Venting I fucking hate nights

[Mart]

I go crazy almost every single night. Get a headache from stress thinking too much. I just want something that actually forcefully puts me to sleep. I just want it to stop.

 

[discokicks]

night times are scary. it's quieter, darker. i'm drinking a lot to get past my fear

 

[Mart]

night times are scary. it's quieter, darker. i'm drinking a lot to get past my fear

I'm out of booze at the moment. It does help me at nights though, I can't lie about that. It just happens every night. In the daytime I wouldn't really label myself as suicidal, but at nights I want to. Even if they day was good I just feel like I'm ruining everything and it's falling apart.

 

[discokicks]

What do you mean you don't feel like it in the day?

 

[Mart]

What do you mean you don't feel like it in the day?

I don't feel the urge to ctb immediately during the day. If/when it happens I know how I'm gonna do it. There's a plan. At nights is the only time I think I might not make it to the plan.

 

[discokicks]

Again it comes down to basic human instincts. The day has light and the night has darkness.

 

[Painpleasure]

I too despise night time. For some reason my anxiety and panic response shoots way high at night time upon realising that I've done nothing whatsoever to improve the depressing situation I've dug myself in.

I find the morning to be highly motivating and an opportunity to "start again" and "get it right" but nothing ever changes.

This vicious cycle really is draining and distressing but I cannot escape it as it is the very nature of life!

 

[Empty Smile]

I actually rather have night time than day.
I love the darkness, it's where I am most comfortable. It's where I can be me. It's where I can let my inner demons out to play.

 

[netrezven]

can't sleep too. It's a cliche, but one thing i like is to get drunk and watch a good horror movie with loud headsets in lights off. I find it spectacular when the brain draws so well real fictions, sounds, vibrations and fear, that you almost think of a possibility of this "nightmare" becoming true. I might have some kind of autism, so my brain makes every fiction quite real. All this combined with the idea, that i don't care at all and can't stand the night anyway, brings me to a point i will be happy if there is someone "evil" in the room.

 

[Donewitheverything]

I hate nights, too. I have insomnia and that's when my worst memories come to haunt me. When I just want to sleep the pain off, my body either aches or I sometimes get hives because that's how bad my anxiety becomes. And even if I don't experience those things, I have the worst flashbacks which causes me to toss and turn. Doesn't help that it's difficult to get any sleeping medicine as I'm on vacation and the closest pharmacy is a fair distance. :/

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I used to love nights but my insomnia is so bad now and I have the worst most vivid nightmares when I do get to sleep. Now mornings...I have a special hatered for getting up and facing a new day. It's just so nauseating and depressing realizing Im still in the same situation and didn't just pass in my sleep like I always hope.

 

[Mart]

I used to love nights but my insomnia is so bad now and I have the worst most vivid nightmares when I do get to sleep. Now mornings...I have a special hatered for getting up and facing a new day. It's just so nauseating and depressing realizing Im still in the same situation and didn't just pass in my sleep like I always hope.

I don't do anything, so I'm fine in the morning. Each day is like the last, I've left the house only a handful of times in the last month.

 

[intheweeds]

I'm right there with you. Being in the dark, trying to sleep, and instead just laying there for hours thinking.

 

[SomebodyBroken]

I'm right there with you. Being in the dark, trying to sleep, and instead just laying there for hours thinking.

yeah, try to do something with the bus for yourself, looking for different methods or exits, and eventually fall asleep with the thought of your worthlessness

 

[JadedGray]

I used to be a night person (was never a morning person) but dealing with insomnia has made my suicidal thoughts worse, since all I can do at night is lay in bed thinking about my life and how badly I want to end it.

 

[SomebodyBroken]

I used to be a night person (was never a morning person) but dealing with insomnia has made my suicidal thoughts worse, since all I can do at night is lay in bed thinking about my life and how badly I want to end it.

I think this is a problem for all of us, that in this forum.

 

[JadedGray]

I think this is a problem for all of us, that in this forum.

Well, atleast it gives us more time to research our methods so that they're successful when the time comes.

 

[Eren]

the nights are horrible also for me, I have serious problems of insomnia, I have even been four days without sleep, and the worst thing is having to go to work without having rest

 

[JadedGray]

the nights are horrible also for me, I have serious problems of insomnia, I have even been four days without sleep, and the worst thing is having to go to work without having rest

I guess that's one of the only benefits of being a NEET. I can make up for the lack of sleep from the previous night during the morning even though this is what has screwed up my sleep cycle in the first place.

 

[sunny.sativa]

This is long. I'm sorry.

Melatonin!! It's au naturel or whatever. I take the gummies, they're at Walmart (assuming you're in America, or is there Walmart all over the world??) for like $6 a bottle! 10 mg puts me to sleep fairly quickly.

Now ya don't have to listen to me, as I am some random internet weirdo, but if you'd like to try something, I suggest this (it's going to take a bit of energy and a bit of effort, I know you may not have that right now, but I promise it'll help!) ..

