Discussion I don't wanna die, but I don't care about my life in any aspect ...

[Quinlor]

Ok, I don't wanna die anymore but at the same time I don't care about anything. I just want to stop thinking and feeling. I know it's not the good way to recovery but it's the best I can give how now.
So it's difficult to me have good thoughts but I definitely give up of killing myself.

 

[FriendofDeath]

Wow. That's excellent! For me I am in what I call survival mode. My mother will say things like she needs to exercise or go through her clothes or whatever. I remain silent. I'm not going to say crap I don't believe in - there are no "I shoulds" for me. Don't need that weighing me down on top of the depression and suicidal ideation. Some would say just surviving isn't living. I say it's a great tool for those almost paralyzed by mental difficulties. And who knows - you may find something that matches where you are right now, and your cycle could break. Just do what you can. And hold on.

 

[itsallover]

I've felt complete apathy for life and society for the majority of my life as well. I really don't get all this you have too business especially now that I have dealt with a difficult illness for four years. I know there is an end to this as I have found the right treatment for it, but at this point my mind and soul has been so numbed to wanting to "make it" that I also really don't see a way back to happy person I once was.

 

[Quinlor]

Wow. That's excellent! For me I am in what I call survival mode. My mother will say things like she needs to exercise or go through her clothes or whatever. I remain silent. I'm not going to say crap I don't believe in - there are no "I shoulds" for me. Don't need that weighing me down on top of the depression and suicidal ideation. Some would say just surviving isn't living. I say it's a great tool for those almost paralyzed by mental difficulties. And who knows - you may find something that matches where you are right now, and your cycle could break. Just do what you can. And hold on.

I've felt complete apathy for life and society for the majority of my life as well. I really don't get all this you have too business especially now that I have dealt with a difficult illness for four years. I know there is an end to this as I have found the right treatment for it, but at this point my mind and soul has been so numbed to wanting to "make it" that I also really don't see a way back to happy person I once was.

yeh, Sometimes I want to escape to the countryside maybe Oregon or Washington state and live in a hippie community on the forest. I feel connection with anything in this fuck world any more. the pandemic arose to demonstrate the hypocrisy of the contemporary world.

 

[FriendofDeath]

This pandemic has not affected my life much at all. Have mental and physical issues, so self isolate a lot. At least now no one is telling me I need to get out of the house! And the virus hasn't scared me, though if I got anyone sick, I'd have trouble dealing with that. My worry has been food - afraid we'd get to the point where we couldn't get what we wanted or needed (plus I have cats to care for!)

The commune sounds nice, except I love air conditioning and I wouldn't be an effective member physically. :)