/spending the money i would use on drugs. Have you ever read any material on addictions?

i had issues with coke too for a while, but the difference between coke and k is i realised relatively quickly that coke fucking sucks. it fucks with how i feel so much afterwards - i am so unbelievably much more suicidal on the comedown from that, it fucks with my already shit sleep, and it just never hits where i need it. saying that though, id never say no if it was provided to me. k on the other hand doesnt give me a comedown, it seems to have been aiding my sleep, and it usually always puts me in the place i want. ive been reading a little more about addiction recently, it just sucks because it feels like this is the only 'medication' thats ever made a positive difference and yet its bad

ב''ה,
I'm not sure I'd really recommend dextromethorphan, but since you're already deep in K, does putting the K somewhere out of reach and doing a reasonably deep DXM trip (oral, there are not really other ways of taking *that*) at least give your nose and kidneys a break?

I'm not familiar with K and probably glad I didn't dabble the way y'all get.

Anyway, if trying that, y'know, take what is a satisfying amount for you, and because decision making I'd recommend holding it down to just soda, cigarettes (if you can be responsible with while inebriated), maybe beer if you really feel a need, no re-upping with anything extra for *that* evening at least.

I imagine K is as bad for sleep quality as DXM (wherein you may be anesthetized but it's not fulfilling all the same needs as sleep), so again to just give your body a frickin' break, perhaps an ordinary amount of doxylamine (Unisom) and just sleeping for 24 hours a couple times a week will help you taper off the K, if your finances allow. But with DXM at least it takes 24-48 hours past using for sleep to really have the quality of 'sleep' and not just being in and out of the trip and afterglow/hangover muzziness.

k doesnt fuck with my sleep, im fact it feels like it improves it. i have really shit sleep and wake up from nightmares and just random shit so many times a night but since using k daily recently, i wake up so much less and it feels like better quality. ill have a look at dxm, its not really something ive used before but if it will help then sure

ב''ה,
I'm not sure I'd really recommend dextromethorphan, but since you're already deep in K, does putting the K somewhere out of reach and doing a reasonably deep DXM trip (oral, there are not really other ways of taking *that*) at least give your nose and kidneys a break?

I'm not familiar with K and probably glad I didn't dabble the way y'all get.

Anyway, if trying that, y'know, take what is a satisfying amount for you, and because decision making I'd recommend holding it down to just soda, cigarettes (if you can be responsible with while inebriated), maybe beer if you really feel a need, no re-upping with anything extra for *that* evening at least.

I imagine K is as bad for sleep quality as DXM (wherein you may be anesthetized but it's not fulfilling all the same needs as sleep), so again to just give your body a frickin' break, perhaps an ordinary amount of doxylamine (Unisom) and just sleeping for 24 hours a couple times a week will help you taper off the K, if your finances allow. But with DXM at least it takes 24-48 hours past using for sleep to really have the quality of 'sleep' and not just being in and out of the trip and afterglow/hangover muzziness.

k doesnt fuck with my sleep, im fact it feels like it improves it. i have really shit sleep and wake up from nightmares and just random shit so many times a night but since using k daily recently, i wake up so much less and it feels like better quality. ill have a look at dxm, its not really something ive used before but if it will help then sure

 

[FruitsBasket]

K usually makes me feel like I'm on another planet and I can't really function so I tend to use it a lot less, but I get how you feel. Tbh I've been thinking about using coke and drinking about a day before I try to commit exactly because studies have been showing that, in the comedown from this combo, you are approximately 7 times more likely to actually try to off yourself. If you are thinking about recovery I would advise staying away from both these substances.
Have you ever used medication like naltrexone? It is one of many medications that help with withdrawal symptoms and eases the urge to use drugs/nicotine/alcohol

 

[ketamoeba]

K usually makes me feel like I'm on another planet and I can't really function so I tend to use it a lot less, but I get how you feel. Tbh I've been thinking about using coke and drinking about a day before I try to commit exactly because studies have been showing that, in the comedown from this combo, you are approximately 7 times more likely to actually try to off yourself. If you are thinking about recovery I would advise staying away from both these substances.
Have you ever used medication like naltrexone? It is one of many medications that help with withdrawal symptoms and eases the urge to use drugs/nicotine/alcohol

yeah with k dosing is important. i do love the space feeling but i only usually do that much if im bored or before i sleep because its like being in a rocketship too. most of the time i go for an amount that gets the nice calm feeling and slowed dissociated thoughts, but not that much that i dont feel present in my own world. ive never used that medication either, will add to the list of shit i need to look at.