I have no more energy to fight and suicide is the only thing that can now give me peace, relief and an escape

[FireFox]

I am going to ctb by the end of this week because my life is never ever getting better and I have no future at 27.

Being suicidal the urge to leave your body and mental state is so strong. I have been fighting it for years and years now I can't fight it anymore. I wake up everyday and when I look in the mirror I don't want to me anymore. I wish I was someone else.

I can't stop crying anymore and I feel like I am drowning. I really wanted to live and be happy. Frequent disappointments in my 20s has made me feel more and more life is not for me. I feel like I am error in God or universes creation because of struggling to find my place in the world.

Why is it whenever I have something good happen for me the world puts an obstacle in place it's the like the world doesn't want me to have nice things. I can't take it anyone having good things getting taken away from me. I can't cope anymore I can never enjoy anything good without it being taken away at the last minute.

Life is just a cruel unfair game and I don't want to play anymore.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

The thing is, nobody has an actual place in this world. Your existence isn't an error because it's one that came about by chance, not because of destiny or something. A lot of people don't feel like they have a place in this world. Nobody exists for any sort of objective purpose.

The world isn't a sentient being. It isn't out to get you or anything. Everything faces a mixture of good times and hardships in life. Life is basically just a series of obstacles.

 

[Silently Dying]

I am going to ctb by the end of this week because my life is never ever getting better and I have no future at 27.

Being suicidal the urge to leave your body and mental state is so strong. I have been fighting it for years and years now I can't fight it anymore. I wake up everyday and when I look in the mirror I don't want to me anymore. I wish I was someone else.

I can't stop crying anymore and I feel like I am drowning. I really wanted to live and be happy. Frequent disappointments in my 20s has made me feel more and more life is not for me. I feel like I am error in God or universes creation because of struggling to find my place in the world.

Why is it whenever I have something good happen for me the world puts an obstacle in place it's the like the world doesn't want me to have nice things. I can't take it anyone having good things getting taken away from me. I can't cope anymore I can never enjoy anything good without it being taken away at the last minute.

Life is just a cruel unfair game and I don't want to play anymore.

I feel the same way. I've tried and tried, but I can't try anymore. I don't want to be here. I want to go home and be with my child and father. Life is just too hard. I've fought so many battles - now I'm too tired.

 

[33-vertebrae]

I get it. I feel you.

 

[FireFox]

I feel the same way. I've tried and tried, but I can't try anymore. I don't want to be here. I want to go home and be with my child and father. Life is just too hard. I've fought so many battles - now I'm too tired.

@Silently Dying The same people who call us weak and selfish where the same people who didnt take us seriously when reached out to them for help.

I love this quote by Morrisey calling out the public hypocrisy regarding Sinead O Conner death:

"You hadn't the guts to support her [Sinead] when she was alive and she was looking for you......Why is ANYBODY surprised that Sinead O'Connor is dead? Who cared enough to save Judy Garland, Whitney Houston, Amy Winehouse, Marilyn Monroe, Billie Holiday"

https://www.itv.com/news/granada/2023-07-27/morrissey-asks-where-was-support-for-sinead-oconnor-when-she-was-still-alive

This can also be applied to ordinary people who experience being pushed away from loved ones and society because they suffer from .mental illness and addiction

I get it. I feel you.

@33-vertebrae Thank you

 

[Silently Dying]

@Silently Dying The same people who call us weak and selfish where the same people who didnt take us seriously when reached out to them for help.

I love this quote by Morrisey calling out the public hypocrisy regarding Sinead O Conner death:

"You hadn't the guts to support her [Sinead] when she was alive and she was looking for you......Why is ANYBODY surprised that Sinead O'Connor is dead? Who cared enough to save Judy Garland, Whitney Houston, Amy Winehouse, Marilyn Monroe, Billie Holiday"

https://www.itv.com/news/granada/2023-07-27/morrissey-asks-where-was-support-for-sinead-oconnor-when-she-was-still-alive

This can also be applied to ordinary people who experience being pushed away from loved ones and society because they suffer from .mental illness and addiction

@33-vertebrae Thank you

So true. They'll show up at the funeral crying their eyes out yet didn't give a shit when that person was alive. The world is a hateful place.

 

[FireFox]

So true. They'll show up at the funeral crying their eyes out yet didn't give a shit when that person was alive. The world is a hateful place.

@Silently Dying The signs were always there I was never mentally OK but my family ignored the signs and worst of all accused me of being difficult and making their lives difficult.

The same family are now surprised I have an eating disorder. My family never taught me how to cope with things going wrong and all i know was self-harming to turn off every negative emotion.

For me suicide is the permanent turn off of all emotions.

If the adults around me got me help when i was younger I wouldn't be making plans to kill myself.

My family set me up for failure in teaching me to believe everything happens for a reason .

 

[needthebus]

@Silently Dying The signs were always there I was never mentally OK but my family ignored the signs and worst of all accused me of being difficult and making their lives difficult.

The same family are now surprised I have an eating disorder. My family never taught me how to cope with things going wrong and all i know was self-harming to turn off every negative emotion.

For me suicide is the permanent turn off of all emotions.

If the adults around me got me help when i was younger I wouldn't be making plans to kill myself.

My family set me up for failure in teaching me to believe everything happens for a reason .

I hate that you haven't posted in so long :'-(

I really liked you a lot. :-( I hope you end up coming back here and they just locked you up for a bit or, if you are gone, I hope it doesn't hurt anymore. I really thought you were so cool. Sucks you probably are gone.