Take your 10 mg melatonin. If you want. Or don't. If you don't, fine, skip that step lol.
Lie down in bed, maybe play some nice music, your favorite soft playlist. Or if you're a fuckin animal, play some heavy metal. Whatever makes you happy lol. That is if you can sleep with sound, or white noise, such as a fan or birds chirping, ocean waves, etc. All I mean is, set up a comfortable environment for yourself. If noise will distract you long enough to drift off, perfect.
Straighten your blankets. A ruffled bed isn't comfortable. Set your pillows up nice and fluffy or whatever, idk if you use pillows, I personally hate the damn things.

Breathe. You're okay now, you can just breathe. The day is ending, you get some hours of unconsciousness and peace away from the bullshit outside, and I think we should be thankful for this sometimes :/ in through your nose, out through your mouth, slooowly. Let your thoughts come, acknowledge their presence, and let them leave. You don't have to dwell on them.

When you lie down, after some breathing, y'know your brain is all oxygenated now, you're chillin, start relaxing your body.

Close your eyes.. Focus on your feet, first. Relax your toes, then your ankles, let your muscles let go, one bit at a time. Let them melt into the bed. By the time you get to your hands, elbows, then shoulders, neck, and face muscles, focus on your breathing. When a thought tries to interfere, give it a friendly "fuck off" by continuing to listen to your steady breaths. It'll leave. Keep relaxing, you're almost there.

It works amazingly well, and with practice, it becomes a habit. I was skeptical because a doctor told me to do this and I think a lot of what they say is bs. But I sleep very well now and get there quickly, thanks to this.. whatever it'd becalled. Routine?.. Im really sorry this was so long. If you actually read all this, you're a trooper. Might as well try it. What's to lose?

TL;DR: I feel for you and I'm upset that you can't find relief right now. I hope it gets easier for you and if you need someone to talk to, please feel free to send a message. xx

 

[spanishguy22]

my problem is not going to sleep but that i wake up several times instead of sleeping normal since a depressive attack. lame fuckign shit

 

[JadedGray]

This is long. I'm sorry.

Melatonin!! It's au naturel or whatever. I take the gummies, they're at Walmart (assuming you're in America, or is there Walmart all over the world??) for like $6 a bottle! 10 mg puts me to sleep fairly quickly.

Now ya don't have to listen to me, as I am some random internet weirdo, but if you'd like to try something, I suggest this (it's going to take a bit of energy and a bit of effort, I know you may not have that right now, but I promise it'll help!) ..

Take your 10 mg melatonin. If you want. Or don't. If you don't, fine, skip that step lol.
Lie down in bed, maybe play some nice music, your favorite soft playlist. Or if you're a fuckin animal, play some heavy metal. Whatever makes you happy lol. That is if you can sleep with sound, or white noise, such as a fan or birds chirping, ocean waves, etc. All I mean is, set up a comfortable environment for yourself. If noise will distract you long enough to drift off, perfect.
Straighten your blankets. A ruffled bed isn't comfortable. Set your pillows up nice and fluffy or whatever, idk if you use pillows, I personally hate the damn things.

Breathe. You're okay now, you can just breathe. The day is ending, you get some hours of unconsciousness and peace away from the bullshit outside, and I think we should be thankful for this sometimes :/ in through your nose, out through your mouth, slooowly. Let your thoughts come, acknowledge their presence, and let them leave. You don't have to dwell on them.

When you lie down, after some breathing, y'know your brain is all oxygenated now, you're chillin, start relaxing your body.

Close your eyes.. Focus on your feet, first. Relax your toes, then your ankles, let your muscles let go, one bit at a time. Let them melt into the bed. By the time you get to your hands, elbows, then shoulders, neck, and face muscles, focus on your breathing. When a thought tries to interfere, give it a friendly "fuck off" by continuing to listen to your steady breaths. It'll leave. Keep relaxing, you're almost there.

It works amazingly well, and with practice, it becomes a habit. I was skeptical because a doctor told me to do this and I think a lot of what they say is bs. But I sleep very well now and get there quickly, thanks to this.. whatever it'd becalled. Routine?.. Im really sorry this was so long. If you actually read all this, you're a trooper. Might as well try it. What's to lose?

TL;DR: I feel for you and I'm upset that you can't find relief right now. I hope it gets easier for you and if you need someone to talk to, please feel free to send a message. xx

This is all good advice. I do all of this every night but since I have rebound insomnia from relying on sleeping pills for so many years it no longer works. It will probably take a long time before I can fall asleep normally again. This could work for people who don't have a chemical dependency, though.

 

[sunny.sativa]

This is all good advice. I do all of this every night but since I have rebound insomnia from relying on sleeping pills for so many years it no longer works. It will probably take a long time before I can fall asleep normally again. This could work for people who don't have a chemical dependency, though.

