I feel like I'm falling behind

[wheretfami]

I'm worried I'm going to be left behind because I've always matured way more slowly than most of those around me. I know life isn't a race, but I still feel like there are points where one should be by a certain age, right? I think I'm falling behind and I get really critical of myself because I'm afraid of being cast out. I've always been the one people are hesitant to include in things. I know my mental problems make me awkward sometimes. It just sucks knowing how hard I try to be social despite my issues.

I'm so tired of hearing that this is "all in my head". I always end up more confused by taking that advice.

 

[carac]

I'm 46 and have like the maturity of a 20 year old. I've pretty much failed hard in life but honestly now it has got to the point where I am beyond caring. I think when I was in my 20s and 30s it was something that concerned me quite a lot, I wasn't keepig up with everyone, I hated going to family occasions and getting asked the obligatory question "so what are doing at the moment?"
During the past few months I'm getting back on my feet after a really hard time, I've been getting out with friends, started volunteering then started a Job. Everyone I've met has been really great, nobody seems to be judging, I think people just accept now that life has hurdles and for some they are greater than others. I think also I am very self conscious and worry a lot about what others think, which doesn't help.

 

[dreamscape1111]

Don't think you are late in life, every flower blooms in its own time, dear friend.

I've done the same many times, but I'm starting to realize how unnecessary all that is.

There are no "shoulds" in the universe, see? They're all relative and made up by us.

They may have some nuggets of wisdom in them, but they have no absolute validity.

The Universe expresses Itself in all possible ways and you are one of those!

We are all exactly where we need to be, Reality would be incomplete without each and everyone of us.

 

[samsara_96]

You do not have to be at a certain place at a certain age. Life does not have clear cut answers, it just happens. The beauty and ugliness of life are part due to getting lost in it. Most people whom you refer to are lost in their finite selves, incarcerated by social norms and conventions. It is possible that you too were lost, but in your infinite self, overwhelmed by the contingency of everything that you can become. Or, maybe, you were never lost but only felt that way because everyone else around you were lost.

Now, there is no shame to either of them because we all get lost from time to time. I am aware that it is hard to be surrounded by people who has no idea about what you are talking about and you cannot help but assume that you are the crazy one. However, you only need to find your true self and not get intimidated by the mere shadows of the past, living their lives as if life had a users' manual.

I cannot guarantee you that any of them will accept you with open arms when you do because majority of humans are terrible beings. Otherwise, we would be living in a better world. God (if exists) did not establish our current way of life. It did not ask anyone to design an economic system which assumes the telos of human-beings to be selfish and maximize their own profit. That was our doing and now it is crumbling right in front of us.

Life could be all in our heads but that includes the lives of people who give you that advice too. The truth is we can only be sure of our existence, and the rest is our dreams, hopes, expectations, nightmares etc. Nobody has come up with a solution to the problem of induction. Kant must be the only one who approached to an answer, but even he does not give any guarantees on what is beyond our experiences. This still does not invalidate your feelings towards existence. Feelings are always valid and they should always be treated as such.