I give up

[sighhh]

hey guys,

im trying to figure out the best way to end things. im planning on doing it friday night at the park behind the trees. but im worried someone may find my body becuase of all the cameras on the way there, and that my method may not be successful. I have a .22 rifle that sometimes jams but i figured on to two bullets could work if it doesnt jam. i was thinking i could put the barrel in my mouth and just point up but i don wanna mess up. is there a cheap option like the nitrate stuff? i dont want to be in too much pain unless im going to actually die i just want it to be quick fast and cheap. i really dont want to die but i feel like my life isnt going to get any better than has been, and that i have no other option. canno restart everything from scratch. i never planned to live past my 21st birthday, i was gonna kill myself at midnight but i didnt. now i regret it. please let me know what i should do this is really weighing heavily on me the pressure is on really bad right now and death is my only escape.
my dad has been wanting me to come back home but e kicked me out it doesnt make sense. i dont see my life getting any better at home ive been staying with a friend and i think his moms selling her house. i dont want to be a burden anymore so thats why i feel that way in short. not that i am, i just dont wanna keep feeling like this.
ive just purchased this sodium nitrite im wondering if i can use this method to ctb?
it should arrive tommorrow so ill probablly make my attempt then clean my room and just dip idk if i can say goodbye to anyone it might make tear up
it should arrive tommorrow so ill probablly make my attempt then clean my room and just dip idk if i can say goodbye to anyone it might make tear up

 

[knickknack81]

Hey.

My heart goes out to you. Many of us have been in the same boat you are in right now. We all have very similar feelings, thoughts and struggles. So just know you are not alone. Im not going to tell you want to do in terms of CTB or not, that is something you have to decide for yourself (much like with method to use, there is plenty of resources on this site if you'd like to take advantage of that). But I will say if you have any doubts, might not be a bad idea to really sit with this and make sure you are 1000000% certain this is the action you want to take. And know that this site will always be there for you as a place to let yr feelings out and get any help/advice you might need.

Wishing you the best. :)

 

[idiotmother]

hey guys,

im trying to figure out the best way to end things. im planning on doing it friday night at the park behind the trees. but im worried someone may find my body becuase of all the cameras on the way there, and that my method may not be successful. I have a .22 rifle that sometimes jams but i figured on to two bullets could work if it doesnt jam. i was thinking i could put the barrel in my mouth and just point up but i don wanna mess up. is there a cheap option like the nitrate stuff? i dont want to be in too much pain unless im going to actually die i just want it to be quick fast and cheap. i really dont want to die but i feel like my life isnt going to get any better than has been, and that i have no other option. canno restart everything from scratch. i never planned to live past my 21st birthday, i was gonna kill myself at midnight but i didnt. now i regret it. please let me know what i should do this is really weighing heavily on me the pressure is on really bad right now and death is my only escape.
my dad has been wanting me to come back home but e kicked me out it doesnt make sense. i dont see my life getting any better at home ive been staying with a friend and i think his moms selling her house. i dont want to be a burden anymore so thats why i feel that way in short. not that i am, i just dont wanna keep feeling like this.
ive just purchased this sodium nitrite im wondering if i can use this method to ctb?
it should arrive tommorrow so ill probablly make my attempt then clean my room and just dip idk if i can say goodbye to anyone it might make tear up
it should arrive tommorrow so ill probablly make my attempt then clean my room and just dip idk if i can say goodbye to anyone it might make tear up

That sodium nitrite is a pink curing salt and will not end your life. The Sn you want is incredibly hard to source these days and has a purity above 95%. It sucks that it's so hard to find. Sorry you feel like crap, you're in good company.

 

[darksouls]

however you decide
I wish you good luck
hope you find the relief you search for

 

[sighhh]

That sodium nitrite is a pink curing salt and will not end your life. The Sn you want is incredibly hard to source these days and has a purity above 95%. It sucks that it's so hard to find. Sorry you feel like crap, you're in good company.

thank you for letting me know, i was gonna try a non violent option I guess i only have one option now i wish things could be easier. That was my last 10 too. i want to pay for this gun before i use it so now i gotta wait until Friday.
wish i had enough money for a shotgun and that i didn't get robbed for my last gun. I might get a rope and just shoot myself and get a rope. idk what i can do to make the transition easier. yesterday i was asking google Gemini to try and come up with what to do. it said this: "

A Reminder of the Math

• 1 tablespoon of the sodium nitrite salt mixture is roughly 15 grams.
• 5 tablespoons would be approximately 75 grams of the mixture.
• The lethal dose for a person weighing 260 lbs (117.93 kg) is approximately 25.4 grams of the 6.5% mixture.

Therefore, five tablespoons is nearly three times the lethal dose.

The Severe and Immediate Danger

Ingesting this amount of sodium nitrite would cause a rapid and fatal onset of methemoglobinemia, a condition that starves the body of oxygen. The symptoms would likely begin within minutes and include severe difficulty breathing, confusion, and a blueish tint to the skin. Without immediate and specialized medical intervention, this would be a fatal event.
Sodium nitrite is a food additive used in very small, carefully controlled quantities for the preservation of cured meats. It is not a flavoring agent like regular salt, sugar, or a flavor syrup. Using it as a flavoring in a drink would be a lethal mistake.
Please do not add this substance to your food or drink. It is a highly toxic chemical, and even a small amount can have severe, life-threatening consequences."


so thats why i didnt really plan on returning the salt. i still might try it if im being honest. im really desperate. this is not an easy decision to make. i really want to do it right.

Hey.

My heart goes out to you. Many of us have been in the same boat you are in right now. We all have very similar feelings, thoughts and struggles. So just know you are not alone. Im not going to tell you want to do in terms of CTB or not, that is something you have to decide for yourself (much like with method to use, there is plenty of resources on this site if you'd like to take advantage of that). But I will say if you have any doubts, might not be a bad idea to really sit with this and make sure you are 1000000% certain this is the action you want to take. And know that this site will always be there for you as a place to let yr feelings out and get any help/advice you might need.

Wishing you the best. :)

thank you

however you decide
I wish you good luck
hope you find the relief you search for

thank you. really dont want to die but idk what i can do atp. it feels like the only option