Help I keep trying and failing

[Outsider]

What is wrong with me. Am i stupid, crazy, mentally ill? I try to live normal life, starting good habits, doing therapy, cbt from book, working out, eating healthy, taking care of myself, doing adult stuff. And I ALWAYS fail to keep doing them and abandon them completely. Ending depressed. Or maybe depression ends them? And I try again after some time maybe months, example 6-7 workouts and it's over. Or reading 3-4 first chapters of the book and doing excercises and its over. Sometimes sooner sometimes later. I dont know why. I keep on restarting like an idiot, never learning anything, repeating same things over and over. Hope, work, abandon, repeat.
Why cant i finish stuff or do it consistently? I tried smaller steps and it doesn't work.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I fail a lot too. I would like to say that I embrace it, learn and move on, but it does get very exhausting. It hurts picking myself up knowing that I'll fall back to square one again after a bad load of depressed feels. I do start to think that maybe I'm just too lazy and that living is never going to work because I just don't care enough to do it. The motivation from trying powers me for a while, but it wears off and I go back to not wanting to do anything.

This is about recovery tough so I want to try to share something positive. I try to remember that the times where I'm moving forward are just as real as the times where I'm failing. That progress I made while feeling a little better is very real and a big achievement. It doesn't need to be perfect and you shouldn't feel bad for slipping. If it was as easy as deciding to be successful and moving on nobody would ever struggle with life. Moving through these issues really is hard, and what you're feeling is just proof of how hard it is. Even if it seem hopeless try to reflect on your efforts and remember the things you can do rather than the things you can't.

You can do this bro

 

[timf]

You may wish to consider that if your "failure" leads you into a period from which you try again, that this period must somehow supply the energy to make another attempt. If during this period, you summon only enough energy to make a burst of limited duration, you wish to experiment with making your next burst only half as long. If you take a break at that point, you may be able to summon enough for another short burst.

Rather than driving yourself until depletion, you may find some ability to control your energy level to avoid the "on/off" approach and work out a sustainable level (minus the highs and lows).