Venting I HATE BEING A TEENAGER WHO HAS A PREFERENCE FOR OLDER PEOPLE!!

[nattys5thtoenail]

(I AM NOT A MINOR TO BE CLEAR, I am an 18 year old freshman in college!!)

But sigh, I'm only attracted to people in their late 20s-early 40s and it sucks, literally everyone gets so sexy when they're older and the only older people who would date someone like me are loser creeps.

i probably should just wait until im 30+ to start dating but im scared that the ages will inflate and ill still find them unattractive.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I always liked older guys too. I am at least that age myself now- mid 40's. For me though, it's always been guys in their 40's I found the most attractive. Just one of those things I guess. Like my friend used to say- you go for men rather than boys.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I know what you mean. I'm really old and sexy and not a creepy loser at all, although I do own a cute puppy I could show you. Also I do have candy, but it's Halloween so that makes sense. DMs open.

 

[mrpeter]

cant you just date someone in their early 20s you looks older?

 

[kat6]

Have you thought about what makes them attractive to you? Is it the stage of life (usually more stable job, security, not a party animal etc), the interests (usually older music, films, conversation topics), or just purely a physical thing?

I used to be like you and pretty much exclusively dated men 15+ years older. I never felt taken advantage of or groomed to do anything I didn't want (hell, I often was the one initiating it lol), BUT… something happens when you reach the age of your inappropriately older boyfriends. When I was 18, dating a 35 yo was not a big deal. But now in my 30s, I find it disgusting. I don't care how beautiful, mature, cool, intelligent an 18 yo is, there's nothing they could ever do to make me go out with them. Just ew.

So even though I still don't feel like a victim in any way, I now truly see all the men I dated for the creepy losers they were.

Now before people come with pitchforks, I know there are plenty of healthy relationships with big age gaps… but those usually happen when you're older and are at similar life stages. Up until about 25ish, even a 5 year gap can be very significant considering all the life changes.

 

[nattys5thtoenail]

cant you just date someone in their early 20s you looks older?

Early 20s isn't enough, they're like 15 year olds who just got their license to me. I need to see some gray hairs and bloat

Have you thought about what makes them attractive to you? Is it the stage of life (usually more stable job, security, not a party animal etc), the interests (usually older music, films, conversation topics), or just purely a physical thing?

I used to be like you and pretty much exclusively dated men 15+ years older. I never felt taken advantage of or groomed to do anything I didn't want (hell, I often was the one initiating it lol), BUT… something happens when you reach the age of your inappropriately older boyfriends. When I was 18, dating a 35 yo was not a big deal. But now in my 30s, I find it disgusting. I don't care how beautiful, mature, cool, intelligent an 18 yo is, there's nothing they could ever do to make me go out with them. Just ew.

So even though I still don't feel like a victim in any way, I now truly see all the men I dated for the creepy losers they were.

Now before people come with pitchforks, I know there are plenty of healthy relationships with big age gaps… but those usually happen when you're older and are at similar life stages. Up until about 25ish, even a 5 year gap can be very significant considering all the life changes.

I didn't really have the greatest parents and I had some pretty traumatic stuff happen so I probably just deep down want to be validated by someone older than me

 

[mrpeter]

Early 20s isn't enough, they're like 15 year olds who just got their license to me. I need to see some gray hairs and bloat

date one with progeria

 

[MelancholyMagic]

Older is better across the board. Most 20-year-olds don't know up from down. Being friends or partners with someone ten or more years older is the sweet spot, up until you're around 35. (Then you can be with similar age).

 

[Hvergelmir]

i probably should just wait until im 30+ to start dating but im scared that the ages will inflate and ill still find them unattractive.

It's not really about numbers, but experience.
At 18 you likely have very little experience of adult life. You're likely still in school, and you're quite possibly living with your parents. Already, in your early twenties you're likely to have several times more experience.

With some patience, I think you'll be in a much better spot in just a few years.
Even if your age preference keeps inflating, age difference means less the older you go. (Compare how peoples lives change between 20 and 30, versus 30 and 40.)

Don't let me juggling numbers, or anyone else discourage you from pursuing something you think will work, though.

 

[dweams]

I'm not sure if giving you this information will help you or not, but I just wanted to help you the best way I could. :)

I did some research and found this article about age differences in relationships. Here's something I found particularly interesting:

Many people assume that age-gap couples fare poorly when it comes to relationship outcomes. But some studies find the relationship satisfaction reported by age-gap couples is higher. These couples also seem to report greater trust and commitment and lower jealousy than similar-age couples. Over three-quarters of couples where younger women are partnered with older men report satisfying romantic relationships.

Here's the full article: https://theconversation.com/mind-the-gap-does-age-difference-in-relationships-matter-94132

 

[Ironborn]

I think it's more common than people realise, in my teens/early twenties I was only attracted to women over 30, at one point I was seeing a woman who was in her late forties.
I'm 37 myself now and still find older women attractive.

 

[hail]

felt, albeit my ideal age range would be around the 45+ category, anyone below that just does not appeal to me at all

 

[mrpeter]

Whats the point in dating anyone anymore when ai exist

 

[Shadows From Hell]

When I was in my 20s, I always liked dating older women. I don't know why, but me and the younger ones could never get along.

 

[nattys5thtoenail]

Whats the point in dating anyone anymore when ai exist

Tried that, it's not developed enough, they're like babies to me. Which defeats the purpose. I need someone with gray hairs and wrinkles.

I'm not sure if giving you this information will help you or not, but I just wanted to help you the best way I could. :)

I did some research and found this article about age differences in relationships. Here's something I found particularly interesting:


Here's the full article: https://theconversation.com/mind-the-gap-does-age-difference-in-relationships-matter-94132

this gives me hope.