Abbadab
Professional Big Spoon
- Feb 9, 2021
- 45
What the fuck... I'm randomly feeling a lot better. It took maybe a week. I'm honestly really glad I didn't have any SN around or anything.
Every other suicidal period I've had has lasted years minimum. It's why I was so immediately ready to CTB this time around.
The past ≈year was the first time in my life I felt OK for a sustained period of time. I was so devastated at the thought of losing that when the depression started kicking in a week or two ago.
For any other chronically suicidal person... if you're set on it, you can probably recover from the depths of almost anything. No matter how bad you feel or how long it's been. The stuff I've lived through is ridiculous and I've seriously wanted to kill myself since I was a young child. I have suicide journals starting from when I first learned to write at age 6 or 7. I've been in and out of the hospital for years.
I think it was a number of factors, but the tides have seriously started to turn in the last year for me. I usually feel OK, and even when I do feel terrible, it seems like it's not for a dreadful length of time. Hopefully I don't eat my words in the near future :p
Every other suicidal period I've had has lasted years minimum. It's why I was so immediately ready to CTB this time around.
The past ≈year was the first time in my life I felt OK for a sustained period of time. I was so devastated at the thought of losing that when the depression started kicking in a week or two ago.
For any other chronically suicidal person... if you're set on it, you can probably recover from the depths of almost anything. No matter how bad you feel or how long it's been. The stuff I've lived through is ridiculous and I've seriously wanted to kill myself since I was a young child. I have suicide journals starting from when I first learned to write at age 6 or 7. I've been in and out of the hospital for years.
I think it was a number of factors, but the tides have seriously started to turn in the last year for me. I usually feel OK, and even when I do feel terrible, it seems like it's not for a dreadful length of time. Hopefully I don't eat my words in the near future :p
