Story I might try to ask for help this weekend.

[Green Destiny]

My Birthday's on sunday and it'll just be me and my mom (i'm pretty sure anyway) and I might use it to get my mom to listen to what I have to say about needing help. Problem is that whenever I try to work up the courage the words die in my throat before I say anything, it's deeply psychological. If i'm really going to have to drag myself through another 20 to 30 years of existence then I want some of that time to be enjoyable for me. Plus even if I wanted to checkout right now I have no means to carry it out, might as well try this first. The thought of doing this fills me with such dread though, and it wouldn't surprise me if I backed out like the coward I am. My life revolves around my mom's life because that's how it's turned out, and it's utterly pathetic. Before Covid hit and shut everything down I barely did anything besides go to my part time job and sleep, I have one good friend but I haven't hung out with him for years because my mom doesn't want me to, which has some merit because he's a hard drinker but that's beside the point. I have no social life. She's shut me away from the world and it's eaten me alive for 8 years now. The end all be all is that I need actual help, and if I don't get it the world will crush me at the right moment before I even realize it.

 

[Weather]

I'm proud of you for even wanting to get help. I know it's hard. Be kind to yourself and do your best.

Happy (early) birthday. I wish you courage.

 

[Ghost2211]

Happy early birthday, and I hope the talk goes well. If you can't find the words you want to say you could write her a letter and let her read them instead. Sometimes people are better listeners when they're reading as well.

 

[Green Destiny]

Happy early birthday, and I hope the talk goes well. If you can't find the words you want to say you could write her a letter and let her read them instead. Sometimes people are better listeners when they're reading as well.

I might just do that. Better than trying to force the words out.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I'm so proud of you,wanting to get out of this situation and get help! It's not easy, but try to stick to your decision. You have every right to live your own life and be happy

 

[AutoTap]

I wish you the best on your recovery journey! Don't be afraid to switch therapists if the first one isn't right for you.

 

[muffin222]

I'm proud of you for deciding to seek help and embrace recovery The road to recovery is long, slow, and winding, but I believe you can find the peace and the support you seek
I wish you the very best, and I sincerely hope that things begin to brighten for you very soon!

 

[Green Destiny]

Small update but I was able to talk to my mom about trying to find a therapist and she was actually supportive about it. Now there's the matter of if this actually develops into something good for me. Plus it'll take time because of insurance and the pandemic.