I want to clarify something

[アホペンギン]

Yesterday's attempt and my very strong suicidal ideation was not caused by befree, don't assume that befree caused it. It was caused by past trauma and I was actually talking to RAS, felt very intimidated from her and all of the trauma came back to me worse than ever. I always felt intimidated around someone with more power than me (mainly my parents) and if they said anything negative to me or didn't agree with a statement that I had, I'd feel terrible about it and punish myself. That is what I did yesterday. Befree did not cause anything, no one caused anything. Don't attack anyone.

 

[RainAndSadness]

It looks like you can't stop mentioning my name so I'll also add my two cents to this conversation.

You approached me yesterday in defense of a thread made by another member. That thread in particular was about SN. We had a brief discussion about the subject and I made very clear in that conversation that I disagree with you regarding your concerns. The thread contained misinformation about SN so I took it down. I explained that to you and it seems you understood that as well - but for some reason you thought you made me angry or mad and you announced you might do "something stupid" as a result of that.

Look, I understand it's not easy to talk to someone when there is a power imbalance and I recognise that makes talking to me more difficult but with no word did I say or imply that I'm angry at you. I never said there would be any consequences for you reaching out to me. None of that. People disagree with me all the time and I don't run this forum with an iron fist. I simply made clear there is no point in having that discussion with you when the person in question who made said thread rejects 100% of the criticism that I've brought forward regarding that SN thread. The thread in question is low-quality, the title implied it would "deconstruct SN" and that's not what it did, it only served to spread misinformation and that's why it's been removed. We have so many informative and useful threads about SN that give us a clear impression of that method and that thread in question wasn't one of them.

And look. I understand your frustration. But implying you're committing suicide because two members of the forum disagreed with you is simply not okay. It's manipulative and abusive. And I think you did that on purpose because you tagged me in that thread. You didn't just mention my name, you tagged me on top of that so I would see it. And look, I have BPD and I know why people do that. I don't know if you're diagnosed with the same condition but this kind behavior isn't new to me. I'm not juding you, I'm just saying I'm not very happy about the way things went down. You could have clarified the situation with me first if you felt so upset about the way this conversation went down. But I don't want to have anything to do with that kind of behavior that happened yesterday. And I think I have a right to set my boundaries like that. I'm the admin of this forum but that doesn't mean I need to take everything. I think I have a right to draw a line somewhere.

And I don't just speak for myself, it was also very unfair towards @befree because as a direct result of that thread, they experienced quite a lot of backlash and they reached out to me to resolve this. And that's why I'm posting a statement now. You can always talk to me and I would have preferred if we had talked this out without dragging it into the forum and involving the entire community for something that was essentially disagreement. That really wasn't okay and I want to make that clear. But again. I'm not angry at you. I don't hate you, I don't have less respect for you. I understand what happened. I understand the process - as I said, I have BPD myself and this condition can express itself in very destructive ways, very similiar to what you did yesterday but there were better ways to resolve that conflict.

I hope I have articulated myself clearly and without giving you the impression that I hold a grudge against you. I just want to clarify things and give out my perspective on this situation. Thanks.