lost_one
Once
- Nov 3, 2024
- 27
I am going to die alone. I just know it. And I want to be okay with that, but am not. I don't want sympathy, I don't think I deserve it. I hate and am horrible at dealing with people... I am cold or I get too attached. I don't know why, but I hate that life is fine, everything is fine and I still feel like shit constantly which also upsets other people (including my theraphist that thinks I am not really putting in the effort, I can't tell if I am or not) and makes them mad at me, I do think I have the emotional stability of I traumatized 12 year old, crying on the bathroom floor. Inept. fuck. I dream of love of comming home to someone waiting for me, stupid, I hate that I feed these fantasies. Stupid hormones, they will go away in about a week, but until then I will feel lonely. And like I don't belong ( I love this emoticon, idk but I feel like it describes me so well). I am so fucked I cant even be coherent. I want to scream, I so frustrated with myself.
I don't want to try today, I don't want to be positive today, I just want to wallow in my misery.
I don't want to try today, I don't want to be positive today, I just want to wallow in my misery.