I just can't take this situation anymore.

[SadGirl]

I've been dating for almost four years. In the beginning, everything was fine. We didn't fight; she was more affectionate, attentive, and kind. During these years together, I needed her financial help, and I'm currently unemployed and can't afford it. This really irritates her, which is the reason for all our fights. She's changed a lot with me, and I've changed too. I'm trying to improve too. But she goes out every night to hang out with friends and doesn't even talk to me properly. We live a little far from each other, but she always comes to see me every weekend. She really seems to love me, but it seems like something, maybe the spark, has faded. I feel alone in this relationship. She doesn't talk to me, only superficial conversations and things like that. Like me, she also says she's worn out by my constant need for her money. She doesn't mean any harm, of course, but that doesn't justify her rudeness, sarcasm, and aggression toward me. I really don't know what to do and I want the honest opinion of anyone willing to talk and help me. I'm very emotionally dependent on her. The other day, for the first time, she said she was going to break up with me. I panicked, felt so bad, and almost went to the emergency room.

 

[hippiedeath]

Relationships are like that. The longer you're together, the harder it gets. I wish I had something comforting to say. It always starts well. I can't say avoid relationships, I'd be a hypocrite. Just watch your own ass above all else.

 

[Ashu]

Well, the most obvious suggestion is that your getting a job would be the best thing for your relationship. Is that impossible? I ask without judgment, having myself been too fucked up to work for much of my life.

 

[The Morningstar]

I'm torn between saying "It sounds like it has gone toxic, so end it" and giving you advice on how to mend it.
Torn because I don't know the whole story, and it's possible that you are only sharing the worst parts here.

Take some quizzes like, "Is my relationship toxic?" just to get some clarity while you consider it from all angles.

If you do decide to rekindle the spark, try looking up resources on how to re-enter/reignite the honeymoon phase of the relationship. "Re-enter the honeymoon phase" as a search term will help sift through the dross, as most "rekindle" articles tend to be for older folk.

And hey, pick her some flowers, ok? Or make her favorite food. Some simple, thoughtful, cheap gesture to get the ball rolling; gain some momentum.

Best of luck to you.

 

[SadGirl]

Well, the most obvious suggestion is that your getting a job would be the best thing for your relationship. Is that impossible? I ask without judgment, having myself been too fucked up to work for much of my life.

Yes, maybe it would be better. And I need a job.

 

[Edge_of_the_Grave]

relationships are difficult nowadays

 

[Celerity]

Yes, maybe it would be better. And I need a job.

How old are you? What work have you done before?

I can relate to the despair of being unemployed. Everything feels impossible. You feel like you must have been an imposter before when you supposedly had it together. These feelings are valid, but they are not real indicators of what your life has to look like going forward.

 

[SadGirl]

How old are you? What work have you done before?

I can relate to the despair of being unemployed. Everything feels impossible. You feel like you must have been an imposter before when you supposedly had it together. These feelings are valid, but they are not real indicators of what your life has to look like going forward.

I'm 26 years old and have had a few stable jobs. But I discovered I have ADHD, bipolar disorder, social and generalized anxiety, and severe depression. This was disrupting my life in every way and still is. It's absolutely horrible, and so far no medication has really helped me get better. I'm trying to stay calm and manage my depression.

 

[Celerity]

I'm 26 years old and have had a few stable jobs. But I discovered I have ADHD, bipolar disorder, social and generalized anxiety, and severe depression. This was disrupting my life in every way and still is. It's absolutely horrible, and so far no medication has really helped me get better. I'm trying to stay calm and manage my depression.

Don't feel disheartened by the failure of the medications. They are much less effective than advertised. A lot of the observed effect is owed to placebo. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6584108/

I haven't fixed my depression (I'm still on this site, lol), but at 32, I am much better off than I was at your age - just 6 years later. I recommend a job where you can help people and feel good about what you do. It doesn't have to be lofty. I worked customer services and worked way too hard probably, but I was very dependable for my coworkers and was able to help a lot of little old people who needed the extra attention. It sounds stupid, but these kinds of interactions are food for the soul.

How is your sleep? Do you exercise? Again, not cures. You can't run or lift your way out of despair, but damn does it help. Life still sucks but it sucks quite a bit less. The normies are right for once to recommend these things.