Venting I Feel Lonely

[Alexander Neumann]

I don't really even know why I feel lonely; I feel like I know so many people but I have such a hard time talking about anything about myself. For example, I try not to tell people about any of my accomplishments or any of my struggles—it was even tough to post this to a bunch of people I'd never meet in person. My reasoning behind this is that it either feels like gloating (accomplishments) or complaining (struggles). I guess the underlying theme is I don't want to burden anyone. In a sense, it feels like I try to fill my entire world with illusions, whether it be new courses, homework or random responsibilities. The fact is that I can't hide from reality. After I've inevitably finished everything, all the loneliness comes back. It's like everybody suddenly disappears and I'm just left alone.

At the same time, I know it's nobody's fault but mine. There's no way for them to know how I'm feeling without telling them. They've all been so good to me. I see them everyday. I just can't survive how I get to feel so happy then get that happiness taken away from me. The truth is that I have to make some kind of change. But, I don't know how and I doubt I have the strength to actually do it. I really don't want to feel like this.

Thanks for reading.

 

[littleraccoon3]

I felt really moved reading this because I can truly understand how difficult it can be to feel the way you do. Sometimes, no matter how many people are around us, the feeling of loneliness inside can be so deep that everything around us feels like an illusion. Even though you know a lot of people, the difficulty in expressing yourself shows the barriers that can exist when trying to really connect with others. Talking about your achievements or struggles can sometimes feel like an unnecessary burden from the outside, but actually dealing with those feelings and confronting them can be much harder.

The fact that you're feeling this way is not your fault, and no one is saying you *have* to be a burden to them. People may genuinely want to understand you, but not being able to open up can make you feel trapped inside your own little box. Not only because they don't understand, but perhaps because of the fear that comes with opening up to others... That feeling of vulnerability is hard to deal with, and it can be exhausting.

I think it's very significant that you've realized you want to change. This shows that you're ready to take a step towards yourself. But you don't have to make that change right away. You can start small—maybe begin by opening up to one person, and then share your feelings with more people as you feel comfortable. It's a process, and there's no need to rush; everything will get better with time.

I understand you're going through a tough period, but remember, even when you feel this lonely, you're never truly alone. Finding yourself and finding the right time for change will help you regain your inner strength. You can reach that slowly. Your feelings matter, and expressing them will make you stronger. You have the power to make the change you want; perhaps the first step in this journey is just starting to express these feelings in some way.

 

[Alexander Neumann]

Thank you so much.

 

[timf]

We live in a world that is increasingly superficial. As a result, even though we may know many people we often are unable to connect at any deeper level. If we try to, we can find people that get creeped out. Since people that might be interested in a deeper connection are also self-censoring, it can be difficult to identify anyone who might have a similar interest to yours. Some work around this by salting their conversations with a humorous comment such as "I should warn you that I''m the type of person that if you ask what time it is will try to tell you how to build a watch".

In a way it can be like a secret society where two people have to have a code phrase to recognize each other. In the 1930s communists would recognize each other by asking if they were fellow travelers.

Without relational depth, people can feel lonely in the midst of a crowd.