I told my mental health counselor I was going to finally do it

[cazza82]

I have a really good relationship with my mental health counselor things got so bad last week I couldn't hide it anymore I just told her I can't do it anymore I was literally a mess I told her I had a lot of sleeping pills and some heroin and that I can't see any other way she said this feels like it may be the last time I will see you but I'll make an appointment for next week for you you can come and there will be no shame. Like I don't know what I expected as it just came out and it was my plan but she's always been big on safeguarding I feel like maybe I'm not taken seriously or maybe I was wrong and she actually doesn't care I'm in the uk by the way

 

[INYGTRMTFMO]

this feels like it may be the last time I will see you but I'll make an appointment for next week for you

Well damn.

I was under the impression that therapists were supposed to refer you for emergency / crisis services if you had a definite date, plan, and method (though I'm in the U.S., so maybe the rules are different here?).

In any case, I hope that, whatever happens between this week and next, you can find some joy and peace in between all the chaos.

 

[TBONTB]

I have a really good relationship with my mental health counselor things got so bad last week I couldn't hide it anymore I just told her I can't do it anymore I was literally a mess I told her I had a lot of sleeping pills and some heroin and that I can't see any other way she said this feels like it may be the last time I will see you but I'll make an appointment for next week for you you can come and there will be no shame. Like I don't know what I expected as it just came out and it was my plan but she's always been big on safeguarding I feel like maybe I'm not taken seriously or maybe I was wrong and she actually doesn't care I'm in the uk by the way

Sounds like that felt dismissive to you. Folks here care if you CTB, hope you get some peace in living if that's what you want

I know what your therapist did was not maybe the norm, but it seems to fit in with what you said. You didn't say "help me stop thinking about suicide" otherwise ask for help (true?) I'm sure your therapist wants you to be well, and does care about you. It seems like they might have just been reflecting your matter-of-fact tone?

Anyway, whatever your counselor meant, don't worry about it too much. Just look for the support you need

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

The therapist possibly understands that the methods you told them won't work.

Why ODs Fail Miserably (A Guide)

There's still a lot of questions and inquiries about ODs, and people asking about what things may facilitate a successful attempt. Let's be clear, ODs are rarely fatal. Why? For a couple of reasons: (1) modern medications are designed to be very safe, as manufacturers aim to avoid deaths that...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Non-methods that should not be attempted

mod note: this has been added to the suicide resource compilation at the top. This has been made in response to the ever increasing amount of posts made about highly unlikely methods. Please read before posting about one of these methods or feel free to link if someone does post about them...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[cazza82]

Well damn.

I was under the impression that therapists were supposed to refer you for emergency / crisis services if you had a definite date, plan, and method (though I'm in the U.S., so maybe the rules are different here?).

In any case, I hope that, whatever happens between this week and next, you can find some joy and peace in between all the chaos.

In the uk any plans told need to be reported I told her I'm not planning on going to work on Monday she's been so supportive my only support she's the only person I trust been seeing her since October last year. I don't know whether she doesn't think that I'll go through with it or that she doesn't care she knows what it takes for me to trust I don't lol but her I do so maybe she wants to show she won't break confidence I dunno it was just so weird my heads been spinning for days thinking about it. This decisions been so hard for me because I have a 6 year old son maybe she just thinks I'm a joke like all the other professionals that have abandoned me

 

[INYGTRMTFMO]

This decisions been so hard for me because I have a 6 year old

*glances at my sleeping 3 year old daughter next to me*

I feel you there.

I'm hoping it's more what the people above said, that A. she felt that non-judgmental acceptance was more therapeutic in the moment than trying to change your mind and that B. even if you did attempt, the odds of dying by pills are low (still, it'd be callous of her to be dismissive of your psychological pain even if she did appraise your method as non-lethal).

 

[EvisceratedJester]

It could be the case that your counsellor might believe that it is better not to hospitalize you due to the trauma that is often associated with it. They might believe that it could potentially negatively impact your trust in them, making it harder for you to openly talk about your issues during future sessions. They might just be assuming that you won't go through with it, or that there is still a chance that they might be able to keep you from doing it without the need for psychiatric intervention. That's my guess.

I know what your therapist did was not maybe the norm

*counsellor

Therapists and counsellors are two different professions.

The therapist possibly understands that the methods you told them won't work.

