I don't really feel alive to begin with

[Ocean_01]

I feel like a ghost. I feel like I'm in this limbo state, like I died at some point and afterlife is playing a trick on me, like I go through all the motions of being alive and it all looks real, but I doesn't feel real. There's this latent, uncanny feeling that something's off, and it has been so for quite some time but you're not quite sure where it started, but you just know it has been there a while.

And i notice things too: overhearing strangers' conversations that just don't sound right or don't make any sense; numbers, symbols and patterns that my head can't seem to stop focusing on for no apparent reason. It's far from actual evidence but I can't shake the feeling that there's something 'glitchy' about the world we live in. It's a belief I don't want to believe in, but it's embedded into my brain like a tumour.

I think that's also something that's been pushing me to the edge. Something feels terribly off and I want out. Whatever is out there on the other side, even if it's total oblivion, may as well be more real than whatever is going on right now.

 

[Beltking]

I feel you on this. I feel I don't belong aswell. I look at humanity and the way society is and humans are deluded as a whole. World's fucked. Sometimes I feel like my life is a movie and I'm just sitting back watching it.

 

[NumbItAll]

That sounds like depersonalization/derealization and yes it is quite horrible.

 

[ShotgunShell]

I completely relate to you on this. There are some days where I just don't feel real, like I'm a ghost floating through the streets and physically passing through anybody that I walk past. I too also feel like there is something wrong with the world we live in, it's difficult to explain but I get it. Something just feels….off.

I'm sorry you also have to feel like this. It's difficult to explain it to someone who has no clue what you're talking about or just thinks you're crazy. You're not alone, OP.

 

[strawberrysuffering]

I feel like a ghost. I feel like I'm in this limbo state, like I died at some point and afterlife is playing a trick on me, like I go through all the motions of being alive and it all looks real, but I doesn't feel real. There's this latent, uncanny feeling that something's off, and it has been so for quite some time but you're not quite sure where it started, but you just know it has been there a while.

And i notice things too: overhearing strangers' conversations that just don't sound right or don't make any sense; numbers, symbols and patterns that my head can't seem to stop focusing on for no apparent reason. It's far from actual evidence but I can't shake the feeling that there's something 'glitchy' about the world we live in. It's a belief I don't want to believe in, but it's embedded into my brain like a tumour.

I think that's also something that's been pushing me to the edge. Something feels terribly off and I want out. Whatever is out there on the other side, even if it's total oblivion, may as well be more real than whatever is going on right now.

Can heavily relate to the dissociation and symptoms alike to a type of psychosis you have been experiencing.

 

[H.O.Xan]

literally me ngl

 

[synthcadia]

i greatly relate to this. everything feels "off." i don't know when the shift happened, but it happened.

i don't know if i am alive or not tbh. i have flesh and skin and yet no definitive proof.