I read many posts where people say they want to CTB because they are ugly and to be loved is, then, impossible. Wrong !

[babouflo201223]

I read many posts where people say they want to CTB because they are too ugly to be loved... Sorry, but it's wrong. You can be ugly and find love and be loved. For my part, beauty/uglyness are not important, they just mean nothing. I'm interested in what there is into the brain, a people with knowledges is attractive when it's a sensitive people. And I'm sure I'm not the one and only thinking and feeling like that. The problem is maybe that ugly people would like to be loved for the beauty they don't have, and they forget everything else. It's of course their choice and their right, but everybody does not run after the beauty. It's the false thing that medias and society want you believe. Beauty is quickly exhausting for me. Knowledges and sensitiveness are not. They ALWAYS remain interesting, very interesting and attractive.

 

[alltoomuch2]

I read many posts where people say they want to CTB because they are too ugly to be loved... Sorry, but it's wrong. You can be ugly and find love and be loved. For my part, beauty/uglyness are not important, they just mean nothing. I'm interested in what there is into the brain, a people with knowledges is attractive when it's a sensitive people. And I'm sure I'm not the one and only thinking and feeling like that. The problem is maybe that ugly people would like to be loved for the beauty they don't have, and they forget everything else. It's of course their choice and their right, but everybody does not run after the beauty. It's the false thing that medias and society want you believe. Beauty is quickly exhausting for me. Knowledges and sensitiveness are not. They ALWAYS remain interesting, very interesting and attractive.

Not for me. Not only am I really ugly but the hopelessness shows and my eyes are dead. It's not a good look.

 

[divinemistress36]

Being attractive can help bring in lovers but it doesnt make them stay. People tend to think they are uglier than they really are

 

[CantDoIt]

Some of us are ugly and have partners and still want to ctb. All the fat and collagen iny face is gone I look unhealthier than a lot of elderly people.

 

[Namelesa]

While this can be some what true, being lower on the "society's attractiveness scale" can make it it much more difficult. What people are going to see first from you is not your personality or how you think or what you do but how you look. This can lead people to just not want to start an interaction with you first and judge you already before they even know you.

While I am someone that still does this to a degree, what I find attractive is much different to what would be high on the "society's attractiveness scale". My romantic partners have been a "non passing" trans girl with lots of acne on her face and the other being an androgynous emo trans boy with sh scars but I personally find these people to be beautiful and I wouldn't change a thing about them. The problem with these relationships was me and other person in how we behaved, not how we looked.

So if you think you are ugly there is going to be a person that finds you attractive but its just going to be so much harder to find that person and its going to be harder for them to stay with you if there is problems in the relationship or if your personalities don't mesh well.

 

[MelecheshEnjoyer]

The fact that I am ugly and no one will ever love me at this point has become a minor reason as to why Im ending my life, maybe a couple years ago it couldve been the major/main reason, but not anymore.

 

[babouflo201223]

Pas pour moi. Non seulement je suis vraiment moche, mais le désespoir se voit et mes yeux sont morts. Ce n'est pas une bonne image.

Even that would't be a reason for me to not love you, sorry, if you have knowledges and are sensitive (and sensitive, you are, because you feel despair).

 

[greebo6]

Nice in theory but the real world doesn't work like that. There has to be a mutual degree of physical attraction between two people. Impossible if you are too ugly.

 

[F@#$]

Love is a lie

 

[divinemistress36]

Love is a lie

I agree its mostly just hormones and neurotransmitters

 

[babouflo201223]

Même si cela peut être vrai dans une certaine mesure, le fait d'être plus bas sur « l'échelle d'attractivité de la société » peut rendre la tâche beaucoup plus difficile. Ce que les gens verront en premier chez vous n'est pas votre personnalité, ni votre façon de penser ou ce que vous faites, mais votre apparence. Cela peut amener les gens à ne pas vouloir interagir avec vous en premier et à vous juger avant même de vous connaître.

Même si je suis quelqu'un qui fait encore cela dans une certaine mesure, ce que je trouve attirant est très différent de ce qui serait en haut de l'échelle d'attractivité de la société. Mes partenaires amoureux étaient une fille transgenre « non acceptable » avec beaucoup d'acné sur le visage et l'autre était un garçon transgenre emo androgyne avec des cicatrices de sh, mais je trouve personnellement ces personnes belles et je ne changerais rien à leur sujet . Le problème dans ces relations était moi et l'autre personne dans notre comportement, pas dans notre apparence.

Donc, si vous pensez que vous êtes moche, il y aura une personne qui vous trouvera attirant, mais ce sera beaucoup plus difficile de trouver cette personne et ce sera plus difficile pour elle de rester avec vous s'il ya des problèmes dans la relation ou si vos personnalités ne

C'est sympa en théorie, mais le monde réel ne fonctionne pas comme ça. Il faut qu'il y ait un degré d'attirance physique réciproque entre deux personnes. Impossible si vous êtes trop moche.

Sorry, I don't work like that. But maybe I'm not in real world, it's possible.

 

[Namelesa]

I agree its mostly just hormones and neurotransmitters

Why does it being hormones and neurotransmitters mean its a lie?

 

[divinemistress36]

Why does it being hormones and neurotransmitters mean its a lie?