Why ODs Fail Miserably (A Guide)

There's still a lot of questions and inquiries about ODs, and people asking about what things may facilitate a successful attempt. Let's be clear, ODs are rarely fatal. Why? For a couple of reasons: (1) modern medications are designed to be very safe, as manufacturers aim to avoid deaths that...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Non-methods that should not be attempted

mod note: this has been added to the suicide resource compilation at the top. This has been made in response to the ever increasing amount of posts made about highly unlikely methods. Please read before posting about one of these methods or feel free to link if someone does post about them...

sanctioned-suicide.net

They mentioned having heroin on them. Depending on the amount they have, their chances of successfully ctbing would be higher. Most cases of successful ODs involve the use of strong opioids, such as heroin. Along with that, both heroin and benzos are depressants, meaning that they both slow down the nervous system. I would imagine that combining heroin with sleeping pills would lead to a much higher chance of successfully ctbing due to the combined depressant effects of both drugs.

 

[cazza82]

It could be the case that your counsellor might believe that it is better not to hospitalize you due to the trauma that is often associated with it. They might believe that it could potentially negatively impact your trust in them, making it harder for you to openly talk about your issues during future sessions. They might just be assuming that you won't go through with it, or that there is still a chance that they might be able to keep you from doing it without the need for psychiatric intervention. That's my guess.

*counsellor

Therapists and counsellors are two different professions.

They mentioned having heroin on them. Depending on the amount they have, their chances of successfully ctbing would be higher. Most cases of successful ODs involve the use of strong opioids, such as heroin. Along with that, both heroin and benzos are depressants, meaning that they both slow down the nervous system. I would imagine that combining heroin with sleeping pills would lead to a much higher chance of successfully ctbing due to the combined depressant effects of both drugs.

I have been clean of heroin for 19 years so I have zero tolerance now so I know it wouldn't take much but I did get extra just in case. All I want is to not be trapped anymore in this hopeless situation I want to end it I really do but struggling with leaving my child and the person he will be left with to raise him. In my head I want out I can't take this anymore constantly feeling so worthless and alone but in my heart I want my son I don't want to hurt him it's like I have to choose between my suffering now or his future suffering obviously kids come first always but when you have chronic depression you don't exactly think clearly it's like I'm in bloody limbo

 

[Scythe]

Well damn, congrats on not being warded, I'm surprised that's all you got for a response. Unlike the others above saying she didn't take you seriously and stuff like that. I think she took you seriously, she's just choosing to respect your decision, but holding onto hope that you'll live. Whether because of moral code to not interferr or she thinks it could be what's best for you from her observations I have no idea.

 

[siouxsie]

As a med student, I can tell you we all know not everyone can be saved. Not every suicide can be prevented. If you're chronically suicidal and she's aware that might be why she didn't hospitalize you. Doesn't mean she doesn't care. Just means she's aware that those things can happen. I wouldn't have hospitalized you either. Would have told u to get in touch if you really can't take it anymore. You're an adult and should be able to make that decision of going into hospital yourself. Force doesn't do much good. Maybe that's what she was thinking too. Also, if she knows about your indecisiveness because of your son she most likely took it as something that might keep you from ctb. Whatever her train of thought, I really don't think she doesn't care. She does. But she also knows it's ultimately your choice. She's definitely a keeper

 

[cazza82]

As a med student, I can tell you we all know not everyone can be saved. Not every suicide can be prevented. If you're chronically suicidal and she's aware that might be why she didn't hospitalize you. Doesn't mean she doesn't care. Just means she's aware that those things can happen. I wouldn't have hospitalized you either. Would have told u to get in touch if you really can't take it anymore. You're an adult and should be able to make that decision of going into hospital yourself. Force doesn't do much good. Maybe that's what she was thinking too. Also, if she knows about your indecisiveness because of your son she most likely took it as something that might keep you from ctb. Whatever her train of thought, I really don't think she doesn't care. She does. But she also knows it's ultimately your choice. She's definitely a keeper

She definitely knows I adore my son and to be honest I know she genuinely cares I guess I'm just waiting for her to do what the others have done but she won't she txt me saying I have her for as long as I need her she isn't going anywhere. I've never had that kinda support before so it's taking a lot of getting used to. She went above and beyond I was only meant to get 12 sessions with her on the NHS but she pushed to get me open ended so I don't have to pay. She's definitely a keeper I guess this brain of mine is messing with me. She's big on not wanting to betray my trust as I trust no one she's said on multiple occasions she doesn't want to ruin our relationship. I just wish these thoughts would just disappear so I can just be with my son