I think that method can work for me... A little painful but nothing compared to mechanical ways.

[Rowena]

Hi... I'm rowena i'm transgender and can't stand my life anymore... I already posted a presentation post but here i am again and i want to discuss that topic... I'm 28, i started hormones and stuff like 7 months ago... Yes, i see facial changes because of ethinilestradiol (wich no one talks and even approaches to) but... i dont know... I've put in the table that i must make facial surgery... it will cost like 80.000 EU maximum but... I don't have a work, i dont want to go on boy mode... even if i think i look like a fuckin male.... and... that's the point, i'm stuck.... I need that work to buy a car and make 5.000 EU for camion driving license (sorry for my bad english) i live near switzerland... (Wich if u have swiss citizenship you have access to FREE FACIAL SURGERY)... Here in italy only top and bottom surgeryes are considered the demolishing aspect of an individual... Anyway.... I need to do a lot of work and it's ok... i can wait and live in my world alone like i always did... but... I simply can't go in boy mode, and i feel like that going even with a tiny line of eyeliner and mascara (wich i dont know why it makes you very feminine) i will lose the work and f**k everything... I need a starting point... I don't look like a male like that... I don't full look like a female.... The world is strict but it's right i think, there are no sucxh things like ''misgender'' you are what you look like.... and... It can be fixed, i already know even what to tell to surgeon to be changed in my face, (need tiroplasty too cause my voice is AWFUL)... anyways... I dont know... I tried to CTB with methadone, 30 doses of 90 mg each... (last december)... And the night night method 3 times.... I failed... And haven't considered a suicide methodd because i've seen a friend who collapsed and hit the head in the ground and he stayed in coma for 2 months... I've seen the intubation scars, for being fed, and for peeing... and that thing scared me alot..... But i considered a thing that i've considered many many years ago... And that is the point of the discussion, CTB by hypothermia.... Just going into the woods, put off my pants, keep on my t-shirt (just because i am having little breast development due to progesterone) (wich is not discussed in the trans world but anyway) what you think? I know that at some point when you freeze you feel like you are burned... but... is that so much painful? It's assured that you will CTB 100%, throwing away the phone and just lie in the woods at 5° degrees i think it will kill you in a matter of 2-3 hours... and i think that when you get naked it will be the most painful part... The rest is just going on... is like when you submerge yourself in very cold water... Am i right? i don't know why i'm posting that thing... the thruth is that i used to cut my veins alot and do crazy s**t when i was a male... but when i discovered Hormone therapy and began it... i can't even put a needle in the veins... I admit, i am a p***y in all ways, i tried the easyest methods, i even cryed before trying the Night Night method thinking that will work and it's the end, i've got 30 minutes preparation... With the methadone i took 1 day to be ''ready'' to uncork all the bottles and put all the methadone in a very big and large glass.... Suicide is absurd somehow, the preparation... determination... and stuff.... I don't know I'm scared but somehow i'm confortable with that CTB method... if i fail in the job wich is the only one that i can do like that, like a trans wich is in transition and wich i don't even know if i'm fully developed or not.. If i'm not i could wait yes, but.... I need the surgeryes and the money to do that... The other way is to marry a swiss citizen and get the citizzenship .-. but i will need to pay someone for that maybe 20.000 EU and 4.000 EU for devorce procedure... I just need the money that i don't have. I never wished to having money like that... Never wanted a big house or a lamborghini but i need that to live just normally... I don't give a f**k about having a partner I just want to enter a coffee and when i talk or when someone clocks me to stare at me, looking at me that awful way.... Like an alien like something that's weird and i dont know... I was making a post about to CTB with hypothermia and wrote a storyline, i'm sorry, i don't think anyway much people will read and understand this... But i can't talk to suicide to anyone... i'll be looked again like an alien .-.

 

[Tonkpils]

This forum is a safe place to share/vent feelings and thoughts that you can't say in real life. Many of us here will understand what you are going through, you are not alone. I don't know much about hypothermia, it seems like it might be very uncomfortable for a bit but if you are not found it has a good chance of being successful. I hope you find an answer that gives you peace, whatever that may be.

