J
JustABitTired
Member
- Dec 26, 2022
- 16
Today, on instagram, I saw my ex (30) of nearly 3 years dressed up lovingly gazing at the new girl (26) in his life. They'll probably get married and have children. This shouldn't have devastated me or pushed me towards suicide. However, I was holding out hope that I was going to be that girl given we were on a date 3 weeks ago, and still talking 2 weeks ago. He said he was had started seeing her almost 2 weeks ago and would date her if she lived in London.
On Nov. 26, he was crying and telling me he loved me and wanted to be with me.
To say I am broken won't fully explain how I feel. I know killing myself won't win him back; but it's not for him, it's for me. I'm in AGONY. I can't live through this pain. I can't. We've been up and down since August and that nearly floored me but this. He truly doesn't care and doesn't love me anymore and I feel so, so ashamed because I still loved him. And a tiny part of me hoped?
I ordered SN when he first mentioned her and it's arrived. I don't want to die you guys - I'm so scared and so ashamed that I feel this way but I genuinely can't see a path forward, I can't keep going through this pain. There's really not enough tears to express how sad and broken I am. I'm 29 and look at my life. My body won't get found until work rings around 1 month later and I can't tell anyone I'm doing this for obvious reasons. I feel like if I don't do it now, I never will.
On Nov. 26, he was crying and telling me he loved me and wanted to be with me.
To say I am broken won't fully explain how I feel. I know killing myself won't win him back; but it's not for him, it's for me. I'm in AGONY. I can't live through this pain. I can't. We've been up and down since August and that nearly floored me but this. He truly doesn't care and doesn't love me anymore and I feel so, so ashamed because I still loved him. And a tiny part of me hoped?
I ordered SN when he first mentioned her and it's arrived. I don't want to die you guys - I'm so scared and so ashamed that I feel this way but I genuinely can't see a path forward, I can't keep going through this pain. There's really not enough tears to express how sad and broken I am. I'm 29 and look at my life. My body won't get found until work rings around 1 month later and I can't tell anyone I'm doing this for obvious reasons. I feel like if I don't do it now, I never will.