I think I might give recovery a shot

[BridgeJumper]

After 12 years of bipolar disorder with severe suicidal thoughts running rampant in my head and destroying whatever was left of my life (life? bold to assume I had a life when it ceased to be a life once I turned 13), I decided I might give recovery a shot. Ive already discovered that some self help exercises that people generally disregard kinda improve my metal health (for example I took up art and long walks to take my mind off suicide and it helped me halt it and achieve longer periods out of psych ward). But now, I experienced something major. Im just out of a german hospital after I tried to jump off the bridge again. And guess what? The meds they prescribed me work perfectly. They keep me balanced, Im not manic, Im not depressed, I started doing chores and having small talk with my family. I feel like my old self is coming back! That is such a breakthrough I feel I need to try and keep it up that way. So Im sorry if I post here less and less often. I still dont rule my suicide out but its not as huge of a problem as it was before. Im sure some of you can relate.

 

[Morto]

Hi buddy, nice to read this. I was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder, type 1 (which type are you?) and I got really really bad after this diagnosis, but them after reading a lot of stuff and getting the proper tretatment, I found out its pretty much possible to have a good life with the disorder. Which medications are you on right now?
Wish you the best!

 

[reveriewong]

I'm so glad to hear that you're doing better and that you're discovering and trying out new things to help you move forward in life. Seeing you working on turning around your life for the better is amazing.

 

[Tazmaniac]

After 12 years of bipolar disorder with severe suicidal thoughts running rampant in my head and destroying whatever was left of my life (life? bold to assume I had a life when it ceased to be a life once I turned 13), I decided I might give recovery a shot. Ive already discovered that some self help exercises that people generally disregard kinda improve my metal health (for example I took up art and long walks to take my mind off suicide and it helped me halt it and achieve longer periods out of psych ward). But now, I experienced something major. Im just out of a german hospital after I tried to jump off the bridge again. And guess what? The meds they prescribed me work perfectly. They keep me balanced, Im not manic, Im not depressed, I started doing chores and having small talk with my family. I feel like my old self is coming back! That is such a breakthrough I feel I need to try and keep it up that way. So Im sorry if I post here less and less often. I still dont rule my suicide out but its not as huge of a problem as it was before. Im sure some of you can relate.

That's great to hear, really.

 

[pole]

so happy to hear, and dont be apologetic about being here less often. do you, get better, thats what most of us here want to see you do.

hopeful this is just the beginning of a great turn around for you, and good luck to you in continuing to get better. you got this

 

[BridgeJumper]

Happy to hear all those words of encouragement, they really mean a lot to me in the reality where most of the people that meant something to me abandoned me because of my mental illness.
Dont know which type I am honestly. They classified me 'bipolar - mixed episode' or 'bipolar unspecified' during my stays in the hospital. Now theyre leaning towards schizoaffective rather than bipolar because I started getting psychotic episodes too. Hard to deal with, entire months of my life are getting wiped out. But Im trying to still go forward. I was put on clozapine. Apparently its one of the newest and best working antipsychotics. It works well for not hearing voices and not jumping off bridges, I dont get full on dystonic reactions like after those stupid hell - nah - peridol injections. The only side effects I got are tremors in my hands and salivating a lot when I sleep. I also take depakote for my ocd since it always helped make it better.
Again, thank you for all the kindness. May it return to you!

 

[Tazmaniac]

My best friend died a few years ago, complications due to diabetes. She experienced the symptoms of bipolar before they even had a name for it. I watched her go through hell, and I think her desire to die, but lack of willingness to to commit suicide, directly affected her desire to get healthy and recover.
I'm really, really glad that things are better for you. Absorb all of the stimulation that makes you feel alive right now, store them away and use them to light any darkness you will you experience in the future.

 

[h0wd1rtygurlsST4Yc1n]

cool :) cheers :)

 

[pole]

happy to hear that you're giving it a chance to try and get better, even after what you've gone through. hope this is the start of amazing things to come for you in life, and i hope you update us on you're path each step of the way as a stepping stone to motivate myself and others whom are trying to actively get better.

hope you find the peace that you're looking for and the happiness that you deserve.