I recently discussed suicide IRL and still no one has connected the dots

[Sakura.]

Recently in class, we were supposed to give a presentation on any topic of our choice. I don't have any passions or interests, so since I couldn't come up with any ideas in the months leading up to the presentation, I had to choose the only topic I knew about, which is suicide.

If choosing such a topic wasn't suspicious enough, I included a series of theses in my presentation that completely deviated from the common views of society on suicide and what pro-life psychologists write about the topic in their scientific work.

I said, among other things, that the tragedy is not suicide itself, but what drives a given person to commit suicide. And that, therefore, suicides should not be prevented for the sake of prevention - only to then leave such a person without help, alone with their tragedies and problems, or lock them up in a psychiatric facility.

II discussed (again - completely differently from common views or the views of pro-life psychologists) the characteristics of suicidal tendencies, the individuals experiencing them, and their attitudes and behaviors, which may (intentionally or unintentionally) signal to others that they are experiencing such problems. All this information related directly to me!

Finally, I raised the thesis that suicides should not always be prevented and that they can be rational. That if the decision to commit suicide is mature, well-thought-out, considered for an appropriate amount of time...
...and if a given person meets certain conditions - that his or her life is suffering, not necessarily due to, for example, a fatal disease or chronic pain, but also for other reasons, such as mental disorders , trauma, social maladjustment - they should have the right to leave...


///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////


I always thought I was a clear case of a suicidal person and that it was extremely easy to see how much I am struggling and suffering. But either everyone is so insensitive that they don't notice it, or they notice it but don't care at all.

One might think that my presentation, in which I indirectly revealed my suicidal problems, would be something that would trigger a realization in some people, leading them to change their attitude towards me or even offer me help.

However, this did not happen. Even though I obviously revealed my tragedy, no one noticed it. There's probably not even one person who noticed, but just pretends not to have noticed it.

No one was interested in my suffering. Not only did no one discuss this topic with me directly, but they did not even offer indirect forms of help, such as talking or spending time with me.

The most interesting thing about the whole situation is that a significant number of people participating in the class are... psychology students, the vast majority of whom will become psychotherapists in the future. I'm not convinced, to put it mildly, that they have the necessary predispositions for recognizing and being sensitive to another person's suffering...

 

[Sakura.]

For some reason, my post had to wait for moderators' approval before it was displayed to other users. By this time it had dropped almost to the bottom of the thread list. I hope this justifies a bump.

 

[sugarh1gh]

Did you reveal that it was a case related to you? Because if not, it seems like an interesting presentation and opinion. I am sure other people, especially psych students, would found it interesting rather than to judge presenter's opinion. Usually what they study is more pro-life, so they aren't exposed to this kind of opinion (unless they are philosophy major).

I am sorry it felt like you are being ignored or you aren't getting any support from your peers. We are here to hear you out if that helps.

 

[Dusk till dawn]

I never discuss suicide with anyone IRL and when i do i always make sure i'm in a good mood to avoid drawing suspicion, i refuse to let any clues or hints that i'm suicidal or have pro-life views, i also would never have made a presentation and just said to teachers i don't have any topics to talk about and that they can make my grades as bad as they want, if i were you i'd be happy that nobody noticed i slipped, these people knowing you're suicidal is probably not a good thing to begin with, i get it you're lonely and isolated and maybe that was a cry for help but you can never trust a pro-lifer who can and will act upon his pro-life beliefs

 

[Sakura.]

Did you reveal that it was a case related to you?

No.

I guess I'm actually glad that everyone around me is so insensitive and that even this presentation didn't make them aware of my problems.

I wouldn't get any real support or care from them, only "help" in the form of welfare checks, risk of forced confinement in a mental institution and other extremely negative consequences.

 

[teajay1]

to be completely honest if i saw this presentation i don't think i'd be able to figure out it's your experiences. just interesting research. i understand your pain and you deserve to be heard.

 

[Onelegman]

Empathy has died in this society, the majority of people have not even remotely known suicide, it makes them uncomfortable to talk about it, to think about it, it is a shame because this problem will become more and more serious in all countries.
My tens (various ten) to your presentation and your courage to carry out such a noble act. Maybe you have struck a chord with someone, but they don't dare to say it.

 

[noname223]

That story is interesting and sad. I read some of your posts and you said that this website (or parts of it) might be illegal where you live. I would be curious to know in which country you live. Depending on the country such a presentation might have different implications and consequences.
I think I cannot really understand how that happened and whether some context might be missing. I wonder how a teacher cannot be alarmed after such a presentation.