 

[Valhala]

Somewhere on this forum, hypothermia has been covered in detail. When attempting CTB with hypothermia, there is always a huge risk of survival with frozen individual parts of the body and permanent chronic consequences. Try to find that thread on the forum, or if someone finds it, post it here.

 

[Tonkpils]

I found these threads that may be helpful-

Hypothermia & Diphenhydramine(chloride) method

Translation from the German book "Selbstbestimmtes Sterben. Sanfter Tod bei klarem Geist" Victor Niculescu Hypothermia & Diphenhydramine(chloride) "The lethal dose of Diphenhydramine(chloride) is 50mg per kg body weight. also required: Zopiclon 20 tablets Bromazepam or Triazolam 30-50...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Failed Hypothermia Attempt

I felt the need to share my story because I just discovered a thread of someone considering hypothermia as a method to cbt and pretty much every answer to his post was incorrect. First comment was "you don't need freezing temperatures to die from hypothermia", while technically correct, this...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[anopenwound]

Hi... I'm rowena i'm transgender and can't stand my life anymore... I already posted a presentation post but here i am again and i want to discuss that topic... I'm 28, i started hormones and stuff like 7 months ago... Yes, i see facial changes because of ethinilestradiol (wich no one talks and even approaches to) but... i dont know... I've put in the table that i must make facial surgery... it will cost like 80.000 EU maximum but... I don't have a work, i dont want to go on boy mode... even if i think i look like a fuckin male.... and... that's the point, i'm stuck.... I need that work to buy a car and make 5.000 EU for camion driving license (sorry for my bad english) i live near switzerland... (Wich if u have swiss citizenship you have access to FREE FACIAL SURGERY)... Here in italy only top and bottom surgeryes are considered the demolishing aspect of an individual... Anyway.... I need to do a lot of work and it's ok... i can wait and live in my world alone like i always did... but... I simply can't go in boy mode, and i feel like that going even with a tiny line of eyeliner and mascara (wich i dont know why it makes you very feminine) i will lose the work and f**k everything... I need a starting point... I don't look like a male like that... I don't full look like a female.... The world is strict but it's right i think, there are no sucxh things like ''misgender'' you are what you look like.... and... It can be fixed, i already know even what to tell to surgeon to be changed in my face, (need tiroplasty too cause my voice is AWFUL)... anyways... I dont know... I tried to CTB with methadone, 30 doses of 90 mg each... (last december)... And the night night method 3 times.... I failed... And haven't considered a suicide methodd because i've seen a friend who collapsed and hit the head in the ground and he stayed in coma for 2 months... I've seen the intubation scars, for being fed, and for peeing... and that thing scared me alot..... But i considered a thing that i've considered many many years ago... And that is the point of the discussion, CTB by hypothermia.... Just going into the woods, put off my pants, keep on my t-shirt (just because i am having little breast development due to progesterone) (wich is not discussed in the trans world but anyway) what you think? I know that at some point when you freeze you feel like you are burned... but... is that so much painful? It's assured that you will CTB 100%, throwing away the phone and just lie in the woods at 5° degrees i think it will kill you in a matter of 2-3 hours... and i think that when you get naked it will be the most painful part... The rest is just going on... is like when you submerge yourself in very cold water... Am i right? i don't know why i'm posting that thing... the thruth is that i used to cut my veins alot and do crazy s**t when i was a male... but when i discovered Hormone therapy and began it... i can't even put a needle in the veins... I admit, i am a p***y in all ways, i tried the easyest methods, i even cryed before trying the Night Night method thinking that will work and it's the end, i've got 30 minutes preparation... With the methadone i took 1 day to be ''ready'' to uncork all the bottles and put all the methadone in a very big and large glass.... Suicide is absurd somehow, the preparation... determination... and stuff.... I don't know I'm scared but somehow i'm confortable with that CTB method... if i fail in the job wich is the only one that i can do like that, like a trans wich is in transition and wich i don't even know if i'm fully developed or not.. If i'm not i could wait yes, but.... I need the surgeryes and the money to do that... The other way is to marry a swiss citizen and get the citizzenship .-. but i will need to pay someone for that maybe 20.000 EU and 4.000 EU for devorce procedure... I just need the money that i don't have. I never wished to having money like that... Never wanted a big house or a lamborghini but i need that to live just normally... I don't give a f**k about having a partner I just want to enter a coffee and when i talk or when someone clocks me to stare at me, looking at me that awful way.... Like an alien like something that's weird and i dont know... I was making a post about to CTB with hypothermia and wrote a storyline, i'm sorry, i don't think anyway much people will read and understand this... But i can't talk to suicide to anyone... i'll be looked again like an alien .-.

