Method I made a thread about helping me choose but nobody responded. So I'm even more inclined now to just try to OD on opioids&benzos

[donttalktome]

I dont even know a place where i can be left alone but im sure i can find some, can go in the middle of the night don't care.
i take 10 xans a day and i'm going to get a grand mal seizure since i can't afford the addiction, soon. the seizure guarantees brain damage but not death.
my body is so weak im almost already dead, but i can get a script for oxy 80s or morphine or whatever. i'm thinking of spending my last money on that, going somewhere secluded and taking as much of both those drugs as possible.
i could add alcohol but i never drink alcohol in my life.
Opioid ODs lack protocols I understand that. I am just guessing based on the state of my body. I know i'm literally gonna collapse and it's possible i'll die from a single oxy pill. And if i manage to eat a whole pack and nobody comes to rescue me, i feel like my odds are pretty darn high. I can take 20 xans to mix that for a maximum overdose.
But I don't know how viable this idea is.
My only alternative is train via guillotine or just jumping in front of it. Both are a coin toss. I don't have time or possibility for other methods and I considered every option.

 

[rozeske]

Can't really suggested a method for you but if a method sounds risky and pretty much a coin toss, it's worth considering what the flip side is and if it's worth the risk.

 

[Richard Langford]

Wish I could get a prescription for Morphine.

 

[SomePeacePlease]

Trust me, don't do it. I'm prescribed 450mg Tramadol, 45mg Valium and 3600mg Gabapentin daily. Even if I took entire pack of all of them, it's not a guaranteed death. I've even had Oxy and Xanax, along with the Gabapentin. Same deal. Yeah, some of it is down to my high tolerance, because of a chronic back pain after 20 ECT(Electroshock treatments), but I've tried taking doses that easily should have taken me out, but you are more likely to mess up your organs than ctb.

 

[dontwakemeup]

If I knew a great method then I wouldn't be here. I can't tell you if your method is guaranteed, I'm not sure. I just hope that you get the results that you are looking for.

Wish I could get a prescription for Morphine.

I would drink the whole bottle immediately!

 

[escape_from_hell]

Sad to hear you are in this position.
I guess all the anti-choicers reading this thread probably get a huge grin and boner when they read about people trapped like this struggling to find a way to simply not be.

On the other hand, access to opioids + benzos is not the worst situation.
My order of operations is: travel for N, opioid+benzo+alcohol, anesthetics(ket/dxm/alcohol/other) + jumping (pass out and fall to die), and if all else fails shotgun.

Your tolerance to benzos may be an issue, OR an asset. It may make you less likely to throw up and help you get down enough benzos with the opioids and alcohol to get you there. No alcohol tolerance may help you take 1-2 shots to get a big effect and work with the opioid+benzo, and pre-game against survival instinct.

But unfortunately you will need to work up a few sober moments to really sit down and assess the feasibility. Look at how much of each substance you can realistically get and do some calculations (and consider your tolerance) to see if it is indeed likely or a total moonshot. And of course having a good stretch of alone time to make sure no hero arrives to try and force you to stay in hell.

Whatever happens, best wishes and peace.

 

[SomePeacePlease]

Sad to hear you are in this position.
I guess all the anti-choicers reading this thread probably get a huge grin and boner when they read about people trapped like this struggling to find a way to simply not be.

I can assure you in not saying what I did with a grin if that's what you meant.
Most of us are in the situation of wanting to exit this world, in one way or another. I simply don't want someone to attempt to ctb "just" by using benzo+opiates. It's risky, and may cause you to live in even more of a hell. Read up on the amount of benzo needed to kill you. It's an insane amount. Combining it with a morphine substance will increase chance of supressed respiration, but is in no way a guarantee to die by itself. You mention it as a combination with alcohol and jumping, which completely changes the method, but I just wanted to comment on the post, explaining my opinion from 20 years experience in and out of wards, and in psychiatry.

I'm sorry if it came across as something else.

Edit: Messed up the quoting, but the last one is my response. I'm sorry for terrible format.

 

[escape_from_hell]

Edit: Messed up the quoting, but the last one is my response. I'm sorry for terrible format.

No worries, I was not accusing you of being anti-choicer. I was referring to all the creepy scum that read this site and connivingly come up with ways to torture us more or just get off on seeing our pain or try and censor.
I thought you were offering your personal experience as helpful info. And I agree, I advised they should sit down and look at how realistic it actually is before trying anything.

I do wonder how opioid + benzo is horrible for CTB but at the same time we have a media-hyped overdose death problem.
I do see tons of people on the streets so I know that part is real. Are they not actually dying? Are many cases of people being passed out just over-dramatized? One incentive I could see if emergency services trying to scoop up every napping person on the street to try to rack up huge medical bills they know cannot be paid by the person and then sticking the taxpayer with the bill.

 

[Dai]

Wish I could get a prescription for Morphine.

Not sure about how legit, but just read a thread earlier about not needing a prescription in a Vietnam pharmacy to get xanax, ritalin, and morphine, if that helps

Tempted to travel to a developing country and go out in a blaze.

