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deadtrash666

deadtrash666

⛧𝕭𝖑𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝕸𝖊𝖙𝖆𝖑⛧
May 20, 2023
20
I hate that I freak out or get anxiety over nothing. I fucking hate myself. I feel like I'm going to ruin my relationship by being such a crashout. My bf just abruptly hung up on me yesterday at 6 pm and he wouldn't respond to me for the rest of the day, I was just so confused and worried and then I started getting frustrated because I was just getting left on read and not being told what's going on and then I got worried again and sad that I got worked up. Then this morning he didn't open any of my messages and his phone was off and I started freaking out cuz he's suicidal too. And I called off work cuz I was so worried and now he has just responded to me and was confused and said he is gone for this long every day, and like yeah that's true, I expect that, he normally doesn't text me til like 230 or 3 o'clock, but I was just worried cuz the phone was off and the abrupt hangup and not telling me what's going on. It's all the factors that made me worried. I'm not normally worried when he doesn't get back to me for a few hours, but all the stuff surrounding it and that he previously told me if he would ctb that he would wanna do it in such a way nobody finds him for a bit. It just made me worried asf. And I crashed out. I really don't wanna overwhelm my bf. He has a lot going on already. I'm just a crashout idiot. I hate myself
 
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