• If you haven't yet, we highly encourage you to check out our Recovery Resources thread!
  • Hey Guest,

    As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. The UK and OFCOM has singled out this community and have been focusing its censorship efforts here. It takes a good amount of resources to maintain the infrastructure for our community and to resist this censorship. We would appreciate any and all donations.

    Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt

    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9

    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8

  • Security update: At around 2:28AM EST, the site was labeled as malicious by Google erroneously, causing users to get a "Dangerous site" warning in most browsers. It appears that this was done by mistake and has been reversed by Google. It may take a few hours for you to stop seeing those warnings.

    If you're still getting these warnings, please let a member of staff know.
dmdmdm

dmdmdm

Student
Sep 20, 2023
132
First of all: I've got constant mood swings. From a serious attempt on thursday and practising it a few hours ago to now wanting to recover. What I say now and how I act/behave might be different to how I'm going to behave any other time. In the following I'll briefly describe myself and my situation.

English is not my mother tongue.

I'm 18 years old, from Germany, and I've been severely depressed for about 3 months now after my ex girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me. I've been fantasizing about suicide for way longer than that, but never seriously considered it the same way as I do right now.

The fact and the way things ended with her is what got me here. Not only did I lose my girlfriend, the person that I thought I was gonna marry, but also my best and only friend. I still love her but she doesn't want anything to do with me at all.

Right now I want to recover, but I don't really know how. I know that having a girl like her in my life would help me massively but I seriously don't see anyone being able to love me for the way I am. One of the reasons our relationship fell apart were my mental problems, that, at that time, I did not acknowledge nor even thought were real. (Coping mechanism???). That alone would be too much for anyone to handle, but other than that I'm also just weird. I don't like going out, I don't like socializing. All I need is that one person and other than that I could care less about people. Sorry for the unnecessarily long text, I would have liked to add so much more but I don't think anyone would've cared.

Now to the evaluation part:

Do you think I'll be able to pull it off? I'm only 18 years old as mentioned, so technically I've got plenty of time in comparison to others, technically. What I just don't get is how and where I should start recovering. I've got my first professional therapist appointment in two days, even though I doubt that's going to help. Are there people out there, my age, that would want to be together, with the intent of staying together forever, with a severely suicidal person like me? Looking around the people my age, everyone just seems so, so different...

I feel like an idiot typing this, what's even the point? I'm not even able to clearly state everything that I would like to, I'm really dumb.

Whatever, thanks for reading
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Praestat_Mori
carac

carac

Banned
May 27, 2023
1,117
I won't lie to you this sort of stuff can be really painful and take a long time to get over. My main advice to you would be stop comparing yourself to others, you are you and nobody else so don't worry anout being different. Don't worry about acheiving things in a certain time period, People do things at different times, I am 46, never had a proper girlfriend due to various reasons but now maybe I am ready to start looking, maybe I'm not, maybe I will find someone when I'm 60!

385901762 891607985871750 1627113817253349492 n
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Praestat_Mori and dmdmdm

Similar threads

philia
Replies
6
Views
171
Recovery
celestialstarzz
celestialstarzz
aikoelis6
Replies
6
Views
237
Suicide Discussion
aikoelis6
aikoelis6
BlueButterfly111
Replies
10
Views
301
Suicide Discussion
FuneralCry
FuneralCry
PlutonianRooster
Venting The Wall
Replies
2
Views
168
Recovery
PlutonianRooster
PlutonianRooster