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Every time I see my mother drunk, it's like a black cloud, time is closing and a wave of darkness overtakes me, causing me to question my existence in this imbecile world, I think of several ways to end my life, nor at least I cry, I feel my tears falling inside, but I can not express any feelings externally, I want to die, but I want to live, I feel trapped in this world, not knowing what to do.
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neveranyhope, Feline, Jodes and 2 others
I wish I could understand why her condition makes you feel like that, but you described your pain incredibly well, I've had moments feeling like that. Definitely crying spells. Hard to admit for a bloke. My mum was an alcoholic tho.
Every time I see my mother drunk, it's like a black cloud, time is closing and a wave of darkness overtakes me, causing me to question my existence in this imbecile world, I think of several ways to end my life, nor at least I cry, I feel my tears falling inside, but I can not express any feelings externally, I want to die, but I want to live, I feel trapped in this world, not knowing what to do.
I wish I could understand why her condition makes you feel like that, but you described your pain incredibly well, I've had moments feeling like that. Definitely crying spells. Hard to admit for a bloke. My mum was an alcoholic tho.
because I love my mother, and I care about her, I wanted my life to be different
[QUOTE = "Elek, post: 273941, membro: 5422"]
É horrível quando você percebe que não pode realmente confiar em seus pais, mesmo achando que não pode culpá-los.
Thanks for explaining - I think I do understand now. Similar with my father, I hate to say it but he is getting older. I'm older. Time's disappeared. And it's disappearing. I've made nothing of it yet, how can anything come of the rest. I can't handle conscious moments anymore. I'm going to hurt my gf and father so much, I cry every time I think about things I have written or might write in my notes. It's the worst part, writing the notes. I have to do it in stages so I can see what I'm doing lol
Are parents the ultimate betrayal its my father that did it for me . Went around tell people i new private stuff about me . Then ejen je ran out of those he started to make suff up. Never had a ho at him a my mother would get court up in the middle. But i learned sum very important you can never really trust any one especially those that are close to you. Thats way i ended up alone for ten years or so odd thing is i having to live with my parents but dont chat or share much these days. Know going to sound odd but i get the felling that the human race was one BIG mistake . Any how i best stop my ramblings LOL :)
Every time I see my mother drunk, it's like a black cloud, time is closing and a wave of darkness overtakes me, causing me to question my existence in this imbecile world, I think of several ways to end my life, nor at least I cry, I feel my tears falling inside, but I can not express any feelings externally, I want to die, but I want to live, I feel trapped in this world, not knowing what to do.
I'm sorry you have to live like that. This is the exact reason I never had kids - I've struggled with addiction my entire life and would never want to drag a child into it. Of course you question your existence SadGirl, you have to take care of her when it's supposed to be the other way around.
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neveranyhope, Feline, SadGirl and 1 other person
Are parents the ultimate betrayal its my father that did it for me . Went around tell people i new private stuff about me . Then ejen je ran out of those he started to make suff up. Never had a ho at him a my mother would get court up in the middle. But i learned sum very important you can never really trust any one especially those that are close to you. Thats way i ended up alone for ten years or so odd thing is i having to live with my parents but dont chat or share much these days. Know going to sound odd but i get the felling that the human race was one BIG mistake . Any how i best stop my ramblings LOL :)
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