Venting I want someone to kill me.

[nothingspecial]

TW: Mentions of assault.

I want someone to kill me. I fantasize about it often. I wish I could just simply hire someone to do it. I wish I could find someone with homicidal tendencies, and we could both get that sweet release we're after - they get to kill me, I get to die, a win-win.

I feel like this would be so much better than suicide. Nobody would know that I actually wanted to die. It would be so much easier for my family to grieve my death if I was mugged and killed by some robber instead of if I killed myself.

Maybe this could be a new method, setting yourself up to get killed. I'm a 19 year old girl and I live in a fairly violent city. I feel like if I go downtown late at night wearing a real skimpy outfit, maybe act like I'm drunk, some guy will try to assault me. I can put up a fight and scream and he'll be forced to silence me. Maybe if I try to run away he'll kill me, if I'm lucky enough to score a guy that's just sick enough in the head to do that. I might try this.

Do you guys also feel this way? Wanting to be killed? Wanting to place yourself in dangerous situations?

I still live with my parents. But if I didn't, I wouldn't lock my doors. I'd even leave the doors open. And the windows. I'd make sure that my bedroom had a big window, so you'd be able to see that in a vulnerable young girl. And maybe, if I was lucky, some Ted Bundy type would see me and take my life.

I wonder if there's still those serial killer types out there, people like Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer, with those desires to kill people. Where did they go? Surely people like that still exist, they're just not acting on their desires anymore. I feel like there's no more notorious serial killers anymore. Well, if there's a homicidal maniac reading this, I'd love to be your next victim. I want to die. I'm ready to CTB.

 

[Chrysalis]

I do not think it would be easier to grieve a murder than a suicide at all; it would merely leave behind a moderately different concoction of negative emotion for your family to process. This method is also horribly unreliable. Maybe nothing happens, maybe you die, maybe you get kidnapped/trafficked and things get far worse.

I often wish I was an orphan myself so I could be unfettered, but the unfortunate truth is that if we have people that care for us, there are no convenient methods to circumvent scarring them with our death wish. As such, there is no need to feel obligated to subject yourself to such a cruel fate, unless you have some other motivation underpinning this I suppose.

 

[nothingspecial]

I do not think it would be easier to grieve a murder than a suicide at all; it would merely leave behind a moderately different concoction of negative emotion for your family to process. This method is also horribly unreliable. Maybe nothing happens, maybe you die, maybe you get kidnapped/trafficked and things get far worse.

I often wish I was an orphan myself so I could be unfettered, but the unfortunate truth is that if we have people that care for us, there are no convenient methods to circumvent scarring them with our death wish. As such, there is no need to feel obligated to subject yourself to such a cruel fate, unless you have some other motivation underpinning this I suppose.

Yes, you're absolutely right. Thank you for saying this.

 

[kitkat9234]

I wish someone would kill me all the time. You hear about innocent people who want to live being murdered or killed in accidents in the news all the time. I always ask why not me? I wish there was a way to hire someone. I'm too chicken shit to do it myself. I've also wondered if I just go out walking late at night in the ghetto would do it. I'd probably just get raped. I just want to die.

 

[theEndCH]

I have the same desire in me. I put myself into dangerous situations on purpose but nothing happen. I've also been on a specific chat website where exactly this is being discussed but the "killers" just talking, live too far away or just want s*x.

I wish someone had fun killing me.

 

[Opera]

I do think about that sometimes, mainly because of SI that makes it hard to CTB. Though, I would discourage wanting to go out or leave things open as they might not even take your life. It's sad but often people get away with S.A. rather than murder, especially now with the advance technology. I do have homicidal thoughts but I often feel shameful for it because I actually like it. I keep those feelings to just being thoughts and my imagination. I really hope you are able to find peace.

 

[attheend13]

I wish someone would kill me all the time. You hear about innocent people who want to live being murdered or killed in accidents in the news all the time. I always ask why not me? I wish there was a way to hire someone. I'm too chicken shit to do it myself. I've also wondered if I just go out walking late at night in the ghetto would do it. I'd probably just get raped. I just want to die.

I actually had to check to make sure this wasn't me because it's verbatim something I'd say and I've done. It would just be easier if someone would do it for me. But life isn't fair in any capacity

 

[sonzar]

SAME

 

[glegle]

word

 

[AnderDethsky]

Maybe this could be a new method, setting yourself up to get killed.

