jakerjays
Member
- Jul 29, 2025
- 64
I'm going to carry out my third attempt on October 1st and, as the title would suggest, I haven't really been thining about suicide at all and I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I'm not scared or worried or excited and I'm just hoping that's not a bad sign.
My last two times previously, I felt very conflicted and more emotional, but I don't feel that right now. It's good maybe in the sense that I'm not thinking of backing out, but maybe subconciously my body knows I'm not going to do it and so nothing has kicked in.
It's Saturday right now and I have no obligations on Sunday or Monday. On Tuesday, I'm hosting a discussion about what will now be my final artwork and Wednesday is when I will kill myself. I have university in the morning and then I will go and have a look at comics with my friends before getting dinner and... going for it I guess. I'm going to sit (or stand) on an open, rural trainline near my house at around 8pm.
I haven't written any notes, and if I do it'll just be something small to make sure all my friends are notified and that somebody specific gets my laptop to aid with studies.
If anybody has any advice, suggestions or infomation as to how I can make things easier for myself during the process and maybe also how to identify how I'm feeling, you'd be greatly appreciated.
My last two times previously, I felt very conflicted and more emotional, but I don't feel that right now. It's good maybe in the sense that I'm not thinking of backing out, but maybe subconciously my body knows I'm not going to do it and so nothing has kicked in.
It's Saturday right now and I have no obligations on Sunday or Monday. On Tuesday, I'm hosting a discussion about what will now be my final artwork and Wednesday is when I will kill myself. I have university in the morning and then I will go and have a look at comics with my friends before getting dinner and... going for it I guess. I'm going to sit (or stand) on an open, rural trainline near my house at around 8pm.
I haven't written any notes, and if I do it'll just be something small to make sure all my friends are notified and that somebody specific gets my laptop to aid with studies.
If anybody has any advice, suggestions or infomation as to how I can make things easier for myself during the process and maybe also how to identify how I'm feeling, you'd be greatly appreciated.
