Story I have been in bed for 14 hours at this point

[IfyouareamanWinston]

And just really trying to dig back to the root of some of my issues. I really can't remember much from before I was 24-5 or so. I would say my memories start at about 13 and are sparse until senior year of high school. Then I have a few memories until my mid 20s when I would say my memories are complete from that point onwards.

The one thing I do remember that plays over in my mind is my mother showing me this letter my grandmother sent her before I was born telling her to abort me. Tbh grandma was right because she ruined both my fathers and my life. Like why couldn't the dumb bitch just get the abortion?


Anyway I can't find the answer but I think it's funny that that is my first memory at 12/13yo.

 

[Worndown]

Not all grandmothers bake cookies and give you a big hug. I am sorry you had an alternate grandmother but am glad some of your memories are returning. Can you use these to put perspective on your early life and have a better life in the future?

 

[IfyouareamanWinston]

Not all grandmothers bake cookies and give you a bug hug. I am sorry you had an alternate grandmother but am glad some of your memories are returning. Can you use these to put perspective on your early life and have a better life in the future?

Actually I loved my grandmother very much and she was the only family member that was kind
and cared for me. Her death is what sort of triggered this spiral I have been in the last 5 years. I don't blame her for the letter I think it was wise. My mother is the dumb bitch for bringing me into this world.

i really can't get back memories as I have tried for a few years now to remember and made no progress unfortunately.

 

[Worndown]

Can you move forward in life with the memories you have, both good and bad?

 

[Rational man]

I suppose she never told you why she showed you the letter?. My Mother told me about my father not wanting me and that stuck. parents have much to answer for. Of course, dig deeper and we can often find other nastiness in some relatives.

 

[IfyouareamanWinston]

I suppose she never told you why she showed you the letter?. My Mother told me about my father not wanting me and that stuck. parents have much to answer for. Of course, dig deeper and we can often find other nastiness in some relatives.

She showed me the letter to prove that my grandmother was 'bad'. It really just proved that my mom is a bitch but I already knew that

 

[Worndown]

Not all mothers pass the test either. I have a few friends that had that problem. It makes life tough for a while. Eventually they moved beyond these negative influences and lived life on their terms. It was not perfect, but it was better.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really wish that I was never brought into this world as well. It would have prevented so much unnecessary suffering. I'm sorry that you are going through all this. It really is such a depressing existence.

 

[Lost Magic]

I understand. I was an accident that shouldn't have happened. All this world did is make me despise most people. Seriously, humans have fucked this world up beyond repair. I am ashamed to be a part of this shitty race.