I know what to do

[unsmashed]

I took all my life experiences and put them together today. The exit bag has its problems even with nitrogen and every method I've read about has its flaws. I need something guaranteed.

So what I'm proposing is renting a hotel room with a bath tub. I will check in with a back pack containing my heat gun and an extension cord and some computer mother boards.

I will unplug the AC unit, run the extension chord and fall in the tub after lighting some portable propane heaters until I feel dizzy, while being drunk and high on the monthly oxycodone supply my roommate gives me.

I could probably move on and do good in life, I really don't want to end it, but I have a phobia of my Lyme Rage like the rest of us and I'm petrified of winding up in prison after I lose my mind and kill someone, like so many with Lyme Disease have.

This is cheaper than the exit bag and I can do it very soon. I've been waiting 6 months for this solution. I don't want to jump off the bridge here in my city, although it would certainly kill me falling 300 feet head first. I'm scared of heights.

If all else fails, the carbon monoxide will have killed me by the time the hotel figures out what happened. They're just going to reset the breaker after they knock and I don't answer. The AC units and smoke detectors are on different power supplies. Maybe I'll slap a cheap dial timer on the outlet for 15 minutes, so no one knows what happened until the next day.

Working out the details. Wishing everyone the best.

 

[LukaParrot]

I really feel sorry for your condition, never heard about this and after understating, i really hope you find a better way for life or at least find peace.

That's a very unfair crap that exists, dont really know if you have resources available but you could also keep trying treatment and focus your energy in a sport.

I dont know where you live but if you feel like it's time to leave, maybe your case can be considered in assisted euthanasia.

 

[unsmashed]

I really feel sorry for your condition, never heard about this and after understating, i really hope you find a better way for life or at least find peace.

That's a very unfair crap that exists, dont really know if you have resources available but you could also keep trying treatment and focus your energy in a sport.

I dont know where you live but if you feel like it's time to leave, maybe your case can be considered in assisted euthanasia.

I could flap my gums all day about Lyme Disease but no one is listening and no one cares. I used to think I was invincible too. I would never get sick, I was strong and young and beat so many health issues. And then Lyme Happened to me. Now I'm still fairly young, only 33 and I was completely wrong. Chronic Illness can effect young or old.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's so cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing but anyway I wish you the best, I hope you find peace.

 

[Shadows From Hell]

I caught Lyme Disease when I went hiking in 2014. It's a non curable disease unless it's caught early, which I had it for several weeks before I found out.

I haven't experienced Lyme rage(never heard of it), and am unfamiliar with anyone who has Lyme that has killed someone because of it. Not saying your wrong, because you know the saying, "you learn something new everyday".

Luckily for me, even though I will have it until I ctb, I haven't had any of the worsening conditions that comes with it. I found out I had it when I became extremely sick.

Wishing you all the best.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

This Lyme disease is only one out of hundreds of torture traps that can entrap any human any day . I've seen many just on this site wanting to suicide to escape the hell of Lyme disease

 

[lanahelp]

I have Lyme Disease, which went undiagnosed for over 2 years, despite a father and brother as physicians. I have posted on this site about it before... I have staved off plans to commit suicide for 7 years. I want to live; but I cannot live with the severe neuropsychiatric symptoms Lyme Disease and its co-infections have wrought. I suffer from indescribable depersonalization, derealization, visual issues (all looks flat, unreal, 2D, Hollywood movie set), existential terror, and major personality issues. I lost everything over the years, from my home to life savings, career to community, looks to sanity. All of this leads me to suicidal ideations that I can no longer control. Prior, I was a professor, NYC business owner, LOVER of life. This defies words. I'm ready. I have just printed out my letters. I have N. From D. Praying one bottle does the job (the other was found by my ex and thrown away). Hoping for a miracle before I go as planned. Or, perhaps, I'll continue to chicken out.