Help i have to

[Life_and_Death]

i wasnt sure if this post would go here or the suicide section but after thinking about why i am making this post i decided it should go under recovery because its a problem im hoping to correct.

i feel like i have to commit suicide. lately ive been trying to get better but i have this over powering urge to kill myself and im not sure why. its almost like i have to. like im suppose to. maybe ive just finally gone crazy

 

[KleinerWolf]

Is there something that potentially triggers it?

If not, then I'm speaking for myself,
Just quickly mentioning:
There are 4 seasons spring summer autumn winter (no shit Sherlock)

suicidal ideation/urges/depression is the same.
You are not going to feel amazing every single day.
it's okay to have the urges, but do be careful not acting on impulse.
Talk about it with other people, and have good coping techniques to help buffer it.


Take care luv.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Is there something that potentially triggers it?

not that i can think of.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

If nothing is triggering it could it be that it's a habitual way of thinking, kinda like a coping mechanism? I find that suicidal urges have become the default outlet for my stress which means they never go away even when my life overall is going well. I imagine overcoming this is a long process of identifying when you are feeling suicidal for no reason and trying to let that stress out in a more healthy way.

Aside from talking to a therapist, perhaps meditation or some kind of deep breathing and relaxation process could help you. If you find that your thoughts can get very invasive learning how to slow them down so that you can relax and think more positively could help.

Hope this is a tiny bit useful.

 

[so tired or manic]

for me it's insanely minor things that trigger the thoughts and took some time to connect the dots because they just feel so unimportant. could that be a possibility?

 

[Life_and_Death]

thank you guys :) i will definitely look into those as ways to help and what might be triggering it.

 

[Sensei]

i feel like i have to commit suicide. lately ive been trying to get better but i have this over powering urge to kill myself and im not sure why. its almost like i have to. like im suppose to. maybe ive just finally gone crazy

I recognize this very well. When I feel like that it's almost as if I'm on autopilot and I have to reason with myself to stay cool. I'm bipolar and this kind of death drive is not uncommon if you suffer from bipolar disorder. Do you have this diagnosis or do you suspect that you might?

 

[Life_and_Death]

I recognize this very well. When I feel like that it's almost as if I'm on autopilot and I have to reason with myself to stay cool. I'm bipolar and this kind of death drive is not uncommon if you suffer from bipolar disorder. Do you have this diagnosis or do you suspect that you might?

borderline personality disorder actually. its half diagnosed (he handed me a piece of paper and the therapist said something like hes guessing) but ive personally looked into it and i match up pretty good with everything it talks about

 

[Sensei]

borderline personality disorder actually. its half diagnosed (he handed me a piece of paper and the therapist said something like hes guessing) but ive personally looked into it and i match up pretty good with everything it talks about

Unfortunately, the combination bipolar disorder (especially bipolar disorder II) and borderline personality disorder is quite common. Just because you have one of them doesn't mean you don't have the other. I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but I've compiled a layman's guide: A Guide to Bipolar Disorder. If you recognize yourself, you should probably mention it to your therapist.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Unfortunately, the combination bipolar disorder (especially bipolar disorder II) and borderline personality disorder is quite common. Just because you have one of them doesn't mean you don't have the other. I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but I've compiled a layman's guide: A Guide to Bipolar Disorder. If you recognize yourself, you should probably mention it to your therapist.

awesome :) im just about to leave for work so ill read it when i get home

 

[PoisonedJuliet]

i wasnt sure if this post would go here or the suicide section but after thinking about why i am making this post i decided it should go under recovery because its a problem im hoping to correct.

i feel like i have to commit suicide. lately ive been trying to get better but i have this over powering urge to kill myself and im not sure why. its almost like i have to. like im suppose to. maybe ive just finally gone crazy

I feel the exact same way. I don't want to die but I feel like it's something that I have to do if I ever want to get unstuck. You aren't crazy and if you are then don't worry I'm in the same boat ;)

 

[Life_and_Death]

I feel the exact same way. I don't want to die but I feel like it's something that I have to do if I ever want to get unstuck. You aren't crazy and if you are then don't worry I'm in the same boat ;)

It's not so much to "get unstuck" it's even there when I'm feeling reletively ok. It almost feels like a santanic ritual where its ingrained in me and I just have to. (btw I've never been apart of a cult or anything) maybe I've just been suicidal for too long and its just a me thing now. I hope I can change it back

 

[PoisonedJuliet]

It's not so much to "get unstuck" it's even there when I'm feeling reletively ok. It almost feels like a santanic ritual where its ingrained in me and I just have to. (btw I've never been apart of a cult or anything) maybe I've just been suicidal for too long and its just a me thing now. I hope I can change it back

Oh okay I get it now. I really hope you can too and I wish you the best of luck. <3

 

[noaccount]

If it's happening without any specific triggers you recognize, it might be the kind of deeply-ingrained habit that's gotten "wired" into your brain by repetition? Which is the kind of thing psychedelic-assisted therapy gets recommended for "resetting" a lot...

Also, if you have the chance to look at some of the literature, workbooks, or support groups around C-PTSD - or find a professional who works from that lense? If you're identifying with a lot of symptoms that get described as personality disorders - C-PTSD treatment will often address a lot of the same symptoms but from a less-biased perspective.