BPD Barbie
Visionary
- Dec 1, 2019
- 2,361
Hey guys,
So, I haven't been that active on here lately. Meds, therapy and a good psych really helped me. But there is an issue. I miss feeling suicidal, I miss the comfort of death and dying. I miss the feeling of peace it once gave me. Its at the point where I want to stop my meds and spiral back down.
Anyone else had this feeling where they don't want the recovery even when it works? Even now, I feel kinda OK, definitely better, but my life is in such tatters from the destruction I caused while mentally ill its almost impossible to rebuild anyway....
So, I haven't been that active on here lately. Meds, therapy and a good psych really helped me. But there is an issue. I miss feeling suicidal, I miss the comfort of death and dying. I miss the feeling of peace it once gave me. Its at the point where I want to stop my meds and spiral back down.
Anyone else had this feeling where they don't want the recovery even when it works? Even now, I feel kinda OK, definitely better, but my life is in such tatters from the destruction I caused while mentally ill its almost impossible to rebuild anyway....
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