SenelXamano
He/Him // Biggest PTV Fan
- Nov 23, 2023
- 19
My best friends are now dating. Thing is I liked him. I know I'd never have been with him because he's straight but still I can't help but feel like shit. I'm scared. My other best friend got a girlfriend and now he's fucking awful and never talks to us. I'm scared they're gonna do that to me. They're my only reason I fucking wake up. I wish I wasn't a guy, maybe then he mightve liked me. I fucking hate this. I'd withdraw myself but they're the only people I talk to. Everything he does affects me so heavily I'm not sure why. And I wish I could say they won't last long but I know that's not true they're gonna be good together. I wish this never happened. I feel like such a fucking creep for liking him while he's straight and now with my fucking other friend. I think ill never find someone. I'm going to fucking kill myself and die alone with no one who's ever liked me. Im fucking hate living knowing no ones ever going to love me. So many times I've almost given in to people trying to use me and I just might let them. I'm so gucking Lonley all the time I want a connection I want someone I want to feel loved and wanted and cared for. I never stop thinking about him. I'm not even sure if I like him like that and am just worried he's going to slowly stop talking to me like my other friend did. Slowly stop having time for me. For us. I guess it makes it a bit better that all of us don't live anywhere near eachother but fuck. I don't know why this hurts I should be happy about it and fuckignbh making jokes n shit. I don't want to be left behind again. I'm such a fucking weirdo.
