I decided to give life another shot

[HereToday]

During my final days before I planned on taking SN, I started thinking about my passions in life- mainly singing and traveling.I 've been fortunate to travel a lot for my age, but there are still a lot of countries/continents I haven't been to.

I've always loved singing, it's my dream job. Of course my parents didn't approve and forced me to study an academic subject that would get me a 'real job'. Result: a depressed student with no passion or motivation, who's spent 5 years so far trying to complete a 3 year course.
I won't go into my past of severe abuse, because it's not relevant to my decision to stay alive...

So I've decided that, at least for now, instead of killing myself I'm just going to start over. And this time I'll live the life I always wanted but never had the courage or support to.
I'm going to take out a loan and move to the other side of the word, where I'll go to school to work on my voice. The place I'm moving to is the dream for a singer, and also my dream place to call home in general. I'll make new friends and create a new life. I'll go to therapy too.

I'm going to give it my best shot, and try my best to create a life worth living. I'll do everything on my terms, not what anyone else thinks I should do. I won't even contact anyone from my old life.
If it works out, great. If it doesn't, at least I spent my last months/years doing what I loved, and I can kill myself knowing I tried my best.

Life is nothing without dreams and passions, and I'm finally going to start living mine. Wish me luck!

 

[Defcon5]

Wow this is just so great to read! I'm very happy for you and pray that as life continues to unfold, it only improves and you achieve your goals while finding new passions along the way

 

[HereToday]

Wow this is just so great to read! I'm very happy for you and pray that as life continues to unfold, it only improves and you achieve your goals while finding new passions along the way

Thank you so much for your kindness and encouragement! It's a scary step for someone who was 100% convinced they were going to die this week, but I'm also excited to see the life I can create for myself. Hopefully better than the one I currently have lol. Also wishing you the best

 

[Midnight]

That's an incredible turn-arround. I wish you all the best and really hope life can become what you want it to be. Your post is very touching for some reason and the most inspiring one i've seen so far in recovery. May your dreams be fulfilled. Take care, good luck and bon voyage internet stranger.

 

[MysticPerception]

Wow I'm honestly shocked and happily surprised. I went into this thread seeing your avatar going "There's no way they made the thread they're just replying to it." Then I read the OP and was blown away that you are willing to try again. You're much stronger than me that's for sure. Good luck, I hope you get to achieve your dreams of being a singer and I hope you make lots of friends that truly care about you and get to live a fulfilling life that you don't regret living.

 

[HopeDiesLast]

FANTASTIC news!

I've been dreading your goodbye thread and name being crossed out, so this post brings me joy.

As they say, we cannot change our past, but we CAN work towards a better future. (At least that's what I keep telling myself, lol)

I'm so sorry that people have treated you so badly, but I hope you'll be crossing paths with people who will love and care for you. Also be good to yourself!

I wish you all the best for this new chapter in your life. I'll be rooting for you all the way!!

 

[Sensei]

Good luck, HereToday! I envy you. You have accomplished what I've been trying to for years. Good job!

 

[Jean4]

During my final days before I planned on taking SN, I started thinking about my passions in life- mainly singing and traveling.I 've been fortunate to travel a lot for my age, but there are still a lot of countries/continents I haven't been to.

I've always loved singing, it's my dream job. Of course my parents didn't approve and forced me to study an academic subject that would get me a 'real job'. Result: a depressed student with no passion or motivation, who's spent 5 years so far trying to complete a 3 year course.
I won't go into my past of severe abuse, because it's not relevant to my decision to stay alive...

So I've decided that, at least for now, instead of killing myself I'm just going to start over. And this time I'll live the life I always wanted but never had the courage or support to.
I'm going to take out a loan and move to the other side of the word, where I'll go to school to work on my voice. The place I'm moving to is the dream for a singer, and also my dream place to call home in general. I'll make new friends and create a new life. I'll go to therapy too.

