Help I need to go to the eye doctor but I am scared...

[cetacea]

This is silly but it is really causing a lot of problems and making me so anxious I think of CTB. Sometimes the anxiety lasts all day.

Between 16-20 years old I misused my contact lenses which I am very ashamed of. It boiled down to wearing them too often, usually to sleep. I was not very educated on what the risks were when I got them. I totally recognize this is my fault but I am still scared of the eye doctor being super angry with me. Especially because I have two grey spots in my left eye I didn't notice before. It could be nothing, or it could be damage from the misuse, or it could be damage completely unrelated to it. They don't hurt at all or feel weird or cause any vision problems so I really have no idea.

I guess I am asking how do I just learn to accept and be ok with whatever happens? If the doctor gets a bit frustrated and won't write me a new prescription, I want to be able to take it in stride. If the doctor will fulfill it but scolds me a bit I want to be able to handle it as well. I also want to be able to handle if the spots in my eye turn out to be something more serious. I just feel severely bad when I am not perfect, my lover says I hold myself to the standard of a perfect person that doesn't exist and he's right. It's super exhausting.

 

[MindFrog]

Can your lover accompany you through out your check up? The emotional support can atleast help lessen your anxiety.

As for you dreading your doctor's opinion, it's normal to feel nervous. Will this your first eye appointment? Maybe you could tell them that first.

Saying outright that you have bad anxiety to them might help lessen the blow but it depends on the doctor.

I hope your appointment goes well. Goodluck.

 

[winamp]

Especially because I have two grey spots in my left eye I didn't notice before.

I am not an Optometrist this sounds like Scleral Melanocytosis or Ocular Melanosis

I also have a very faint grey spot on one of my eyes but it doesn't effect my vision or health

"Scleral melanocytosis is a common pediatric condition that becomes prominent with increasing age and usually is bilateral."

"Ocular melanosis is a disease that causes blue, brown or gray discoloration around the iris or on the white of the eye (sclera). It can also cause the iris or the retina to appear darker. It is almost always unilateral (affecting one eye). The condition is typically congenital, meaning it is present from birth. It is also known as ocular melanocytosis."

"Ocular melanosis is benign (not harmful) but in rare cases, it can become cancerous."

I hope this information can put you at ease and I hope the appointment goes well

 

[cetacea]

I am not an Optometrist this sounds like Scleral Melanocytosis or Ocular Melanosis

I also have a very faint grey spot on one of my eyes but it doesn't effect my vision or health

"Scleral melanocytosis is a common pediatric condition that becomes prominent with increasing age and usually is bilateral."

"Ocular melanosis is a disease that causes blue, brown or gray discoloration around the iris or on the white of the eye (sclera). It can also cause the iris or the retina to appear darker. It is almost always unilateral (affecting one eye). The condition is typically congenital, meaning it is present from birth. It is also known as ocular melanocytosis."

"Ocular melanosis is benign (not harmful) but in rare cases, it can become cancerous."

I hope this information can put you at ease and I hope the appointment goes well

Oh wow... this does make me feel a lot better. The spots are indeed on my sclera and havent affected my vision at all. I cant be certain until I actually go but it does seem to be more likely that its something benign as opposed to a sign I have some infection...

I think it is funny how nonsensical my worry is, because if I did develop problems from contact lens misuse, it would be on my cornea, not weird grey spots on my sclera.

Thank you for informing me of this. I think I can go in feeling a lot less anxious and terrible now :-)

Can your lover accompany you through out your check up? The emotional support can atleast help lessen your anxiety.

As for you dreading your doctor's opinion, it's normal to feel nervous. Will this your first eye appointment? Maybe you could tell them that first.

Saying outright that you have bad anxiety to them might help lessen the blow but it depends on the doctor.

I hope your appointment goes well. Goodluck.

My lover can't accompany me unfortunately. My mother could but I'd feel a bit embarrassed. I think I can do it by myself. I'll tell them about the anxiety if it comes to it. Thank you for the good luck !!

