Venting I don't know why I am so bored and exhausted with life

[Namelesa]

I am in a cycle of being okay for a week then constant mental pain for the next few weeks. I am so exhausted, overwhelmed and bored of life and barely anything makes me happy when I am at the bad point of the cycle and all I want to do is sleep or want to die. However when I am okay, I can just have no thoughts except obsessively work on a project i have been doing for a few years.

I don't know why I am even like this, I feel like I have mostly everything I want but I am still suicidal.

Also cus of me being suicidal I feel trapped cus I don't know how to get out of this cycle and i am literally trapped in the house I am living in cus my parents don't allow me to go outside on my own cus of me being suicidal and I can't buy anything without their permission despite me having my own money and being 19. It just makes me hate and be so angry at my parents for creating and trapping me here.

 

[TragedyBornCrimson]

Same here man, life doesn't feel worth it if you die for everything you work for.