CremstDearest
Member
- Nov 17, 2024
- 21
Failed, miserably, I dont understand what happened, im so scared.
I don't know what caused it, my mom was out to get my medication since I was diagnosed with asthma, and she got upset over me not wearing enough and told me to put another sweater on, so I did and then went to her, but I a little late which caused her to be a little mad, but I don't understand what happened, I got mad, really mad, felt out of control, like something was taking over me.
God this sounds so crazy, I feel like maybe I'm making this shit up and making myself believe it's real.
But it sounds so real, the voice, it, whatever it is, it isnt me, it isnt an inner voice, he has no name, but he's so mean, he says I should die, I should kill myself, he insults me, he hates every single thing I do, he always complains about living in my body, he takes control sometimes, makes me do things like harm myself, and im scared.
There used to be this other voice that would defned me, but I don't hear her anymore.
I don't understand am I going crazy? I told this to my therapist and he said I should get checked for DID but I don't think it's DID cause that's actually fucking wild, what if im making this shit up in my head?
I lost control yesterday, he's taken over, it screamed, It hit my head on the wall, punched and kicked everything, tried to jump off the window twice, once I managed to stop myself and the other my mom stopped me, i stole my mom's cigarette, I couldn't light it so i managed to sneak her vape, I managed to take control to the point of quitting the smoking but it wasn't long before I lost control, my mom got really mad at me for the way I was acting out and she grabbed my arm and dragged me, it hurt my arm alot, I started crying.. she tried to hug me but all I could do was push her away, im so scared, I dont understand I don't I don't I don't I sound fucking crazy am i fucking crazy? He talks and talks and talks and I need to shut him up or else he'll take over and I don't want to die please I don't want to die but i want to die so bad I don't understand I'm so scared I'm so fucking scared
It was so bad, like even after my mom finished taking my meds she went shopping and for some reason it made me wonder off, in the cold, and the cold makes my asthma worse, I managed to get myself back home but Jesus chrisg
God this all makes me sound so crazy I bet, I'm pathetic, this is so stupid I wish I understood why I'm like this what if im faking it and I had no idea I was what if I do this to myself I don't understand..
I don't know what caused it, my mom was out to get my medication since I was diagnosed with asthma, and she got upset over me not wearing enough and told me to put another sweater on, so I did and then went to her, but I a little late which caused her to be a little mad, but I don't understand what happened, I got mad, really mad, felt out of control, like something was taking over me.
God this sounds so crazy, I feel like maybe I'm making this shit up and making myself believe it's real.
But it sounds so real, the voice, it, whatever it is, it isnt me, it isnt an inner voice, he has no name, but he's so mean, he says I should die, I should kill myself, he insults me, he hates every single thing I do, he always complains about living in my body, he takes control sometimes, makes me do things like harm myself, and im scared.
There used to be this other voice that would defned me, but I don't hear her anymore.
I don't understand am I going crazy? I told this to my therapist and he said I should get checked for DID but I don't think it's DID cause that's actually fucking wild, what if im making this shit up in my head?
I lost control yesterday, he's taken over, it screamed, It hit my head on the wall, punched and kicked everything, tried to jump off the window twice, once I managed to stop myself and the other my mom stopped me, i stole my mom's cigarette, I couldn't light it so i managed to sneak her vape, I managed to take control to the point of quitting the smoking but it wasn't long before I lost control, my mom got really mad at me for the way I was acting out and she grabbed my arm and dragged me, it hurt my arm alot, I started crying.. she tried to hug me but all I could do was push her away, im so scared, I dont understand I don't I don't I don't I sound fucking crazy am i fucking crazy? He talks and talks and talks and I need to shut him up or else he'll take over and I don't want to die please I don't want to die but i want to die so bad I don't understand I'm so scared I'm so fucking scared
It was so bad, like even after my mom finished taking my meds she went shopping and for some reason it made me wonder off, in the cold, and the cold makes my asthma worse, I managed to get myself back home but Jesus chrisg
God this all makes me sound so crazy I bet, I'm pathetic, this is so stupid I wish I understood why I'm like this what if im faking it and I had no idea I was what if I do this to myself I don't understand..