 

[dopaminedeath]

Did you discuss other people's presentation topic with them personally?

 

[Sakura.]

if i were you i'd be happy that nobody noticed i slipped, these people knowing you're suicidal is probably not a good thing to begin with, i get it you're lonely and isolated and maybe that was a cry for help but you can never trust a pro-lifer who can and will act upon his pro-life beliefs

You're right. It is exactly as I wrote in my previous post.

to be completely honest if i saw this presentation i don't think i'd be able to figure out it's your experiences. just interesting research.

I know. Still, when a person with obvious mental issues gives a presentation on a topic like suicide; when they says that when someone has mental problems, suicide can be rational and should not be prevented and so on... It should be a bit suspicious to others.

Maybe you have struck a chord with someone, but they don't dare to say it.

I don't want to get my hopes up that such people exist in my case. I understand that for someone these problems may be so difficult that they cannot help me with them, and I do not blame them for that. I would still really appreciate that they noticed them and that they cared about me, even if they can't help me.

Did you discuss other people's presentation topic with them personally?

No.

I read some of your posts and you said that this website (or parts of it) might be illegal where you live.

I checked the legal regulations. General, public posting on SauS, addressed to an unlimited audience, is not a crime.

It is a crime to interact with specific people, including helping them implement their plans (e.g. by sharing knowledge about methods or giving opinions on them), and potentially also expressing acceptance of their plans (which may be understood as actively encouraging suicide). It is also a crime not to inform state authorities that someone has suicidal problems.

However, my views on suicide alone are enough to lock me in a psychiatric facility if they are revealed and to close off various opportunities for me regarding professional development, adoption of a child and a number of different things.

 

[cowboypants]

Recently in class, we were supposed to give a presentation on any topic of our choice. I don't have any passions or interests, so since I couldn't come up with any ideas in the months leading up to the presentation, I had to choose the only topic I knew about, which is suicide.

If choosing such a topic wasn't suspicious enough, I included a series of theses in my presentation that completely deviated from the common views of society on suicide and what pro-life psychologists write about the topic in their scientific work.

I said, among other things, that the tragedy is not suicide itself, but what drives a given person to commit suicide. And that, therefore, suicides should not be prevented for the sake of prevention - only to then leave such a person without help, alone with their tragedies and problems, or lock them up in a psychiatric facility.

II discussed (again - completely differently from common views or the views of pro-life psychologists) the characteristics of suicidal tendencies, the individuals experiencing them, and their attitudes and behaviors, which may (intentionally or unintentionally) signal to others that they are experiencing such problems. All this information related directly to me!

Finally, I raised the thesis that suicides should not always be prevented and that they can be rational. That if the decision to commit suicide is mature, well-thought-out, considered for an appropriate amount of time...
...and if a given person meets certain conditions - that his or her life is suffering, not necessarily due to, for example, a fatal disease or chronic pain, but also for other reasons, such as mental disorders , trauma, social maladjustment - they should have the right to leave...


///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////


I always thought I was a clear case of a suicidal person and that it was extremely easy to see how much I am struggling and suffering. But either everyone is so insensitive that they don't notice it, or they notice it but don't care at all.

One might think that my presentation, in which I indirectly revealed my suicidal problems, would be something that would trigger a realization in some people, leading them to change their attitude towards me or even offer me help.

However, this did not happen. Even though I obviously revealed my tragedy, no one noticed it. There's probably not even one person who noticed, but just pretends not to have noticed it.

No one was interested in my suffering. Not only did no one discuss this topic with me directly, but they did not even offer indirect forms of help, such as talking or spending time with me.

The most interesting thing about the whole situation is that a significant number of people participating in the class are... psychology students, the vast majority of whom will become psychotherapists in the future. I'm not convinced, to put it mildly, that they have the necessary predispositions for recognizing and being sensitive to another person's suffering...

A simple "are you doing okay" would have been appropriate. I'm sorry you didn't have the support.

But also since you are psych students it doesn't seem way out of topic for people to get sus. They might not have seen it

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Here's the thing, none of this was suspicious. Suicide is already a commonly talked about topic in fields like psychology and talking about the complexity behind it is very normal. Nothing about your presentation seems to hint at you being suicidal. For all the audience knows, this is just an issue you are passionate about. This would be like the equivalent of me expecting my teacher to assumed that I must have had an abortion before because I decided to do an assignment on the ethics behind abortion. If you want people to connect the dots then just tell them that you are suicidal.