I'm going to give it my best shot, and try my best to create a life worth living. I'll do everything on my terms, not what anyone else thinks I should do. I won't even contact anyone from my old life.
If it works out, great. If it doesn't, at least I spent my last months/years doing what I loved, and I can kill myself knowing I tried my best.

Life is nothing without dreams and passions, and I'm finally going to start living mine. Wish me luck!

Good going! I'm in the music business. If you want any pointers, let me know.

Also, I was a social worker full time until I was 40 years old, and started in the music business. 3 years ago, at age 48, I left social work, and work in the music industry full time. It is never too late to follow your dreams.

 

[HereToday]

That's an incredible turn-arround. I wish you all the best and really hope life can become what you want it to be. Your post is very touching for some reason and the most inspiring one i've seen so far in recovery. May your dreams be fulfilled. Take care, good luck and bon voyage internet stranger.

Thank you so much for your kind words. For some reason I'm also very touched by your comment! May your well wishes come back to you tenfold

Wow I'm honestly shocked and happily surprised. I went into this thread seeing your avatar going "There's no way they made the thread they're just replying to it." Then I read the OP and was blown away that you are willing to try again. You're much stronger than me that's for sure. Good luck, I hope you get to achieve your dreams of being a singer and I hope you make lots of friends that truly care about you and get to live a fulfilling life that you don't regret living.

Haha I'm just as shocked as you! Idk what happened! I guess I thought that if I'm going to kill myself, I should at least live the life I always dreamed of first. It's not like I have anything to lose, so why not. There will always be a next bus to catch.
Thank you so much for your kindness, I can only pray that you also find it in you to try again. You deserve to live a life you love, we all do. Sending you love

FANTASTIC news!

I've been dreading your goodbye thread and name being crossed out, so this post brings me joy.

As they say, we cannot change our past, but we CAN work towards a better future. (At least that's what I keep telling myself, lol)

I'm so sorry that people have treated you so badly, but I hope you'll be crossing paths with people who will love and care for you. Also be good to yourself!

I wish you all the best for this new chapter in your life. I'll be rooting for you all the way!!

This comment really touched me, they all have but this one especially because of the second line.. It really means a lot to hear that someone cared whether I was here or not. It also means just as much to know that somewhere out there, someone is rooting for me. Thank you so much for your well wishes, I hope they come back to you like a boomerang! You're such a lovely person, I can only hope life is as kind to you as you are to everyone else. I hope you always remember that somewhere out there, I'm remembering the kind stranger who gave me so much love and support when I needed it most, and I'm rooting for you too

Good luck, HereToday! I envy you. You have accomplished what I've been trying to for years. Good job!

Thank you, I hope you can find the strength to go for the life you've always dreamed of and never look back. You have nothing to lose and there will always be a next bus!

Good going! I'm in the music business. If you want any pointers, let me know.

Also, I was a social worker full time until I was 40 years old, and started in the music business. 3 years ago, at age 48, I left social work, and work in the music industry full time. It is never too late to follow your dreams.

Music, social work, psychology, being a great human being, is there anything Jean can't do?! Thank you for the encouragement, it's great to hear from someone else who took a leap of faith and completely changed their life. I was also having some doubts about 24 being a little old to start getting into singing, so thanks for telling me otherwise! I'm having my first singing lessons next week so may message you soon for some advice! Thank you for always being the incredible person you are



These comments have really touched me and brought a tear to my eye. I wish you all the best and can only hope that everyone on this site can also live the life they dream of

 

[DepressedAngel]

I don't have the words to explain how proud of you I am. Life is so hard but I know you can get better and make it out of this downward spiral. And the fact that you are summoning the energy to try....wow. I'm just so so proud of you. Sending hugs and love

 

[Jean4]

Thank you so much for your kind words. For some reason I'm also very touched by your comment! May your well wishes come back to you tenfold


Haha I'm just as shocked as you! Idk what happened! I guess I thought that if I'm going to kill myself, I should at least live the life I always dreamed of first. It's not like I have anything to lose, so why not. There will always be a next bus to catch.
Thank you so much for your kindness, I can only pray that you also find it in you to try again. You deserve to live a life you love, we all do. Sending you love