Aww, that sounds awful. I hope you find easier sleep in the near future. This is gonna sound stupid, I'm sure you've tried it all, but herbal teas? Chamomile? Meditation?? Uhh getting SUPER stoned? Idk. I feel for you ..

 

[JadedGray]

Aww, that sounds awful. I hope you find easier sleep in the near future. This is gonna sound stupid, I'm sure you've tried it all, but herbal teas? Chamomile? Meditation?? Uhh getting SUPER stoned? Idk. I feel for you ..

Thanks. I drink Chamomile tea every night before bed. I tried Lavender but it didn't help long term. I try meditation and deep breathing while I'm trying to fall asleep, it eventually works but I usually don't fall asleep until morning. I found that Marijuana never helped me fall asleep. Alcohol would help me fall asleep, but not stay asleep. I think the only thing that will help is giving my brain time to recuperate from all the years of prescription meds. All good suggestions, though.

 

[netrezven]

can't sleep too. It's a cliche, but one thing i like is to get drunk and watch a good horror movie with loud headsets in lights off. I find it spectacular when the brain draws so well real fictions, sounds, vibrations and fear, that you almost think of a possibility of this "nightmare" becoming true. I might have some kind of autism, so my brain makes every fiction quite real. All this combined with the idea, that i don't care at all and can't stand the night anyway, brings me to a point i will be happy if there is someone "evil" in the room.

ye i'm not alone for sure, shouldn't had so much vine.

 

[Santiago]

I love nights. Everybody is asleep and I feel alone in the world.

 

[pole]

Is it just me or am i the opposite lol. I love the night time. All quiet, dark. You can hhst cuddle up in your bed and watch movies and stuff alone in peace. No god damn sunlight waking you up or bothering you. Might just be me tbh lol.

 

[intheweeds]

This is long. I'm sorry.

Melatonin!! It's au naturel or whatever. I take the gummies, they're at Walmart (assuming you're in America, or is there Walmart all over the world??) for like $6 a bottle! 10 mg puts me to sleep fairly quickly.

Now ya don't have to listen to me, as I am some random internet weirdo, but if you'd like to try something, I suggest this (it's going to take a bit of energy and a bit of effort, I know you may not have that right now, but I promise it'll help!) ..

Take your 10 mg melatonin. If you want. Or don't. If you don't, fine, skip that step lol.
Lie down in bed, maybe play some nice music, your favorite soft playlist. Or if you're a fuckin animal, play some heavy metal. Whatever makes you happy lol. That is if you can sleep with sound, or white noise, such as a fan or birds chirping, ocean waves, etc. All I mean is, set up a comfortable environment for yourself. If noise will distract you long enough to drift off, perfect.
Straighten your blankets. A ruffled bed isn't comfortable. Set your pillows up nice and fluffy or whatever, idk if you use pillows, I personally hate the damn things.

Breathe. You're okay now, you can just breathe. The day is ending, you get some hours of unconsciousness and peace away from the bullshit outside, and I think we should be thankful for this sometimes :/ in through your nose, out through your mouth, slooowly. Let your thoughts come, acknowledge their presence, and let them leave. You don't have to dwell on them.

When you lie down, after some breathing, y'know your brain is all oxygenated now, you're chillin, start relaxing your body.

Close your eyes.. Focus on your feet, first. Relax your toes, then your ankles, let your muscles let go, one bit at a time. Let them melt into the bed. By the time you get to your hands, elbows, then shoulders, neck, and face muscles, focus on your breathing. When a thought tries to interfere, give it a friendly "fuck off" by continuing to listen to your steady breaths. It'll leave. Keep relaxing, you're almost there.

It works amazingly well, and with practice, it becomes a habit. I was skeptical because a doctor told me to do this and I think a lot of what they say is bs. But I sleep very well now and get there quickly, thanks to this.. whatever it'd becalled. Routine?.. Im really sorry this was so long. If you actually read all this, you're a trooper. Might as well try it. What's to lose?

TL;DR: I feel for you and I'm upset that you can't find relief right now. I hope it gets easier for you and if you need someone to talk to, please feel free to send a message. xx

This is pretty good advice. 10mg of melatonin is a lot though. The normal recommended dose is only 0.3mg. Any higher than that and you may be drowsy or sluggish the next day, it varies from person to person. I bought some 0.3mg capsules on Amazon for like $5 and I pop one 30 minutes before bed. It definitely helps!

Life Extension Melatonin, 300 Mcg, 100 Capsules Amazon product ASIN B000X9QZZ2

 

[Final Escape]

This is why many people will tend to drink and drug before bedtime. Because you got racing thoughts or get a bit negative at night. At least the getting more negative in the evening seems to happen to me. I use melatonin but I swear I developed a tolerance and it's not working like it used to.

 

[Alchemist]

It's funny because I hate day with a passion. The light, heat, noise and sun make me wish for night to arrive. Back when I had no obligations during my first bout of deppression I stayed up all night, slept at morning and woke up in the afternoon.