 

[cetacea]

Update, I went to eye doctor. Nothing was wrong with my eyes! There was no need to be scared. I told the doctor my fear and he was very kind and understanding.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Update, I went to eye doctor. Nothing was wrong with my eyes! There was no need to be scared. I told the doctor my fear and he was very kind and understanding.

Hopefully you can use this past experience to fight future anxiety.

 

[Cherry Crumpet]

I didn't go to the dentist for 4 years. I was terrified that they'd shame the hell out of me. They were extrememly understanding and very kind. I now go on a regular basis again. I saw your post that the eye doc was kind and understanding. Doctors worth their salt should know that emotional distress can play a huge part in the upkeep of our bodies. They should never shame someone because they lapsed in taking care of themselves.

 

[cetacea]

Hopefully you can use this past experience to fight future anxiety.

Definitely. It's easy for me to get into the mindset of "wow, there's gonna be something wrong and they'll berate me for it" but a doctor has no reason or incentive to do that, even if someone was being ridiculous.
He didn't even care I hadn't had an exam in 3 years, he just said "it happens, that's fine!"

I didn't go to the dentist for 4 years. I was terrified that they'd shame the hell out of me. They were extremely understanding and very kind. I now go on a regular basis again. I saw your post that the eye doc was kind and understanding. Doctors worth their salt should know that emotional distress can play a huge part in the upkeep of our bodies. They should never shame someone because they lapsed in taking care of themselves.

I'm glad you could have a positive experience too. When you haven't been to a checkup or doctor in a while, it's easy to feel worried. The only real way to ease the fears is to go.

 

[Linda]

This is silly but it is really causing a lot of problems and making me so anxious I think of CTB. Sometimes the anxiety lasts all day.

Between 16-20 years old I misused my contact lenses which I am very ashamed of. It boiled down to wearing them too often, usually to sleep. I was not very educated on what the risks were when I got them. I totally recognize this is my fault but I am still scared of the eye doctor being super angry with me. Especially because I have two grey spots in my left eye I didn't notice before. It could be nothing, or it could be damage from the misuse, or it could be damage completely unrelated to it. They don't hurt at all or feel weird or cause any vision problems so I really have no idea.

I guess I am asking how do I just learn to accept and be ok with whatever happens? If the doctor gets a bit frustrated and won't write me a new prescription, I want to be able to take it in stride. If the doctor will fulfill it but scolds me a bit I want to be able to handle it as well. I also want to be able to handle if the spots in my eye turn out to be something more serious. I just feel severely bad when I am not perfect, my lover says I hold myself to the standard of a perfect person that doesn't exist and he's right. It's super exhausting.

Go see the doctor. You may have some minor problem that can easily be fixed but which might get worse if you leave it too long.
Doctors know that people do foolish things. They have seen it all before.
If you really feel that you want to be in charge, not the doctor, then pay to see a doctor privately. Hard cash changes the nature of the relationship completely.

 

[cetacea]

Go see the doctor. You may have some minor problem that can easily be fixed but which might get worse if you leave it too long.
Doctors know that people do foolish things. They have seen it all before.
If you really feel that you want to be in charge, not the doctor, then pay to see a doctor privately. Hard cash changes the nature of the relationship completely.

No worries, I went! I turned out completely fine and had nothing to worry about. I hadn't done any damage to my eyes at all. Eyes are very resilient parts of the body so I suppose it makes sense.

And you're right they've seen it all before. Anything I do (or don't do) is almost definitely gonna pale in comparison to what other people do. My optometrist had asked if I smoke, drink, or do drugs and then started talking about how some patients come in saying they do crack or meth. At most I drink or take edibles and apparently due to the legality of it in my area the latter isn't considered "doing drugs".

I'm just glad to feel certain I'm OK now. The optometrist didn't even care that I hadn't been there in 3 years. He just said "It's fine, it happens!"