Venting I have a hard time achieving goals

[S1_ckJoe]

Next Tuesday I have to hand in an important project for college that I've only done the sketches of. I have a terrible tendency to do everything last, and thank goodness it hasn't gone badly, but I don't know why I tend to do that. I set goals, I tell myself I'll work certain hours then I'll rest a bit, but it's hard. So far I haven't made any progress, and it frustrates me when my family talks to me when I'm working. I live with them, why can't they understand that I'm busy doing an important project? I used to stay up for hours, drinking energy drinks and sleeping barely two hours, I said I was going to stop doing that, but I think I'll have to do it again because of my stupidity.

 

[endofline2010]

Here are a couple suggestions:
1. Break your goals down more. Maybe a goal of completing an entire paper is a little too big, so start off with the abstract, then outline, then each section, then editing. That takes one big goal and chunks it into maybe 8-10 smaller, more easily achievable goals.
2. Have a sit down with your family and set strict boundaries. Tell them (don't ask) not to talk to you when you're working on assignments. Tell them this is non-negotiable, and you will ignore them and not respond if they don't respect your time and space.
3. Get a set of noise canceling headphone, or even earplugs to minimize distractions.

 

[S1_ckJoe]

Here are a couple suggestions:
1. Break your goals down more. Maybe a goal of completing an entire paper is a little too big, so start off with the abstract, then outline, then each section, then editing. That takes one big goal and chunks it into maybe 8-10 smaller, more easily achievable goals.
2. Have a sit down with your family and set strict boundaries. Tell them (don't ask) not to talk to you when you're working on assignments. Tell them this is non-negotiable, and you will ignore them and not respond if they don't respect your time and space.
3. Get a set of noise canceling headphone, or even earplugs to minimize distractions.

I have never set limits on my parents, every time I do, it ends in a silent treatment for who knows how many months. But I will try. As for headphones, I bought some noise-cancelling ones.

 

[ben_]

I have a similar issue. Began wearing the headphones virtually 24/7, sometimes not even really listening to anything. Only when I'm in mood for talking, I'll take them off. Now - when someone says something to me and I notice it (sometimes I simply won't), I'll ostensibly unlock the phone and pause whatever I'm listening to, then take off my headphones and ask them a bit loudly (because when you've just taken off your headphones, you naturally speak a bit louder), but politely (!) what is it that they need.

Not gonna lie, this hasn't been a miracle cure. But it helped a lot and I find it much easier than demanding someone not to talk to me and then dealing with their sourpuss all day.

If you really need to tell them that you don't want to be disturbed, you might try to be sort of overly apologetic and polite about it. Something like "I'm so sorry but I need to finish this first, then we can talk, okay? So sorry about it." It might not be honest, sure. But who cares.

Now if they manage to disturb you while you're working, maybe make it a little more obvious you're not very enthusiastic about it. Perhaps also casually tell them that "it takes ~23 minutes to regain focus after being interrupted".

Fingers crossed.

 

[ConstantPain]

... I have a terrible tendency to do everything last, and thank goodness it hasn't gone badly, but I don't know why I tend to do that.

If you get an answer or any suggestions that help, I would appreciate them as well. I have always been a terrible procrastinator and still am in my 40's. I can handle my normal daily work duties but if I have a report or grant application die, I tend to wait until the last possible moment. With me, I think it's a combination of being a perfectionist and intentionally trying to delay extreme anxiety. That sounds strange I'm sure, but if I try to start things early, I tend to keep going over and over the same things, wanting to get it perfect. When I procrastinate I don't have the time to obsess over everything.
I hope things get better for you and you sound young enough to retrain yourself and improve. Just the fact that you've already realized this and are willing to look for solutions tells me you're smart and open to change. Good for you and best of luck!

 

[Overwhelmed52]

You seem to be pretty hard on yourself. It can be hard to get things done if you're self critical. Do you delay and restart projects because you doubt whether your work is good enough? Or because you want it to be perfect and are afraid it isn't? If so, you need to commit to getting something down without second-guessing yourself as you go (and breaking it up in to smaller goals is a good idea). Your work will be just as good as it is when you take longer, trust me.

 

[ConstantPain]

You seem to be pretty hard on yourself. It can be hard to get things done if you're self critical. Do you delay and restart projects because you doubt whether your work is good enough? Or because you want it to be perfect and are afraid it isn't? If so, you need to commit to getting something down without second-guessing yourself as you go (and breaking it up in to smaller goals is a good idea). Your work will be just as good as it is when you take longer, trust me.

Thank you and I yes, I doubt my work is good enough and always want it to be perfect. I know I should break stuff down into smaller goals and have tried but the same self doubt creeps in. I'd love to think my work would be just as good if I didn't procrastinate and appreciate your encouragement!

 

[Overwhelmed52]

Thank you and I yes, I doubt my work is good enough and always want it to be perfect. I know I should break stuff down into smaller goals and have tried but the same self doubt creeps in. I'd love to think my work would be just as good if I didn't procrastinate and appreciate your encouragement!

Of course! I bet your grades are just as good when you when you take a timed exam as they are when you have an open-ended amount of time to work on a project at home. Just remember that, and set a timer for 15 or 20 minutes and work without giving yourself a chance to second-guess. You can always go back and do some editing a day or two later, but torturing over every word will not make a difference.
Also, think of the project as something you're doing because it's interesting versus something you have to do. That can make it feel less like "work" :).