It would sound so reliable if the chance of being maimed/robbed/violated and surviving wasn't so great.
Oddly enough, it takes a certain ability to kill someone, just as it does to commit suicide.

Even though I'm a happy SN owner and potential consumer of it, I'm scared as hell of any street brawls. I could easily get all my internal organs beated off, my ribs shattered, my finders bended outwards, but still stay alive.

For murder will already make a lot of noise in the neighborhood, and there are more chances to get a serious punishment, and not many will be ready to get their hands so dirty.

 

[Whale_bones]

Do you guys also feel this way? Wanting to be killed? Wanting to place yourself in dangerous situations?

I wonder if there's still those serial killer types out there, people like Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer, with those desires to kill people. Where did they go? Surely people like that still exist, they're just not acting on their desires anymore. I feel like there's no more notorious serial killers anymore.

I think many suicidal people have felt this; it's a combination of a lot of things, one of them being that suicide is so stigmatized, we're literally judged like we committed a sin, like we're the criminal and evil person. Whereas with murder, at least the victim is considered just that; a victim.

In practice though, someone who's homicidal isn't interested in your consent. That's the very basis of killers like Bundy and Dahmer; what they were doing was 100% for them and their enjoyment, and they didn't care about other human beings' wants or needs.

What would actually happen if you repeatedly put yourself in dangerous situations, is you'd likely meet someone who wanted to assault, harass or torture you in whatever ways they personally enjoyed, and it wouldn't matter to them if you said you wanted to die... they'd be the one making that decision, and it would likely be after they did a lot of things that made you suffer.

That's not to judge you having these feelings or just thinking through this, I think it's awful that we have to consider the "what else can I do" scenarios instead of being allowed the basic human right to choose what we do with our own life and death!

Killers are still around, but we see less serial killers because of huge upgrades in technology and changes in societal attitudes. These days, they're caught before their killing can continue for years or decades.

Many killers of the past targeted vulnerable women like runaways and sex workers, whose disappearances wouldn't be reported as quickly and the police wouldn't investigate as thoroughly as they did for other people... it took killers getting away with that for years, sometimes decades, for police and society in general to learn their lesson

 

[endofline2010]

Everyone here is way overcomplicating things. You want someone to kill you, get a gun and a couple hundred dollars. Find a homeless person, tell them if they kill you, they can keep the gun and the money in your pocket.

 

[lonergirl_26]

I feel the same. People who deserve to live are killed all the time so why can't I be killed when I don't deserve to live? I know people have used murder as a form of suicide before so I often fantasise about taking their place.

 

[Overwhelmed52]

TW: Mentions of assault.

I want someone to kill me. I fantasize about it often. I wish I could just simply hire someone to do it. I wish I could find someone with homicidal tendencies, and we could both get that sweet release we're after - they get to kill me, I get to die, a win-win.

I feel like this would be so much better than suicide. Nobody would know that I actually wanted to die. It would be so much easier for my family to grieve my death if I was mugged and killed by some robber instead of if I killed myself.

Maybe this could be a new method, setting yourself up to get killed. I'm a 19 year old girl and I live in a fairly violent city. I feel like if I go downtown late at night wearing a real skimpy outfit, maybe act like I'm drunk, some guy will try to assault me. I can put up a fight and scream and he'll be forced to silence me. Maybe if I try to run away he'll kill me, if I'm lucky enough to score a guy that's just sick enough in the head to do that. I might try this.

Do you guys also feel this way? Wanting to be killed? Wanting to place yourself in dangerous situations?

I still live with my parents. But if I didn't, I wouldn't lock my doors. I'd even leave the doors open. And the windows. I'd make sure that my bedroom had a big window, so you'd be able to see that in a vulnerable young girl. And maybe, if I was lucky, some Ted Bundy type would see me and take my life.

I wonder if there's still those serial killer types out there, people like Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer, with those desires to kill people. Where did they go? Surely people like that still exist, they're just not acting on their desires anymore. I feel like there's no more notorious serial killers anymore. Well, if there's a homicidal maniac reading this, I'd love to be your next victim. I want to die. I'm ready to CTB.

I wish I would get sick with some fast-acting fatal disease, then I could go into hospice and drift away on opioids within a week. Peaceful and blame-free. It's such an unbalanced world, there are so many people in hospice who don't want to be there and I'd be happy to trade places with them.