About a year ago, I was in Vietnam as an English teacher, and found myself in this backpacker quarter. The place was crazy- I walked into a pharmacy to get my anti-anxiety meds, and not only did I not need a prescription, the pharmacist tried to sell me xanax, ritalin, and morphine. I was...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[Richard Langford]

Not sure about how legit, but just read a thread earlier about not needing a prescription in a Vietnam pharmacy to get xanax, ritalin, and morphine, if that helps

Tempted to travel to a developing country and go out in a blaze.

About a year ago, I was in Vietnam as an English teacher, and found myself in this backpacker quarter. The place was crazy- I walked into a pharmacy to get my anti-anxiety meds, and not only did I not need a prescription, the pharmacist tried to sell me xanax, ritalin, and morphine. I was...

sanctioned-suicide.net

I know. And thank you for the thought. It probably is credible. I'm sure though I personally wouldn't want to pass in some 3rd World hotel. Own house, own bed ideally for me.

 

[donttalktome]

Oh, i forgot to mention i have 0 tolerance to opioids...i almost never in my life even took NSAIDs or whatever otc pain meds are called...so absolutely 0 tolerance for anything opioid-like, not even once stuff like tramadol in my life. Also I do have pregabalin, baclofen and sirdalud too but i'm not sure if that will be of any use, it will extrapolate the sedative effects but don't know much more. So I have no experience with this kinda stuff and I can't really test it, because my test will end up with bad consequences. Not like those methods can be tested in the first place. I cannot afford to get locked up in the local nuthouse at all costs, due to various irrelevant reasons i won't mention. It will truly be over for me if i end up there and my chance will be gone. Overall i have severe weight loss like cancer patients and my heart generally doesn't seem to work correctly, it feels like it needs just a little push to die completely. One thing worth considering is that i have an undiagnosed stomach issues, which might affect absorption and mess up this idea I suppose. I only know I have NAFLD, but im 99% sure i also have some undiagnosed issue deeper inside my stomach.

 

[SomePeacePlease]

No worries, I was not accusing you of being anti-choicer. I was referring to all the creepy scum that read this site and connivingly come up with ways to torture us more or just get off on seeing our pain or try and censor.
I thought you were offering your personal experience as helpful info. And I agree, I advised they should sit down and look at how realistic it actually is before trying anything.

I do wonder how opioid + benzo is horrible for CTB but at the same time we have a media-hyped overdose death problem.
I do see tons of people on the streets so I know that part is real. Are they not actually dying? Are many cases of people being passed out just over-dramatized? One incentive I could see if emergency services trying to scoop up every napping person on the street to try to rack up huge medical bills they know cannot be paid by the person and then sticking the taxpayer with the bill.

I agree with you. As for the streets, it's a different story, I believe. Unless people here go to the streets to get their drugs, they should be getting fairly "clean" opioids and benzo. The stuff you see on TV is a clusterfuck of not only fentanyl, but also mixed in tranquilizers. There hasn't been clean drugs on the streets for years now. You can overdose on heroine obviously, I'm not denying that. I watched some documentaries from Kensington Street in Philadelphia(?), and the stuff the take and OD on is vile, and also lethal to withdraw from. Personally, I've never gone to the streets for drugs, just my doctor, but Oxy gave the exact same molecular structure as heroine, but majority of the Oxy you get prescribed has a "safety mechanism" with a minor addition of Naloxone in them, can only be taken orally to have effect etc.

If I were to try and OD from my Valium(500mg boxes), Tramadol(100 x packs of 150mg), and gabapentin(100 x 800mg), I would not ctb, and more likely to get serotonergic syndrome from the Tramadol. If you have pure morphine, it's a different story, but I really advise caution. I was on Oxy as well, as I mentioned, and it's the same story.

I believe OD on these kinds of medications is on the "No-go ways to ctb" here on this site. If you use it as a way of numbing yourself to go jump, or any other method, that's a different story ofcourse.

I think we're on the same page I just don't want anyone to cause themself additional pain upon trying this method.

 

[Richard Langford]

I agree with you. As for the streets, it's a different story, I believe. Unless people here go to the streets to get their drugs, they should be getting fairly "clean" opioids and benzo. The stuff you see on TV is a clusterfuck of not only fentanyl, but also mixed in tranquilizers. I watched some documentaries from Kensington Street in Philadelphia(?), and the stuff the take and OD on is vile, and also lethal to withdraw from.

If I were to try and OD from my Valium(500mg boxes), Tramadol(100 x packs of 150mg), and gabapentin(100 x 800mg), I would not ctb, and more likely to get serotonergic syndrome from the Tramadol. If you have pure morphine, it's a different story, but I really advise caution. I was on Oxy as well, as I mentioned, and it's the same story.

I believe OD on these kinds of medications is on the "No-go ways to ctb" here on this site. If you use it as a way of numbing yourself to go jump, or any other method, that's a different story ofcourse.

I think we're on the same page

People seemingly do OD on Tramadol. It isn't unknown and is reported. In terms of Morhpine I agree, but it's very difficult to get.

 

[escape_from_hell]

I believe OD on these kinds of medications is on the "No-go ways to ctb" here on this site. If you use it as a way of numbing yourself to go jump, or any other method, that's a different story ofcourse.

The Matthew Perry. Use substance(s) to basically put yourself in anesthetic induced coma, and leave your body to the doctors of death like gravity, water, smoke, train, etc. Pray to never wake up.

Aside from poor CTB potential on their own, do you think your medications are capable of that?