 

[Sakura.]

But also since you are psych students it doesn't seem way out of topic for people to get sus. They might not have seen it

I and most of the people in the group are not psychology students (only part of the group is). The topics of the presentations also did not concern psychological issues, but completely arbitrary ones - hence my presentation on suicide stood out from the presentations about someone's favorite football players or influencers.

 

[Rainy_Cloud]

For some reason, my post had to wait for moderators' approval before it was displayed to other users. By this time it had dropped almost to the bottom of the thread list. I hope this justifies a bump.

im waiting as well i wonder why, mybe because is longer post. With that said mybe people didnt suspect anything because alot people there are in that major and they just took it as another topic for them and mybe tought u did some awarnnes, altho if topic was completly up to ur choise and somebody did that the way u did i would problly atleast ask the person if they are okay. if u wanna talk more about this or anything ur welcomed do dm me im happy to help if i can or just keep company.
im sorry for my spelling mistakes

 

[lost_ange1]

I personally find it interesting that your teachers/profs even let you chose that topic but you said that some of the participants are psychology students so maybe it does make some sort of sense why they are not too worried about the topic itself?

I personally noticed that most ordinary people just are not as aware of mental health problems or being suicidal. Probably they don't even want to be confronted with the topic, so they will just block that input and try to forget it as soon as possible as a prevention, to save themselves to dive too deep into the thoughts of suicide. Most people still do not like to be confronted or reminded of death, the way or reasons do not necessarily matter. Basically they blind themselves to see the truth cause they can not handle it.

If you want to be heard try to talk to a therapist or any kind of mental health person and explain your situation to them. You have better chances of getting support and having a good listener then.

 

[fourstars]

similar shit with me but with my parents. i've literally said completely bluntly and honestly that i seriously want and am considering to kill myself in front of them, with both of them knowing of many of my suicide attempts, and they just don't give a fuck. its so frustrating, i know what you mean. reaching out for help so much of the time won't work because most people are too dumb to understand unless you're completely and utterly blunt with them.

 

[pyx]

Did anyone in the class object to your stance on suicide?

 

[thereluctantgnostic]

For some reason, my post had to wait for moderators' approval before it was displayed to other users. By this time it had dropped almost to the bottom of the thread list. I hope this justifies a bump.

Can I ask how old you are? You have a very moving and resonant view of suffering and that being the importance of the nature of resorting to suicide. I really really relate to your thoughts and poetic descriptions of your experiences.

 

[zjay-0v3rit!]

I know the feeling of not feeling heard and/or being misunderstood and its hard. I think a lot of psych students also are like the "im gonna study psych to figure myself out" so maybe they are just already dealing with their own mental illness, or they secretly relate to your presentation but dont want to reveal it. Anyway big props to you for making the effort and presenting it

 

[Orange Cat]

Your presentation is interesting, but it really doesn't raise any red flags. It's not suspicious to give a presentation on suicide during suicide awareness month especially when a large number of students are psych students. They probably found it interesting that you approached the topic from a different perspective than usual.

The views you expressed aren't suspicious. A lot of people believe that suicide can be rational in certain cases. They may even secretly think that they would end their own life under certain circumstances.

People aren't mind readers. It may not be obvious to them that you are struggling, or they may not realize how much you are struggling. If you want help you have to ask for it directly. If there is something practical that someone can do to help you, just ask them.

 

[DeadFlowers]

Maybe they noticed but were unsure what to do. For nonsuicidal people they can think they can say the wrong thing or make things worse and ultimately end up causing more harm. It's also such a sensitive/taboo topic for the rest of the world. If they're not close with you, they may also think you have close family/friends who would be helping you.

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

People don't connect the dots. I've mentioned plans in passing and started to realize I don't have anyone in my life who connected any of it; the reality of people I thought were friends not actually caring about me has made the decision easier. At least I did reach out to people. It fills me with a strange joy that one day these acquaintances will message me and never hear from me again, or I'll go on a mass block/unfriend and they'll never know.

 

[Apathy79]

I think generally if you're talking to a group of non-suicidal people about suicide like this, they'll appreciate the psychological nuances discussed as something different from what they often hear and think it is interesting (or not). Unless the hints are really strong, they're probably not going to assume you are suicidal personally as a result of it. I don't think you need to be suicidal to believe what you said about it - it makes perfect sense.