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Venting I should be happy but I'm not

Opera

Opera

Member
Nov 16, 2024
83
I recently got my pet bird, and I absolutely love birds. Every time I had one, I was just so happy that it helped me manage my depression since I had something to look forward to. And now that I have my bird...... I'm still not happy.

It's a new year, same me. I feel so drained. The only thing that brings me comfort is a possible way to comfortably CTB but the options not avaliable to me right now. I want to plan to get a job and move so I can plan to CTB (since I still live with parents), and even that feels so far away. I don't know if I'll live long enough because I have a mysterious illness affecting me.

I just feel lost. Even if I say this to my partner they'll just say the same things I've heard before. I'm tired. I just don't want to continue living.
 
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