I don't believe SN is peaceful but don't have any other options

[WholeHereafter]

title explains itself...
I feel completely backed into a corner due to incurable physical illness, a lack of support, and unfortunate circumstances that will lead to impending homelessness or more abusive unstable living environments.
I don't believe SN is peaceful, but I don't know what else to do, as major traumatic upheavals are around the corner.

If you have incurable medical illness that degrades your quality of life to such an extreme degree, you should be allowed a painless dignified way to opt out of your life circumstances. If I lived in Canada I could apply for Maid and would qualify for that option. I don't know what to do. Life is about to take a huge turn for the worse stability-wise, and this will exacerbate disease activity/symptoms. My body can't tolerate that kind of incessant chaos and trauma right now, so I'm forced to think about the realities of choosing SN, but everything in me is resisting what I know will be a painful and difficult experience, SI included.

 

[AbyssalAlien]

I Support the Right to Die. So my apologies if it feels like I am guiding you to that option. But life isn't fair, has not been fair to you, and you were not given an option of when to live and now when to die.

The idea of suicide is controlling your own destiny. Maybe life wanted to sacrifice you to make an example for others, or be someones karma, or someones fortune. Point is, you were not given a choice.

But here we are at the crossroads. You now have the choice to continue in this life that you feel miserable in and know it does not have a gentle ending.

Or, you can start planning your ending, not allowing the disease to claim your life. Once you have your ending planned, live everyday as if you were about to die tomorrow. And when you can no longer live carefree, execute the plan accordingly to how you will it.

Tell, no one. Last thing you want is to be institutionalized with a crippling disease and all your last moments is just a heart monitor beeping, a cold bed, and a white wall.

Its up to you.

 

[affirmatice]

I agree. I do not think SN on its own is peaceful.

ideally, benzos, painkillers, etc. would make it much more pleasant. Although still there is not much concrete documentation on that

 

[Whale_bones]

I am very sorry to hear about your circumstances. I have an incurable physical illness as well that leaves me with extremely low quality of life, thus my opinion on SN is informed by that.

The word "peaceful" is used in a different way when assessing CTB than it would be for something that was at all pleasant, atleast for me and many others. I expect the physical symptoms from SN to be significantly less painful than what I experience regularly. Vomiting, racing heart, dizziness, these are all things I experience most of the week, so while that doesn't make it any less horrible that we're denied the right to a medically assisted legal death, it's a matter of practicalities and comparisons for me.

That's in no way to invalidate any of your fears or feelings about SN. Just sharing my perspective on why SN is an acceptable option for me.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

SN is far more peaceful than most suicide methods out there. If I had SN, I would already be dead. Those who can access SN are so lucky and privileged to where it's actually insane. But I do agree that we deserve better suicide methods like N or euthanasia

 

[Demian]

It makes me sad to hear reports like yours. If I could, I'd give you a hug right now.

I only have SN too. I thought about taking zolpidem and SN, because zolpidem will literally shut me down and then SN will kill me when I'm asleep.

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds like you've suffered so unbearably, it's just so cruel and dreadful to me how there's all this suffering, personally it feels so horrible how there isn't the option to just be euthanised, I see so much cruelty in how painless death like that is made inaccessible. But anyway I wish you the best, I hope you find peace and relief from suffering.

 

[LostSoul1965]

SN is far more peaceful than most suicide methods out there. If I had SN, I would already be dead. Those who can access SN are so lucky and privileged to where it's actually insane. But I do agree that we deserve better suicide methods like N or euthanasia

This

 

[skatergirl]

This

Is it guaranteed a success

 

[Sunshine]

Why can you not find Fentanyl or Heroin? More peaceful and with no tolerance guaranteed to die if you take enough.

 

[LostSoul1965]

Is it guaranteed a success

No method is guaranteed but SN has a high success rate if the proper protocol is followed and help is not called.

 

[skatergirl]

No method is guaranteed but SN has a high success rate if the proper protocol is followed and help is not called.

Thank you I'm terrified so if I just use 25 g of pure 99% sodium nitrite in 50 ml of water and nothing else u think it will happen for me ? I will be home for about 6 hours on my own

 

[WholeHereafter]

Why can you not find Fentanyl or Heroin? More peaceful and with no tolerance guaranteed to die if you take enough.

Not familiar with navigating the dark web or other potential trustworthy sources, but if someone can point me to some reliable sources and means I'd be grateful.

 

[aiyuxhan]

I also have chronic pain 24/7 and chronic illnesses with no cures. So, I understand how you feel.

I have been actually really sad that life dealt me with these cards to the point where I'm going to take my life because of it. :( existence for me is pain and suffering. And I'm trying my best to hold on until my birthday when I'm planing to do it.

I'm sorry that you're in a similar boat. I wish I can take away your pain and illness

I am very sorry to hear about your circumstances. I have an incurable physical illness as well that leaves me with extremely low quality of life, thus my opinion on SN is informed by that.

The word "peaceful" is used in a different way when assessing CTB than it would be for something that was at all pleasant, atleast for me and many others. I expect the physical symptoms from SN to be significantly less painful than what I experience regularly. Vomiting, racing heart, dizziness, these are all things I experience most of the week, so while that doesn't make it any less horrible that we're denied the right to a medically assisted legal death, it's a matter of practicalities and comparisons for me.

That's in no way to invalidate any of your fears or feelings about SN. Just sharing my perspective on why SN is an acceptable option for me.

I'm sorry you have physical illnesses too. What you said about SN is what I remind myself when I think about CTB too