So today, I was really feeling low energy and just didn't feel like doing anything. Instead of my usual routine of texting her good morning and sending a heart, I decided to just sleep in until I went to Walmart with my mom and sister. Everything was going alright; I mostly slept in the van while waiting for them.
When I got home, my friend had texted me, telling me to respond to my girlfriend. I hadn't gotten any text messages, so I was confused—until he clarified that I should start a conversation with her and sent me screenshots of her talking/complaining about how I hadn't texted her all day. I felt bad after that, so I tried to do something with her. But when we finally called, she immediately went to take a shower and hasn't responded since.
All I wanted to do was chill for a day. I really didn't mean to upset her. Am I in the wrong here? I don't want us going through a rough patch before I CTB, but is that for the best? If she doesn't like me as much, at least she won't feel as sad when I go through with it.
I just don't know whether I should cut contact and just CTB or still try to act normal. What should I do? Anyway, thanks for reading my vent.
Maybe she is personally attached to the routine of you texting her "good morning" + a heart. Perhaps she feels emotionally attached to this routine, for any reason, and feels assured by it. Maybe she felt discomforted when this assuring ritual was seemingly absent—leading to her fearing about whether things are alright between you two.
I feel this can be solved by talking more with your girlfriend and trying to understand each other better. If I were you I might start off with an apology (even though you did nothing wrong, you meant no harm, friend c:), and then maybe say something like "I now know that me saying good morning is important to you, but today I just felt super tired and slept in the van / etc, I assure you that you are still on my mind :)".
I think it would be far too drastic to cut ties immediately over this. I think it's certainly worth a shot trying to communicate this deeper with her, and try to find harmony between you two.
Wishing you all the best.
—Hunter
P.S. I am sure any of your girlfriends upsetness right now will surely relax given a bit of time. Relationships aren't perfect all the time ofc, sometimes! As Billy Joel says,
Well now you tell me you love somebody
And you'll love 'em forever
You may love 'em forever
But you won't like 'em all of the time
Well now you tell me you need somebody for the rest of your life
You might have somebody
But you won't want 'em everyday
—
Billy Joel, Ain't No Crime
A natural bit of flux and conflict between you two might be a natural part of a relationship—plus the fears that you might've wronged the other!
I promise you that
both of your concerns for each other, come out of a
love for each other. You clearly care about her and want her to know how much you love her, and she in a very similar vein also wants the same affirmation and harmony that you too, have for hear :)
But she might have a different view of what showing love looks like. It seems she may have been attached to that ritual of "texting good morning <3" in a way that you might not have realized until now—and that's okay! you had no way of knowing till now—so there is no blame upon you, you two are just in a period of a little confusion as you are both trying to figure yourselves and your relationship out. I assure you, this too, shall pass :) it is very possible you two can be in loving terms in the future, given enough careful communication and careful understanding. It takes skill, but such skill can be learned—and what better way to learn than making mistakes firsthand.
I know how difficult it can be to maintain hope in things—especially difficult things—like relationships, when suicidal; but trust me, I very much can see a lot of possibility and hope for mending this relationship you have with your girlfriend here, based on what you have told me. This doesn't have to be the end of this :) This little rough in the patch of this path, might've stumbled you now; but you will still be able to regain your footing and continue your walk in the parks and gardens that is the trial to understand the workings of life and humanity. It is a difficult walk—and often a roughy one; but a beautiful one.
I give you my heartiest of wishes for you and your girlfriend. May the love between you be able to come about again, and to be restored in goodwill :)
My hopes are with you. For this relationship, and any other confusions in life that afflict you.
And I take this note to invite you to my PM's if you ever wish to vent to me in seek of words or even just being heard. All is welcome :)
Take care, friend. This little bump in the road in the path that is the relationship with your girlfriend, can certainly be healed and continued. My hopes with you :)
