rotten
Student
- Apr 14, 2021
- 155
I lied to everyone's face each and everyday. When they asked me what career I wanted to get into I told them the same copy and paste story I heard in school. Anytime he asked me if I would want to marry him someday I would giggle and say "of course". When my friend told me they don't want me to go I told them "I'll keep trying". A few acquaintances of mine wanted me to put more effort into getting myself together. I told them I would take baby steps in order to do so. The nurse asked me what I was planning to do if I were allowed to go back home. I said I would get some sleep, but my real plan was to lay low for a while. My mom asked me if I'm still doing bad things and I yelled no like I really meant it. My dad asked me if I was going to start making money and driving soon I meekly replied "yes".
But I never had any real intention of doing any of those things. I never put much thought into my future because I simply don't want one. Why would I want one? So that I could exist among people who refuse to open their eyes and see me in black and white? Everytime they open their mouths I get knots in my stomach from their close minded arguments. I'm just so painfully tired of nobody listening…yet everyone thinks it's perfectly ok to use me. When I was a kid I was convinced I could have anything I wanted and more, I never imagined I would end up at the bottom of the food chain.
I feel awful for lying to the few people I care about and they rightfully have no reason to forgive me. I don't know why I am the way I am but I hope when the time comes they'll understand why I don't want to exist here anymore.
But I never had any real intention of doing any of those things. I never put much thought into my future because I simply don't want one. Why would I want one? So that I could exist among people who refuse to open their eyes and see me in black and white? Everytime they open their mouths I get knots in my stomach from their close minded arguments. I'm just so painfully tired of nobody listening…yet everyone thinks it's perfectly ok to use me. When I was a kid I was convinced I could have anything I wanted and more, I never imagined I would end up at the bottom of the food chain.
I feel awful for lying to the few people I care about and they rightfully have no reason to forgive me. I don't know why I am the way I am but I hope when the time comes they'll understand why I don't want to exist here anymore.
