I don't know what I want

[princessame]

honestly I don't really know what I want anymore. I finally have a job (I had posted in the past that I hoped that I'd get a job, and that it'd help me with some of my problems) and I make money, I've plans made with friends, things are starting to look up for me, but I'm still so sad. I'm still suffering, I still feel so empty. I moved out of an abusive home just to feel like my life means nothing. I mean, we just live to die, anyway. I wish I was never born, then I'd never have to suffer through such a thing. Why do I have to be here? Why do I have to exist? I'm just going to repeat the same things day after day until I die. I'm just gonna wake up, go to work, go home, and go to sleep. Sure, getting paid is cool, but it's not enough. Nothing about this is enough. I hate it here. I truly, really do. I wish I was never born.

 

[before20]

Life is an endless cycle of being told you'll be fine once you hit the goalpost, hitting the goalpost, not knowing what to do with yourself, and then being told you'll be fine once you hit a new goalpost.

It's exhausting. I feel for you.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand as I also wish I never existed more than anything, it would have saved me from so much suffering, for me personally the suffering of existing could never be worth it, I see existing as just waiting for death. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[slowdance]

I think the child abuse I've suffered has irreparably damaged me. Leaving my parents' house did not make me better. I will forever be unable to handle this life. I'm sorry you're going through so much suffering

 

[theboy]

Born to die
Dark and poetic

 

[Still here]

I can relate to this...I feel for you...