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almaPerdida

almaPerdida

"Oh God, I’m so depressed." - Marvin
Nov 24, 2023
142
I have my letter ready, and my SN is almost arriving. A lot of things have led me to a desire of CTB and finally making all the plans to it.

The last push was a heartbreak from a guy i met. I felt really betrayed, lost and like there wasn't any chance i'd be happy here. I asked for a signal to keep on living, then i meet him and shit happens. It felt like the universe was playing a cruel and evil joke on me instead.

He said we were moving too fast and that he wasn't ready for anything serious, and i gave him some space. Then started dating a month later. But my bruises started to heal slowly, and i found out some nasty stuff on him later. He does that everytime, with everyone. Love bombs and leaves, He also cheated on his bf like it wasn't a big thing. And those things make me feel a bit better about us not working out. I feel bad for his new bf.

Yesterday i went to a party with some friends and we had so much fun. So many funny and unexpected things happened. It felt like a glimpse of hope, a reminder that i hadn't seen everything life has to offer yet. I laughed a lot, drunk a lot, had a blast. This party might have just saved my life if i'm being honest.

I still don't know what to do with the SN when it arrives tho.
 
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Deleted member 65988

Guest
Remember that there's no rush to ctb and its something you can always come back to later. If you want to stick around, to have more fun with friends and live for those moment then it's absolutely justified if it means that much to you.
 
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almaPerdida

almaPerdida

"Oh God, I’m so depressed." - Marvin
Nov 24, 2023
142
Remember that there's no rush to ctb and its something you can always come back to later. If you want to stick around, to have more fun with friends and live for those moment then it's absolutely justified if it means that much to you.
Yeah you are right. I think i will stick around more and keep my SN stored, just in case i need it. Things seem bright now and i will enjoy this while it lasts.
 
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Deleted member 65988

Guest
Yeah you are right. I think i will stick around more and keep my SN stored, just in case i need it. Things seem bright now and i will enjoy this while it lasts.
Life is like that, it'll give ya a reason to hold on a little longer. Just keep it for now, for whenever you need it, if you ever do.
 
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