Hey girl, I'm from Italy too - let me know if you're just residing there or if you speak the language as well.
There's many things you can do to get the money you need. I know dysphoria is a bitch - I'm transmasc, I understand to a certain degree. I wanna help you. You can start a gofundme to raise money for your surgeries, those things gain a lot of traction on trans twitter if you push them around the right people. You can find support in the community there, I can give you contacts. Please don't take this as if I'm thinking you're crazy to want to CTB - I want the same so I understand. I just wanna do some good for you.

 

[LunarLight]

Hey, I'm a trans girl too. I feel for you. Dysphoria is a bitch.

 

[Rowena]

Hi anopenwound... Can i really start a gofoundme? how it works? what is the best?

 

[SVEN]

This is maybe the one Forum in the world where your post will be read and no judgements, Rowena. I'm a hetero male, so I can't pretend to begin to understand what you're enduring. But, I can totally get you're hurting and desperate and I'm sorry.
One of my friends got lost hillwalking in the winter here in the UK a few years back and just got so exhausted and weary he finally sat down to rest. He told me he was almost asleep when he realised that if he did fall asleep he probably wouldn't wake up again. And he did get up and managed back to civilisation.
The point is that he told me if he ever wanted to kill himself that's how he would do it. Just like falling asleep.
I don't know anything more about hypothermia or the risks than that.
Best wishes whatever you decide to do.

 

[Rowena]

I don't know.... i realized from the thread that thankfully Tonkpils posted that to die by freezing is fuckin hard..... But somehow i feel like that when temperatures here in north italy (alpes) drops at -5 -6 at night i can succeed..... I can't go on anymore....

 

[Tonkpils]

I don't know.... i realized from the thread that thankfully Tonkpils posted that to die by freezing is fuckin hard..... But somehow i feel like that when temperatures here in north italy (alpes) drops at -5 -6 at night i can succeed..... I can't go on anymore....

I mean, you read about people who get lost in the winter and freeze to death, so it's not impossible. It's going to feel like hell first though. If I were to consider this method I might think about adding something that helps me pass out quicker so I don't feel anything. This is one idea-

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0953985994710998#:~:text=Despite%20the%20feeling%20of%20warmth,of%20hypothermia%20during%20cold%20exposure.

The ability to not be found is also a concern. I don't think it's a non method but one that requires planning and the ability to overcome significant survival instinct and pain, some of us here are at that breaking point already. If anyone wants to chat about this or anything else my PMs are always open

 

[Seered Doom]

Trans guy offering solidarity, dysphoria sucks ass

 

[Rowena]

Yes dysphoria is the worst thing i experienced ever.... And was always there i mean, until you discover a HRT you dont really know.... Anyway i am still considering that method but i dont know.... I know that with surgeryes i will pass and could live a life as a woman in society.... Now i have an opportunity to start to build that, i dont wanna say how and what, because talking about projects even with strangers fucks everything up, you know, i'll see.... I don't want to die, i want to live, even if it will be ''one day''..... it's hard.... really i dont know what to say.... if i was rich, i would open an agency or something for trans people and help them with finding a job, or having a qualification for a decent job.... to get money to get the surgeryes.... The entire world sucks, if you don't pass, you are not even considered as a living being.... no one takes you seriously... and i can accept that, but i feel that trans people who doesn't pass and are aware of everything, and maybe shy like me or others.... don't have a future.... i hate that shit, anyway thank you for the posts and all suggestions... People hate that website but i think that in the very deep, no one wants to die, i mean, it's 2024.... there are very few things ''impossible''..... The only thing impossible is to bring back a dead person hopefully, or sadly, or maybe both.... I wish luck to everyone here and.... Idk....