KillingPain267
Enlightened
- Apr 15, 2024
- 1,587
I had my first ctb thoughts when I was 14 and tried putting a knife to my throat but couldn't do anything. But then I still had hope for the future for things to get better. I kept the hope for years. Well, things did slowly, and with some effort, get better for 8 years. But then it all deteriorated and crashed and burned HARD and I have no more energy or hope to try again. Trying again would make me paranoid and be detrimental to innocent people. Unfortunately, for the prolifers who tell lies such that "things get better", I am now much smarter than my 14 year old self and I now know about SN and many other non-crude methods because things can get MUCH WORSE.