Venting I need to kill myself

[sillyprincessmeow]

i am going through too much pain
He is torturing me
For my final act of love
Self and global
Im set in finding a way to ctb
I dont care of the permanence anymore
Im a bad girl like he says
Im gonna do whatever it takes to be good
If you knew the vile things hes saying to me as i type this
I need a way out.
Now.

 

[Manfrotto99]

I honestly know it dosen't help - but I bet anything he is the vile one full of shit that he is projecting on to you, because your are really a trusting person with a good heart that he wants to destroy in order to make him feel good about his disgusting self :(

 

[sillyprincessmeow]

I honestly know it dosen't help - but I bet anything he is the vile one full of shit that he is projecting on to you, because your are really a trusting person with a good heart that he wants to destroy in order to make him feel good about his disgusting self :(

no im not
im horrible
i caused everything
i wanna kill myself so bad

 

[Manfrotto99]

I just recently broke up with someone myself after 5 years - someone I put a lot of trust in, someone who was my only way out of the shit hole I'm in. He just cut me of, left, shamed and blamed me for everything when I needed him most.

Some moments I do believe him, because its easier to agree with him and think it's all my fault than to acknowledge that he really didn't care at all and could just leave like he did, when he could of helped me and when I was most needed it. He just turned into another abuser. I cannot understand this, so it is easier for me to make sense of if it by agreeing with him and blaming myself.

It wasn't so much that he refused to help when he could. That was not the point, it was the cruel and gutless way he turned his back on me when I needed a friend. I thought he had my back as I had his. Truth is he was weakless, gutless, selfish and greedy. Not saying I was blameless by any means, but a relationship is made up off two people that both contribute.

If I was to blame for everything as he accused me of, then that would mean I must of had a tremendous lot of power in the relationship - enough to change things, yet he was the one pulling the strings and ended it under his own conditions - not mine :(

 

[Wolf Girl]

You posted that your bf left you. Is this the same guy? Whoever this guy is, he sounds like trash. Ghosting is incredibly juvenile, cruel, and devastating to the person who gets ghosted.

I'm so sorry you're going through this and I understand your feelings, but you must get away from this person. You are not bad. You do not deserve to die.