I don’t want to die right now

[disasterplant]

I've been struggling with thoughts of cbt for the past 6 years of my life since I was 13 years old. I have had brief periods where I was "better" due to positive situations in my life, but the thoughts of cbt have always come back.

Nothing good has happened in my life recently, I've had no positive significant changes.

In fact I am struggling financially, and dealing with a back injury at the present.

But, for the first time since I can remember, I feel content. I don't have the urge to harm myself, let alone go through cbt.

I don't know why

Maybe in the next month, next week, maybe even tomorrow, I'll be back to my old ways.

But right now I am comfortably content, comfortably numb if you will.

I think I might be on the road to recovery, after being in denial for so long.

 

[Arrow]

that's good, i hope you continue to not want to die. hopefully, you never want to die ever again.

 

[4eyebiped]

Sometimes one acclimates to their situation. Being at a young age, your hormones are shifting around (My depression started when the hormones came on board) and your mind is still evolving. Those two can cause many emotional roller coasters regardless of other factors.

There could be many reasons why you reached this point, but try and not over think it. Embrace it or you risk self sabotage. I personally think content is a good level to be. It goes a long way in opening the doors to more positive things in life.