This comment really touched me, they all have but this one especially because of the second line.. It really means a lot to hear that someone cared whether I was here or not. It also means just as much to know that somewhere out there, someone is rooting for me. Thank you so much for your well wishes, I hope they come back to you like a boomerang! You're such a lovely person, I can only hope life is as kind to you as you are to everyone else. I hope you always remember that somewhere out there, I'm remembering the kind stranger who gave me so much love and support when I needed it most, and I'm rooting for you too


Thank you, I hope you can find the strength to go for the life you've always dreamed of and never look back. You have nothing to lose and there will always be a next bus!


Music, social work, psychology, being a great human being, is there anything Jean can't do?! Thank you for the encouragement, it's great to hear from someone else who took a leap of faith and completely changed their life. I was also having some doubts about 24 being a little old to start getting into singing, so thanks for telling me otherwise! I'm having my first singing lessons next week so may message you soon for some advice! Thank you for always being the incredible person you are



These comments have really touched me and brought a tear to my eye. I wish you all the best and can only hope that everyone on this site can also live the life they dream of

I kill people with my cooking... which may be a good thing here. ;)

 

[hershberger]

I've never communicated with you, but I'm actually crying right now because what you wrote is so full of excitement and anticipation about taking a different path. Please don't let this feeling go...follow your dreams, and know we are your biggest fans.

 

[dandan]

Great! My hero!
Keep it up, I'm building what I can with what I've got, nothing to fancy, just what I want to create ....

 

[HereToday]

Great! My hero!
Keep it up, I'm building what I can with what I've got, nothing to fancy, just what I want to create ....

Good luck! You deserve to live a life that makes you happy

 

[Shakespear's Brother]

Wish you the best. Thank you for your kind posts.

 

[Quarky00]

instead of killing myself I'm just going to start over. And this time I'll live the life I always wanted but never had the courage or support to.

I'd write it down and put a note in front of me -- to be reminded every day (cause it gets tough).
Make that mantra of life etc.

 

[BlueWidow]

I can't believe I somehow missed this thread on Monday. Then again, I seem to miss a lot of threads. I don't know if it's the volume of people or the volume of threads, or if it's just my brain fog doing it's thing.

Anyway, I'm so thrilled to hear that you're giving life another chance. I'm always happy when someone can choose recovery. I wish you the best of luck and if you ever need any encouragement or support, you know we are all here for you. You're never alone and we're all cheering you on!

 

[jgm63]

Good luck!

Get the hell out of this place! Stop coming to SS, and go fight long and hard for what you want to live for.

SS will always be here, but i hope the day never comes where you return to a place as cursed as this.

Rather insulting to call this forum "cursed".
People have difficult situations that sometimes can't be resolved.
This forum provides a place where people can consider their options.

 

[HadEnough1974]

Good luck!

Get the hell out of this place! Stop coming to SS, and go fight long and hard for what you want to live for.

SS will always be here, but i hope the day never comes where you return to a place as cursed as this.

I'd like to know why @Backwood_tilt thinks this place is "cursed". I want to hear his arguments.

 

[Backwood_tilt]

I'd like to know why @Backwood_tilt thinks this place is "cursed". I want to hear his arguments.

It was said in jest :\

 

[HadEnough1974]

It was said in jest :\

Can you see how it could be insulting to so many people who come here for help and support?

 

[dandan]

come' on, he obviously didnt meant it as it sounds.... some people make mistakes when talking or writing....
this place is wonderful, and its helping me in my recovery so I dont take that comment personally, I know people can feel "cursed" , and I've been there... so kudos, and my best wishes

 

[Quarky00]

I'd like to know why @Backwood_tilt thinks this place is "cursed". I want to hear his arguments.

500 members gathered here to die ..... does not sound very 'blessed'

I get why you were offended , it's a safe kind place with wonderful people , and we should respect it . I'm sure @Backwood_tilt is aware of that , and they expressed despair about our situation/ctb in general , not SS itself ..