Not a lie but I think a lot of times its just lust as a way to get you to procreate

 

[babouflo201223]

L'amour est un mensonge

It's possible. But everything is maybe a lie or an illusion. And in that case, beauty could be one too, uglyness too, the world, life, words here, etc.

 

[Namelesa]

Not a lie but I think a lot of times its just lust as a way to get you to procreate

It can definitely be that sometimes, I do believe love can exist outside of that. I feel like i have genuinely cared about and loved people without wanting any sexual from them or the want for procreation (the latter I have no interest in doing as I am an antinatalist and don't want children). Also asexual people exist so love can exist without lust.

 

[babouflo201223]

Ce n'est pas un mensonge, mais je pense que bien souvent, c'est juste la luxe comme moyen de

Il se peut que parfois, je crois que l'amour peut exister en dehors de cela. J'ai l'impression de m'être vraiment souciée des gens et de les avoir aimés sans vouloir de relations sexuelles de leur part ni de procréation (ce dernier point ne m'intéresse pas car je suis antinataliste et je ne veux pas d' enfants). De plus, les personnes asexuelles existent, donc l'amour peut exister sans désir.

Il se peut que parfois, je croie que l'amour peut exister en dehors de cela. J'ai l'impression de m'être vraiment souciée des gens et de les avoir aimés sans vouloir de relations sexuelles de leur part ni de procréation (ce dernier point ne m'intéresse pas car je suis antinataliste et je ne veux pas d'enfants). De plus, les personnes asexuelles existent, donc l'amour peut exister sans désir.

Exactement ! Ma femme et moi, puis ma copine et moi, étions antinatalistes et ne voulions pas d'enfants. Deux longues relations pleines d'amour mais surtout sans sexe car nous étions assez asexuels ; maintenant je suis sûr d'être 100% asexuel et ça ne veut pas dire que je me sens incapable d'aimer. Et la beauté et la laideur ne signifient rien à mes yeux, alors que la connaissance et la sensibilité (et bien sûr d'autres choses) pourraient me faire tomber amoureux vraiment.

I agree its mostly just hormones and neurotransmitters

Hormones and neurotransmitters, of course you're completely right. It's like that about everything we do, etc. Even people in despair who say "I'm ugly and it's why I will never be loved" talk and think through their neurotransmitters.

 

[divinemistress36]

Exactement ! Ma femme et moi, puis ma copine et moi, étions antinatalistes et ne voulions pas d'enfants. Deux longues relations pleines d'amour mais surtout sans sexe car nous étions assez asexuels ; maintenant je suis sûr d'être 100% asexuel et ça ne veut pas dire que je me sens incapable d'aimer. Et la beauté et la laideur ne signifient rien à mes yeux, alors que la connaissance et la sensibilité (et bien sûr d'autres choses) pourraient me faire tomber amoureux vraiment.

Hormones and neurotransmitters, of course you're completely right. It's like that about everything we do, etc. Even people in despair who say "I'm ugly and it's why I will never be loved" talk and think through their neurotransmitters.

The brain is the root of all problems

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Nice in theory but the real world doesn't work like that. There has to be a mutual degree of physical attraction between two people. Impossible if you are too ugly.

Not impossible because demisexuals exist, but extremely fucking unlikely. Demisexuals are a very small minority in the dating world.

 

[gogoprince]

It's possible. But everything is maybe a lie or an illusion. And in that case, beauty could be one too, uglyness too, the world, life, words here, etc.

I love this

 

[needthebus]

I read many posts where people say they want to CTB because they are too ugly to be loved... Sorry, but it's wrong. You can be ugly and find love and be loved. For my part, beauty/uglyness are not important, they just mean nothing. I'm interested in what there is into the brain, a people with knowledges is attractive when it's a sensitive people. And I'm sure I'm not the one and only thinking and feeling like that. The problem is maybe that ugly people would like to be loved for the beauty they don't have, and they forget everything else. It's of course their choice and their right, but everybody does not run after the beauty. It's the false thing that medias and society want you believe. Beauty is quickly exhausting for me. Knowledges and sensitiveness are not. They ALWAYS remain interesting, very interesting and attractive.

i think this is objectively not realistic and trivializes the hardships ugly people endure

it's not like ugly people don't try before they gove up

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Not a lie but I think a lot of times its just lust as a way to get you to procreate

I'm pretty sure that lust and love are controlled by different regions of the brain. While it wouldn't surprise me if there was a bit of overlap between the two, especially since it isn't uncommon for those two feelings to coincide with each other, I feel like trying to make it out as just being "lust" is likely very inaccurate.

It's late, so I don't feel like doing a bunch of in-depth research into this, but here is a quick little article that covers a bit about the neurobiological differences between love and lust:

Scientists believe that different chemicals control these categories in your brain. Testosterone, estrogen, dopamine, and norepinephrine control lust and attraction, while oxytocin, vasopressin, dopamine, and serotonin control the feeling of love.

(We also had some discussions on oxytocin and vasopressin and the role they play in pair-bonding in both my social psychology and evolutionary biology classes.)

On a more personal level, I can say that from experience, the two don't feel the same. When I feel love towards my boyfriend, it goes beyond simple lust. I find myself yearning to cuddle with him, feeling happy when I video call him and getting to hear his laugh and see his simile, feeling a sense of deep concern over him, etc. While sometimes those feelings may overlap with feelings of lust, they definitely go beyond that and are distinct overall.