Story I can't take this

[Life_and_Death]

I see perfection every where. It's overwhelming. I can't handle it. But I want perfection. I can't have anything less or else it will be wrong.

Fuck disorders they're useless

 

[Peachycherry]

Can't say I know exactly what you're going through, seems like striving for perfection affects so many aspects of our lives.
Though I will say this : Humanity's constant search for perfection is some sort of cruel cosmic joke. We won't be satisfied until we reach it, yet we all know deep down that perfection in any subject is impossible. Then throw a couple disorders in the mix and it makes existing insufferable.

 

[iftheworldwasending]

felt this. everyone and everything seems perfect, whereas i will never be that. it's sad.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

What is perfection? My perfection can be different than your perfection. Who says what's perfect?

 

[Life_and_Death]

This probably would have made better content

You might say perfection doesn't exist, but it does. Perfection is it being perfect. Just the way you see it. So if you see it with the flaws then even though it isn't "perfect" to you it's perfection. It's something like the saying beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What might be perfect to me might not be perfect to you.

Anyway coming to accept the flaws that will come along with my projects, I see perfection. However I find this perfection overwhelming and anxiety inducing. But I don't know how to make things not perfect to avoid this anxiety, even if I did it wouldn't help. I need everything to be perfect. If it's not perfect then it's out of place and I can't have things out of place.

It's just a big circle that doesn't make much sense because if I can originally accept the flaws then why can't I accept things being out of place. I have no idea.

 

[Giraffey]

I believe that I can relate to this, I think? Forgive me I've missed the point entirely. Although the CoVid crisis has largely scuppered this kind of work, alongside my duties as a hypnotherapist and a researcher, I worked in the film industry as a cinematographer. I get extremely nervous before every shoot, no matter how much preparation I do, no matter how many times I go through it, I am also always striving for perfection - if you've ever been on a working film set, you'll know that is impossible to achieve.

Sometimes you just have to live with that ugly shadow because the assistant director is yelling about the schedule, time is money. You're under pressure, you just have to leave it. It sticks out like a sore thumb to you, but nobody else notices it, most importantly, the director is happy. You watch the dailies and all of the brilliant work you've done that day just feels 'tainted' in some small way by that tiny mistake. The film is edited and processed and you see it projected properly for the very first time at the premiere, it's turned out a lot better than you remember it and everybody is happy. The director complements you and brings you on board for the next project - the last film was brilliant he says, but you still feel like a fraud.

Pre-production for the next project rolls around, this one has a larger budget than before and you have even more creative freedom which also means more responsibility. Last time was just a fluke you snap to yourself, now there are expectations, there's pressure to match and exceed the work you did last time, to push at creative and technical boundaries. I understand the constant drive for perfection, it's a high stakes game - the end result is good, but to get there is a ridiculous amount of stress and pressure that would be largely avoided if you could just accept from the outset that there will be mistakes and that's okay.

Again, I suspect I've missed the point, but that's my own experience and interpretation of it anyway.