 

[TAW122]

That is good to hear and I hope your recovery efforts will pay off in the long term. I wish you the best in your activities and endeavors.

 

[Lefty]

That's great to hear. :)

 

[HereToday]

@Backwood_tilt I'm a few days late but thank you for your kind comment. I know it was meant in a supportive way to someone who's trying to recover, rather than bashing the site. People tend to take things a little too seriously on here. It makes sense to advise someone who's trying to recover to stay away from a suicide website lol.
I rarely come on here anymore, and stay well away from the suicide discussion forum when I do. I'm trying my best to give life a fair shot. I'm starting my new life in March and I'm so excited, just trying to get through the days until then. This 'old life' was really crushing my spirit.
Staying off this website does make it easier. That's not to say I don't greatly appreciate all the support I've received on here though. This place was my lifeline for a while. Anyway I appreciated your comment and the intention behind it, sorry you received such a reaction. Sending all my good vibes your way




Just want to say to all the kind, supportive comments everyone's left me: thank you. It means so much to me, more than I can express. I can only pray that life is kinder to you all. Or if you so choose, that at the very least that the afterlife will be. While I don't come on this site much anymore, I'm always thinking of you all and silently rooting for you

 

[LuzurPhagget]

I too am thinking of giving everything up to do something more "fulfilling." My family, my "friends," my job. Hopefully I'll be able to cut off ties with my family for good. I plan on staying away for at least a month. And who knows, if I REALLY like it, I'll stay there for the rest of my life.

I'm just waiting on a few things, and if they don't happen within a couple of weeks, I'm GTFOutta dodge!

I like your profile pic btw!

 

[HereToday]

I too am thinking of giving everything up to do something more "fulfilling." My family, my "friends," my job. Hopefully I'll be able to cut off ties with my family for good. I plan on staying away for at least a month. And who knows, if I REALLY like it, I'll stay there for the rest of my life.

I'm just waiting on a few things, and if they don't happen within a couple of weeks, I'm GTFOutta dodge!

So happy to hear you're going to try this. If the life you currently have isn't making you happy that's definitely a sign to make some changes, or even something more drastic like metaphorically 'killing' the old you and starting over. You can't go wrong with putting yourself first. I've come to realize that if you don't put yourself first, no one else will do it for you.

Before I settled on moving to a different continent to pursue singing, I was considering volunteering at an animal sanctuary in the amazon rainforest. It sounds so much more fulfilling than waking up, going to a low paying job just to make my rich boss richer, going to bed, and repeat the next day... That system was crushing my spirit. I didn't end up going to the Amazon, but plan on volunteering near my new home.

I do believe that the best way is to not bring anyone from your old life, into your new life. Maybe that's just me, but I need to start over and not have any reminders of the past.

I wish you the best of luck, whatever path you take. May everything work out the way you want it to

 

[LuzurPhagget]

So happy to hear you're going to try this. If the life you currently have isn't making you happy that's definitely a sign to make some changes, or even something more drastic like metaphorically 'killing' the old you and starting over. You can't go wrong with putting yourself first. I've come to realize that if you don't put yourself first, no one else will do it for you.

Before I settled on moving to a different continent to pursue singing, I was considering volunteering at an animal sanctuary in the amazon rainforest. It sounds so much more fulfilling than waking up, going to a low paying job just to make my rich boss richer, going to bed, and repeat the next day... That system was crushing my spirit. I didn't end up going to the Amazon, but plan on volunteering near my new home.

I do believe that the best way is to not bring anyone from your old life, into your new life. Maybe that's just me, but I need to start over and not have any reminders of the past.

I wish you the best of luck, whatever path you take. May everything work out the way you want it to

Yep. YOU are the only person you will have for the rest of YOUR life.

The place I was thinking of specifically was SOI Dog in Thailand. Beautiful place. Such nice beaches. And aw, the dogs there are so sweet. I think I need a big break from humans. Or at least the humans in my life. So toxic.